Its sucks being a college educated BLK male in Chicago. (Naperville: rent, neighborhoods)

[emathias]

Originally Posted by Tex?Il?

...
Chicagos the opposite, you will NEVER hear someway say something that is openly racist
...

I have stories that would absolutely counter this, but I don't want to get this thread off track. *Most* Chicagoans aren't racists, but some are and are willing to express their opinions.

Anyway, to the Original Poster:

I'm not sure exactly what you're looking for from a group of friends. Yes, some people may be more reserved around you than they would be around people of their own race. But it's rare for anyone - regardless of race - to make friends with everyone. Especially in a big city. I know there are a lot of Southern Illinois alumni here in Chicago. When I moved to Chicago, I started by reaching out to people from the school I went to. People I only kinda knew became better friends than they were in college. I made friends with co-workers, too. I volunteered at a small museum I thought was interesting. and then I made friends with friends of friends and friends of acquaintances.

When it comes to race, as someone else pointed out in places like Lincoln Park, the color of your skin matters some, but it can be overcome. What will matter is other aspects of what gets called "black culture." I don't know you, and I don't know how you act or how you come across to people, but you do mention your brother not being able to fit in well with professionals. Based only on that, and maybe I'm wrong, but I think it's possible that even if you act more professional than your brother that you project some of the aspects of non-mainstream culture that, to some Lincoln Parker might get interpreted as "ghetto" or "gangsta" or even just less ambitious than most other professionals without realizing you're doing it.

The vast majority of the people I know are white. That's not intentional, it's mostly a function of where I work and where I live and the fact I don't go out of my way to meet people outside of people I just naturally run into. But I've worked with a fairly wide variety of black individuals. I've had black co-workers and black bosses. In my career, NONE of them have seemed "ghetto" or "gangsta," but some have an attitude that's more laid-back that many white professionals have a strongly negative reaction to. And yes, some non-black people are overly laid-back, too, and they do get avoided because of it, too. If there's anything that professionally universally resonate with, it's highly-motivated, determined ambition. If that's missing, whether you be black, white, whatever, you'll have a harder time fitting in, or you'll have to fit in as something other than a professional.

Part of the laid-back vs. ambitious difference, in my observations, has more often than not coincided with how strongly the individuals identified as black relative to other social groups they identified with. That's a cultural thing, not a biological racial thing. And that makes it harder in some ways to fight, because having cultural preferences isn't frowned upon nearly as much as having biological racial preferences, so people are much less likely to think through their own views if they have a cultural preference even if that cultural preference tends to exclude blacks more often than whites.

All that is basically background info on why I'm saying what I'm going to say next, because if I just said it outright it would seem outrageous. It may still be a little offensive, but I don't intend it to be.

So I'm saying that being biologically black, and adhering to cultural norms that some - even some black people - would call "being black" or "acting black" are different things. And with that in mind, if your normal way of acting falls into that "being black" cultural behavior, and you really want to make inroads with white professionals, you'll have better luck if you "act white." White professionals, by and large, don't consider their own culture to be "white culture," they just consider it to be the mainstream culture. And to a large extent, they're right. It is the mainstream. It is also white culture, but it is the mainstream. It occasionally adapts to other cultures, but it assumes that people who want to fully participate will learn the culture. That applies to foreigners, too. I work with a lot of Indians, and the ones who are most successful "act white" in their professional roles. They may still go home to a spouse they got through an arranged marriage. They may still have a wife who cooks curry for them every day. But when it comes to professional socializing, they have learned how to act - and the differences between Indian and American business culture are every bit as different as between mainstream American business culture and various American subcultures - including most of the different kinds of "black culture."

Part of fitting is is learning the culture of the group you want to join. Just because you're American and college educated doesn't mean you automatically have learned all the necessary parts of upper-middle-class professional culture. You can - it's what influences most of the mainstream media so there are plenty of examples - but it may take a concerted effort.

[ptug101]

I went to an all white highschool, so Im familiar with acting white. In fact Ive had people tell me how unstereotypical I am. In college I had a circlle of freinds who were pretty much all white. I have fit in with white professionals in other citys. Its not that I have had bad experience,its just that Chicago doesnt provide many instances where one can interact with different races in a comfortable setting.( not just whites) I like latino culture as well.

[reppin_the_847]

LMAO! I think you're pretty spot on here. I loved your assessment of Miami's women. You seem like a pretty easy going, tell it as it is type of dude. EMathias's post was extremely insightful as well. Seems like Atlanta is the modern day "black mecca" and Miami is the "Latino / South American mecca" with Texas & California being the mecca for the middle to upper class Mexican diaspora. Chicago's kind of a mish mash of all these folks (minus some of the South Americans and other ethnicities you might see in say, NYC, like Dominicans and Trinidad / Guyanese. The segregation here sucks, but they say Milwaukee's got it even worse.

Originally Posted by ptug101

Im not accusing people in LP of being racist,but they do seem
to be very elitist and cliquish its hard to break in, the crowds on rush/division seem similiars, but more diverse.

when I was in Miami and Denver,everybody seemed so much freindlier
you would see groups that consist of a blk guy a white guy and a spanish guy.
and BLKs and spanish people seemed to get alone better.

