I think I need to get out of Winnetka - but where to go? (Chicago: home, neighborhood)

[MayaLucy]

I'm moving from Austin, TX where we've lived for the past 12 years. I don't know how familiar you are with Austin but it is in many ways distinctly different from the rest of the state of TX. Climate is awesome 9 months of the year. You could look into the east side of town or some of the walkable neighborhoods central. Also maybe look into Portland, OR.

Good luck. I'll be moving to Wilmette in just a couple weeks. Drop me a line if you want to meet for coffee and give me the gritty details of living in the northern burbs!

[sfcambridge]

Chicago is quite segregated. The Midwest is quite segregated. Suburbs are very segregated. In general.

If interested in staying local, I would recommend Oak Park or Evanston.

In general, living in major American cities - not suburbs - will give you more diversity.

[Finp06]

Thank you. I appreciate your thoughtful comments. I have no idea how the rest of the USA works apart from vacationing in various different states so it helps to hear your pov. I am trying to raise 2 children to empathise with those less well off and not to see color as just the 'staff'.... tricky when I'm surrounded by such extreme wealth and perceived perfection. And difficult for me living in East Winnetka as I'm just adding fuel to the flame lol.

[Finp06]

Originally Posted by sfcambridge

Chicago is quite segregated. The Midwest is quite segregated. Suburbs are very segregated. In general.

If interested in staying local, I would recommend Oak Park or Evanston.

In general, living in major American cities - not suburbs - will give you more diversity.

Good to know - thx

[Finp06]

Originally Posted by NOLA101

True, Santa Monica is another good example. They have housing projects and Hollywood mega-celebrities.

Again, though, having lived in Manhattan, Brooklyn, and coastal CA (all areas where there are rich and poor right next to each other) I don't see it being that different than if the poor live a few km away, as is more typical in Chicagoland. People from different social strata don't interact that much, even if they live in proximity.

Was in Santa Monica in Febuary. Went to the Pier on a Saturday evening and was pretty impressed at how many different types of people were there.

[Finp06]

Originally Posted by NOLA101

SF would also be a possibility, with lots of rich and poor in proximity.

SF is probably the most loved place in the USA by Brits that have visited including myself. I'm starting to get why! I'd love to live there but DH says too far away for his national commute.
Thanks though - all comments on here have been very helpful. I'm just going to have to bust my *** to make my children aware that this micro bubble just isn't normal.

[damba]

SF/the Bay Area will most certainly not the same thing living there vs visiting as a tourist. With such a massive concentration of wealth it will also be subject to at least some of the problems you have described and similar to where you are currently residing- other than the weather .

At least it sounds like you have options as far as even being able to 'test the waters elsewhere' is concerned. A lot of folks are stuck once they buy the nice home and when the kids are invested in the school/friends/activities. Keep in mind though that if you plan on living in other luxurious areas of the USA like Winnetka income-wise, you *will* encounter the type of behavior you are dancing around describing in full detail because you are polite Even so, this 'entitlement culture' and the folks who seem to subscribe to it, isn't the only culture present in the north shore. Perhaps 2.5 years just isn't enough time for you to have met the right group of friends in Winnetka who share your views and have similar concerns about their children. They do exist(!)

FWIW, I didn't grow up around any of the extreme wealth that I see in parts of the north shore communities. But that said, my own prejudices also were thrown out the windows once I got the lay of the land and discovered that I also had some crazy ideas in my head as well about my neighbors. They had no idea who would be moving in next door though

I hope you don't mind me asking if you are a SAHM? FWIW, at least a couple of my wife's friends had similar experiences to yours around here when they relocated and quit their jobs, at least regarding dealing with a lot of the BS that you have alluded to. They couldn't wait to get back into the job market again since at least they could reduce the daily torture by 8-9 hours outside of Facebook

Your comments about the Winnetka schools are interesting but not surprising, coming from the UK. Our K-12 system in the USA is arguably our 'achille's heel' in many cases. Most international transplants I have known with kids that seem to be repeating much of the rote work they already has abroad tend to supplement their public school education here with tutors and extra and/or accelerated classes to cover part of the gap. When this is possible, of course.

Best of luck in dealing with it all.

Originally Posted by Finp06

SF is probably the most loved place in the USA by Brits that have visited including myself. I'm starting to get why! I'd love to live there but DH says too far away for his national commute.
Thanks though - all comments on here have been very helpful. I'm just going to have to bust my *** to make my children aware that this micro bubble just isn't normal.

