Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
True, this is the hardest part. Right now, I am not sure going through this emotional torment of "losing" my family is worth it to live a lifestyle that I am not sure will even bring me happiness. Plus it hurts me knowing how much it would hurt them.
In my past year in the gay community, I have come to realize that the gay lifestyle (at least in bars and clubs) is pretty empty and superficial. Promiscuity is the name of the game and the only thing most people care about is physical appearance and who they are going to bed with that night. That's not all gay people (you are certainly an exception) but it goes for a majority of the people who frequent gay bars and clubs. Maybe there is another segment of the gay community out there that is not this way? The straight scene is the same way in the bars and clubs but straights have many other outlets to meet and mingle. What do gays have? Manhunt? Don't get me started on that.
Plus I don't really enjoy sodomy...I enjoy a deep emotional and spiritual connection with another man, well beyond what any straight man would desire.
So far I like the idea of distancing myself and setting boundries on where my parents can control me, but thats easier said than done. Every Sunday they call me and ask me if I went to church and where. If I don't talk to them about it they will assume I didn't go and I will have to hear my dad go berserk about it.
As for religion...I definitely don't want to give it up but I can't be part of the Independent Baptist cult and be happy with myself. That religion is about fear and control. I however have a difficult time grasping the concept of a more open, permissive God because its so different than the concept of God I grew up with. Maybe a minister at a more liberal church could help me with this? If I was to try some more liberal churches what denominations would be a good fit? One thing I've experienced is most young people who are religious gravitate towards the more conservative denominations. Nearly every liberal church I've attended has been a mostly older congregation. Are there open minded churches out there that are also popular with young people?
Thanks for all the replies by the way. Every one of them, on both sides of the issue, have been very helpful.
This site above is a great way to find gay-friendly churches. We're Presbyterian, but you'll also find Episcopal, Lutheran, Methodist, non-denominational churches that are gay-friendly, and then there's the MCC (Metropolitan Community Church) that is specifically a church for gay people. Coming from an IBC background, you may prefer the more evangelical style of worship, so I'll say that Lutheran, Episcopal, and Presbyterian can lean toward the more "Catholic" style of worship, which could be a shock to you if you're not used to the orderly, liturgical style of worship.
Gay bars are just that, and I've found screwed up, alcoholic, promiscuous people in bars as well as honest, wonderful friends. You just have to know what you want and look for decent people. I don't go to bars of any type... my partner doesn't drink at all, we're parents, and really, what's the point?
You refer to it as "the gay lifestyle", something you were taught by your church and family. Being gay isn't a lifestyle, although I'd agree that there is a "bar lifestyle" within the gay community. And referring to sex as "sodomy" sure isn't going to score you any points with anyone in the gay community lol! Honestly, I've read and re-read the story of Soddom and Gomorrah several times and am still clueless as to how the fundamentalists turn this into an anti homosexuality story.
I don't look for people online, but surely there's a better place to find friends online as well. You could try google searching "gay christians friends" to find people. The people who are out in bars are truly not representative of all gay men, although I think it's a typical starting out point for young men who just came out.
You can DM me if you have any specific questions and I'd be happy to answer!
Don't you think Chris has been told this a thousand times by now? You are not helping anyone here, so why don't you keep your bigoted bible opinions to yourself?
I disagree with you because the TRUTH SHALL SET HIM FREE, and I am sharing the truth about what God says on the topic.
Many homosexuals have been set free by the truth and repented. They are now in grace and will be given a beautiful rewards, eternal life in paradise!
Psalm 139:13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
God did not create gay people, God did not create Adam and Steve.
Being gay is a FREE CHOICE, God doesn't create you gay and you are not born gay.
And that is why God warns gay people in the bible... REPENT OR PERISH!
Okay, so at what age did you sit yourself down and say "Self, shall we be heterosexual or homosexual?" I never did. I was born the way I am. I never made a choice to like boys, they've just ways been the ones I find attractive. Heck, I had my first "boyfriend" when I was five, and have vivid memories of hiding with him behind the big wooden church door, and my mom wailing my butt for catching me kissing him.
