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Reverand111, I didn't see your post while I was posting. Sorry about that.
I am seeing more and more of you all, in the past year, cropping up on City-Data. It has given me hope.
Rather than walk away and stay an atheist or agnostic or whatever the heck I am, I find myself reading a lot of posts written by the same people that seem to really be spreading "The Good News." They understand that God is love.
I truly wonder if this is the way it was meant to be, if this is what it will come down to.
I listen to my mother speak and I often wonder if she's working for the other side. And she doesn't even know it.
Pleroo, you were the only one that contacted me. Thank you for that.
I found this thread and cried for about 10 minutes.
At this point in time I am now agnostic, although it took about 47 years to get here. I believed for about as long as I could hold on.
A very, very small part of me still believes in something.
But I also think that most people are getting it wrong. Really, really wrong.
I think there are a lot of people in the world that are reading The Bible and they are just not getting it. And I wonder about that. And what will become of them.
Pleroo, I will not wonder about you.
hiknapster, I didn't know about the other thread until I read Pleroo's post. What she said really touched me because I could see the "passing by" so clearly the way she described it, and I felt so sad that you reached out and no one bothered to try to comfort or help you. I then read your post in the other thread, but hesitated to reply because I had to think about it. I had loving parents for the most part, and a happy enough childhood, so I can't relate to that situation. But, we all have our burdens to bear (crosses to carry), and all I know to say is God still loves you. He still loves all of us, even though we have to deal with sorrow and loss and sadness. Our greater hope is that someday that won't be the case, and that we will be able to see where the "sad" pieces of our life fit exactly into the puzzle, and how it paints a beautiful picture of God and how He was using everything in our lives to teach us love and to mold us into who he wanted us to be. I hope you'll keep hanging on to that small part of you that believes, and try to let it grow.
What can I write here that won't seem hokey??
I love you guys! You're all special, and these posts show it!
Blessings!
brian
Well, that wasn't hokey at all.
Thank you. I love you, too.
I firmly believe that this direction that religion is taking was written a long time ago. I think I'm finally starting to get it. It took almost 50 years.
I haven't talked to my father in well-over two years. I finally told him off - albeit via e-mail - and haven't talked to him since. I see his picture now on the internet "ministering" to the people in the nursing home. I truly worry about that. I'm not quite sure what he is capable of. He use to be the assistant minister of our church and then get in the car and often beat my mother on the way home. He'd swear, talk about everyone in church. Oh, if they only knew.
I tried to get back in touch a couple of months ago but he won't respond. I find that telling. It took 48 years to tell him off and now he won't talk to me. I always knew it was conditional love but it still hurts to see him prove me right.
I still talk to my mother on the phone, although I take frequent breaks. I won't allow her to badly talk about anyone, anymore. She really, really hates that. I have never heard that woman speak well of anyone. Not one person. I really think that she thinks she is going to be the only one at the pearly gates.
I live in The Bible Belt, although I was raised in Massachusetts. I think it's ironic that it took living around so many Christians to finally send me over the edge.
I wonder if there are like-minded people around me? I wonder where I could find these people? Do you all go to church?
About four years ago I started to research Christianity and started to no longer believe.
Now, I'm not so sure.
I wonder. I wonder if some of us are here to spread the love; to move past the others that are left quibbling about Bible semantics and spouting shallow cliches.
Sometimes it is very heartfelt, but I've personally seen it being used, more and more, as a way to get rid of someone and not feel guilty.
I've heard that so many times. I may believe one or two here and there but it's mostly lip service to either shut you up or to get away as quick as possible. It seems to me that once those church doors are closed, it's an all out hate fest towards those who disagree with your ideas of God. I get that a lot on here because I know how different my beliefs are than most peoples. I like it though and I'm the only one who will have to make the corrections if it's wrong.
Reverand111, I didn't see your post while I was posting. Sorry about that.
I am seeing more and more of you all, in the past year, cropping up on City-Data. It has given me hope.
Rather than walk away and stay an atheist or agnostic or whatever the heck I am, I find myself reading a lot of posts written by the same people that seem to really be spreading "The Good News." They understand that God is love.
I truly wonder if this is the way it was meant to be, if this is what it will come down to.
I listen to my mother speak and I often wonder if she's working for the other side. And she doesn't even know it.
No worries, hik.
I'm on and off here. Gotta take a break from the fear once in a while to get my bearings back in order. I took a couple of months off from here just recently and just returned within the past couple of weeks. Sure hasn't changed any around here. I'm so glad to see some threads that are positive.
In the song, there's a part where it goes,
"when he leaves this world, then he won't be alone..now the fighting has all gone; no more just trying to hold on to the dreams of this world -- where he never quite belonged."
So much in life is about belonging, and being accepted.
I think we all fear being accepted for who we are. We are often misunderstood. I don't think my parents have ever understood me fully, although over time maybe it gets easier.
Sometimes we do crazy things just to be accepted. Accepted by mom and dad; accepted by others; accepted by God.
From the book "Love Without End" by Glenda Green. The contributor is Jesus:
"Life is love in action. It is the hope of life to have meaningful experience, happiness, fulfillment, and continuity. Life has indwelling intelligence. Follow life, serve the living, and fulfill your love by following the pathways that life is revealing to you. There is great wisdom in that simple process. This is why I told my disciples to follow life and let the dead bury the dead. Dwelling on old mistakes is very costly. Life and the living will light your way and unfold your future. Instead of watching life through a rear view mirror, look before you and behold the current possibilities with innocent perception. In practicing this, you will cultivate the inborn intelligence of how life works and how the love that you are can foster better involvements with it. Forgive yourself and others, for yesterday has already been lived. That is what I meant by 'the dead.' Be here now and face the path in front of you, for that is where life is."
Pleroo, you were the only one that contacted me. Thank you for that.
I found this thread and cried for about 10 minutes.
At this point in time I am now agnostic, although it took about 47 years to get here. I believed for about as long as I could hold on.
A very, very small part of me still believes in something.
But I also think that most people are getting it wrong. Really, really wrong.
I think there are a lot of people in the world that are reading The Bible and they are just not getting it. And I wonder about that. And what will become of them.
Pleroo, I will not wonder about you.
Hiknapster,
This world can be a sad and lonely place, I think a lot of us have been there and a lot close off so that they do not have to deal with it.
I certainly did not have the extent of abuse that you had in your upbringing, but my upbringing did leave me with depression, esteem problems and deep repression.
I spent many years in that place closed off but where part of me still believed in "something" while I rejected the religion of christianity.
I understand where you are coming from and for me I have come to a place of acceptance that christians are still people and have varying levels of emotional and spiritual maturity, some like your parents were very immature and possibly hurt, confused, and abused themselves, (or just plain evil) and did not realise what they were doing to you.
What I have come to believe in is hope and healing for all......
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