[NOLA101]

Originally Posted by damba

Your comments about the Winnetka schools are interesting but not surprising, coming from the UK. Our K-12 system in the USA is arguably our 'achille's heel' in many cases. Most international transplants I have known with kids that seem to be repeating much of the rote work they already has abroad tend to supplement their public school education here with tutors and extra and/or accelerated classes to cover part of the gap. When this is possible, of course.

Best of luck in dealing with it all.

I'll admit I know nothing about British schools, but I find the comments re. Winnetka schools to be quite odd.

Winnetka is the New Trier district, which is probably the highest achieving district in Illinois. The schools are an Ivy League factory. You have dozens of grads going to Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Columbia, etc. every year. The children become doctors, lawyers, scientists, academics, bankers, etc. How on earth can this be a subpar educational environment?

I get that Germany isn't the UK, but I attended public schools in both Germany and the U.S., and I would say the K-12 system in the U.S. is superior to that of Germany (and I certainly didn't attend a district like New Trier). Is the UK system really that amazing? I find this hard to believe.

[damba]

Nobody said it's sub-par. Keep in mind that the issue isn't whether or not her district provides a quality education, but whether or not it provides what she needs for her kids, coming from the UK. It's fairly common knowledge that international transplants often arrive here to our K-12 schools slightly ahead of their peers, at least from the standpoint of when they were exposed to a particular subject or material. What grades they received is of course a separate matter entirely.

You can use mathematics and foreign language learning as two examples, Here, the K-12 schools are still catching up regarding when the kids are exposed to other languages, and often, they still only provide very rudimentary Spanish language lessons, even in some of the better suburban districts. The ones that do learn Spanish still sometimes repeat this for several years in grade school, or have curriculum that never focuses on *speaking* the language but continues the odd focus on the cultural aspects. Math is a better example. Brits and German kids often arrive here at least two years ahead in math (sometimes more). YMMV. When my wife had a job settling Swedes transplanted to Chicago for their company, their kids all had exposure to algebra and/or calc at least three years earlier than the kids here did in public schools. Again, all kids/programs/school districts here are not the same.

cheers

Originally Posted by NOLA101

I'll admit I know nothing about British schools, but I find the comments re. Winnetka schools to be quite odd.

Winnetka is the New Trier district, which is probably the highest achieving district in Illinois. The schools are an Ivy League factory. You have dozens of grads going to Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Columbia, etc. every year. The children become doctors, lawyers, scientists, academics, bankers, etc. How on earth can this be a subpar educational environment?

I get that Germany isn't the UK, but I attended public schools in both Germany and the U.S., and I would say the K-12 system in the U.S. is superior to that of Germany (and I certainly didn't attend a district like New Trier). Is the UK system really that amazing? I find this hard to believe.

[civis]

Originally Posted by Finp06

So don't hate me but I think we need to get out of Winnetka. We've been here 2 1/2 years.
We are considering a move next Summer either to another suburb locally or out of State.
We have made many friends and my kids are happy so this is a big decision because I'm just not getting 'enough'. Plus the D36 school district isn't great for a Brit family which will probably end up back in England eventually where there is a more rigorous system in Grade school. (Not saying better btw - but it is further ahead and I need to be mindful of that)

As a Brit, used to more people in less space I really struggle with the segregation here both of color and wealth. I find it bizarre to be surrounded by hundreds of wealthy families with the only 'poor' ones being shop, restaurant workers and trades.
My expensive home town in England had streets of incredible wealth down to streets of social housing. Of course there was separation but the town was buzzing with many bars, restaurants, coffee shops and retail shops where all 'classes' of people frequented.

You are not going to find what you are looking for anywhere in the US.
Ask yourself: does US have free healthcare, free/almost free college education, long vacations, gun free culture? UK and US are 2 completely different worlds, there's nothing common in them except language.
UK values social skills, social protection, availability of high quality education to everyone, safe environment.
US values mostly individualism, which brings it to segregation by location, special education system they called "ivy league" only accessible to super rich, endless ghettos, etc. People of different races sincerely hate each other in the US because they are so segregated, just rarely show it up openly. Look what they do to each other on highways, or all these weekly mass murders - you will never see anything like that anywhere in Europe.