I didn't choose my sexual orientation. The only people that can sort of 'choose' would be those that are genuinely bisexual. And they wouldn't NOT be bisexual anymore, they would simply be limiting themselves to one gender.
But I don't really care what your archaic tome of myths says. I'm a smart enough person to realize that what some nomadic superstitious goatherders made up thousands of years ago has very little bearing on what is good and right and kind and loving and accepting.
I disagree with you because the TRUTH SHALL SET HIM FREE, and I am sharing the truth about what God says on the topic.
Many homosexuals have been set free by the truth and repented. They are now in grace and will be given a beautiful rewards, eternal life in paradise!
Actually, that is not true. Many gays conform because maybe they are too weak to stand up to others about who they truely are. They give in to peer pressure and live the way others want them to live and all the while, they are losing their own soul in the process. They are giving up on themselves to please the masses. If someone told you that you had to stop worshipping your bible because the majority of the world ridiculed you at every turn for reading and adhereing to it, would you give it up without remembering what it was like to live your life through that book? You would be miserable. Just because a gay gave up the lifestyle for another does not make them straight. They will always be gay and there is nothing anyone in this world can do about it.
Continue to condemn another for being imperfect. You will have to pay the price for that condemnation. Judge not lest ye be judged. You are not perfect so don't condemn another because they are not perfect.
Oh, and by the way, just because it's in a book and has been believed for thousands of years, does not make it true.
I disagree with you because the TRUTH SHALL SET HIM FREE, and I am sharing the truth about what God says on the topic.
Many homosexuals have been set free by the truth and repented. They are now in grace and will be given a beautiful rewards, eternal life in paradise!
You REALLY believe this and have the proof???
Some years back when I was still a Christian, I was part of a male retreat at Calvary Chapel in Ft. Lauderdale. One portion of the retreat was hosted by a "former" gay person who now claimed he was delivered from his homosexuality by Jesus. He was now married and had a baby girl to (I guess) prove this to everyone.
During his entire session you could see the awkwardness of the situation on the faces of the men in the crowd. Some even left. Why? Well, he was clearly still rather flamboyant (not saying all gays are) and his animations were still overtly feminine even though you could see he tried to temper it. It was clearly evident, at least to me, this guy was seriously lying to himself and no straight guy would believe for one second he was not still gay and was doing a great disservice to himself, his wife and his child all because someone probably convinced him that he was a sinner just for being himself.
Since I have moved back to New York, I have met at least 3 [black] women (now in the 50s and 60s) who have 3, 4, 5 kids who now are open about their gayness. Each one of them admit they were ALWAYS gay, but as black women, 30-40 years ago, they sure as hell had better pretend and pretend VERY good that they were straight. I also know a few men (one being my stepmother's niece's husband) who started families only to be caught with another man OR who came out and stopped lying to themselves. This kind of suppression and subsequent deception hurts EVERYONE involved in the end exponentially. My stepmother's niece is still devastated 15 years later and the children are still trying to cop. This was a man who was a deacon in a Baptist Church.
So for all the people in here talking nonsense about asking Jesus to deliver Chris from his own NATURAL orientation are asking for the IMPOSSIBLE! Not only is this outside Jesus' scope of power...I am not even sure he cares, being dead and all (this is my ENTITLED opinion so don't go reporting the darn post like a wuss). Let the guy be and let him live the life nature carved out for him that is NOT against the law.
The fact that you shared on here what you did proves you have an open heart , i believe it's the Lord opening your heart and drawing you to Himself , i also agree with Firstborns post.
He is drawing you to Himself , and not leaning on you and breathing threats to you like some have on this thread because of homosexuality.
Being gay is a FREE CHOICE, God doesn't create you gay and you are not born gay.