NY seemed more racially unified,people in lower Mannhattan
seemed to care more about class and education than race.
but my brother who is very urban and kind of ghetto did not fit
in and hung out in harlem when we were there,but NY is too crowded
and way to expensive.

Miami is cool,but the lifestyle is too fast,the woman are even too fast for me
I mean being a pornstar is a legit profession to some of those chicks great place to visit but to fast to live.

Im gonna check out Austin,TX and the Bay Area

[Dressy]

Originally Posted by ptug101

Now that Im back in Chicago,Im not really feeling the love,all the nice spots
like Lincoln Park Lakeview,and Rush/Division,seem to be for only for young white professionals,yes there are Blacks and Hispanics sprinkled around,but people really arent mingling an associating with each other,and I dont want to hangout at Black establishments all the time,because I am a professional and really wanna limit my exposure to the ghetto crowd.

(...)
but I just want a diverse social scene with college educated and open minding
professionals,but its not here.

Chicago is diverse,but segergated.
Wicker park is ok and hipsters seem pretty reasonable,but Im not really into hipster culture.

I do not understand, so let me get this straight, are you looking for the "diverse social scene" in all sorts of bars?
Otherwise, I do not get it, where and how do you expect people to mingle with you and express their love?

Life is not all bars and night life out. One day you will find a great job (if your education is in fact as good as it seems), settle with a family in a house and will invite people or all races and colors for dinner if you like and laugh at what you was worrying about now.

[Aleking]

Originally Posted by ptug101

Im African American Grew up on the southside of chicago,but went to a private
highschool in the southwest burbs which was 80% white. I dealt with some racism,but nothing major just a handful of people and a few jokes. Highschool
was just a waste time in my opinion,really couldnt hangout with anyone because of how the neighborhoods were set up.

Then I went to a really diverse college,and had lots of fun, there were white parties,blk parties, and mixed crowds all to hangout and everybody accepted
everybody with opem arms, the white kids from the middle of the state were all really cool and not elitist even though I figured they would be more conservative then white kids from the chicagoland. The black,white spanish,etc etc ladies were all freindly. The white kids from the north suburban Chicago area seemed ok,but were kind of elitist not just to BLK kids,but to white kids from smalltowns.
The locals were pretty cool as well,Southern Illinois seemed to be an ok Community.

Now that Im back in Chicago,Im not really feeling the love,all the nice spots
like Lincoln Park Lakeview,and Rush/Division,seem to be for only for young white professionals,yes there are Blacks and Hispanics sprinkled around,but people really arent mingling an associating with each other,and I dont want to hangout at Black establishments all the time,because I am a professional and really wanna limit my exposure to the ghetto crowd. I know with BLK flash mob people are becoming more apprehensive to BLK males,which I understand.

but I just want a diverse social scene with college educated and open minding
professionals,but its not here. Chicago is diverse,but segergated.
Wicker park is ok and hipsters seem pretty reasonable,but Im not really into hipster culture.

There are like 4 or 5 diverse neighborhoods in the whole city, this isn't anything new and it's the same in every city all over the country.

[FAReastcoast]

Originally Posted by Aleking

There are like 4 or 5 diverse neighborhoods in the whole city, this isn't anything new and it's the same in every city all over the country.

I have to disagree with this; I can't speak for Chicago, as I am still new to the city, however it isn't the same in every city. I know for a fact New York has literally hundreds of diverse neighborhoods, in fact, almost all of Queens falls into this category. I also find LA to have several very diverse neighborhoods. I know Chicago is more segregated than NY or LA but 4 or 5 seems like a very low number.

[Aleking]

Originally Posted by FAReastcoast

I have to disagree with this; I can't speak for Chicago, as I am still new to the city, however it isn't the same in every city. I know for a fact New York has literally hundreds of diverse neighborhoods, in fact, almost all of Queens falls into this category. I also find LA to have several very diverse neighborhoods. I know Chicago is more segregated than NY or LA but 4 or 5 seems like a very low number.

I find a lot of truth in New York being a mosaic not a melting pot but of course there are exceptions. LA is the same, huge city with little diversity within neighborhoods. And the OP wasn't talking about places like Queens.

As for Chicago, it's in fact 4 or 5...Rogers Park, Albany Park, Edgewater, Uptown and to a lesser extent Hyde Park, the rest are either overwhelmingly white, black or latino or feature a limited enclave.

[Lorielicious]

It's true of small towns all over, sure, but is very untrue of places like NY, LA or SF.

Edit: My response was at FAReastcoast.

[Aleking]

Not sure where people get this idea that the white people that live in the Lincoln Park/River North/Gold Coast equivelant hoods in LA/SF and NYC are sharing their blocks with a bunch of minorities, it just doesn't happen. The wealthy/upscale neighborhoods (like mentioned in the OPs post) are overwhelmingly white in every city.

[Aleking]

FWIW, good read on diversity in Chicago and backs up my claim nicely

http://las.depaul.edu/chaddick/docs/...20Neighbor.pdf