People can indeed be born with the desire for the same sex; it's a fallen world. However, it's a free choice to act on those homosexual desires -- and therein lies the sin. We all can be tempted with sin in many different ways, but we must resist those temptations -- whether it's homosexuality or any other sin.
1 Corinthians 10:13 - There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
James 4:7 - Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
Some years back when I was still a Christian, I was part of a male retreat at Calvary Chapel in Ft. Lauderdale. One portion of the retreat was hosted by a "former" gay person who now claimed he was delivered from his homosexuality by Jesus. He was now married and had a baby girl to (I guess) prove this to everyone.
During his entire session you could see the awkwardness of the situation on the faces of the men in the crowd. Some even left. Why? Well, he was clearly still rather flamboyant (not saying all gays are) and his animations were still overtly feminine even though you could see he tried to temper it. It was clearly evident, at least to me, this guy was seriously lying to himself and no straight guy would believe for one second he was not still gay and was doing a great disservice to himself, his wife and his child all because someone probably convinced him that he was a sinner just for being himself.
Since I have moved back to New York, I have met at least 3 [black] women (now in the 50s and 60s) who have 3, 4, 5 kids who now are open about their gayness. Each one of them admit they were ALWAYS gay, but as black women, 30-40 years ago, they sure as hell had better pretend and pretend VERY good that they were straight. I also know a few men (one being my stepmother's niece's husband) who started families only to be caught with another man OR who came out and stopped lying to themselves. This kind of suppression and subsequent deception hurts EVERYONE involved in the end exponentially. My stepmother's niece is still devastated 15 years later and the children are still trying to cop. This was a man who was a deacon in a Baptist Church.
So for all the people in here talking nonsense about asking Jesus to deliver Chris from his own NATURAL orientation are asking for the IMPOSSIBLE! Not only is this outside Jesus' scope of power...I am not even sure he cares, being dead and all (this is my ENTITLED opinion so don't go reporting the darn post like a wuss). Let the guy be and let him live the life nature carved out for him that is NOT against the law.
We used to have an "Ex-gay" man in our neighborhood. I remember the first time I met him, at a party. He started talking to me, offered to bring me a drink. After getting the feeling he was "interested" in me and obviously gay, I let him know I had a partner. He was rather flamboyant, a big flower gardener, and had a home staging business. When he introduced me to his wife I about spit my drink on her! I mean, it was just so wrong looking for him to pretend to be hetero. I mostly felt sorry for his wife. Maybe they were mostly just shopping buddies?
I've read about some of these "ex-gay" ministries and they admit that most of their "converts" never truly convert. Their goal is to get gay men to just deny their true selves and live their lives alone and love-less. Pretty pathetic.
People can indeed be born with the desire for the same sex; it's a fallen world. However, it's a free choice to act on those homosexual desires -- and therein lies the sin. We all can be tempted with sin in many different ways, but we must resist those temptations -- whether it's homosexuality or any other sin.
Well that is your subjective opinion, but I can bet my bottom dollar that with or without this 'sin' you speak of, some Christians STILL have a problem with a homosexual having urges toward the same sex. THAT in many of their minds is also the "sin."
Now, read carefully what you stated. You admit that people CAN be BORN WITH the desire for the same sex which is another way of admitting (correctly) that people can be born gay. Using your theological worldview, who is responsible for that? Isn't it your god (in your world) who created every single child? If you are born that way, how can you 'sin' if you act on what comes natural to you that is ALSO not against the law of the land?
People can indeed be born with the desire for the same sex; it's a fallen world. However, it's a free choice to act on those homosexual desires -- and therein lies the sin. We all can be tempted with sin in many different ways, but we must resist those temptations -- whether it's homosexuality or any other sin.
1 Corinthians 10:13 - There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
James 4:7 - Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
Amen! We have a history of alcoholism in my family. My dad could have gone down that destructive road just like all the men in his family, but he CHOSE not to drink because he knew the consequences.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
