Need advice on kitten (kittens, laser, throw, food)

[midwestmom]

Came home from work one morning and this furball ran right over. Waited around outside and momcat never appeared. Vet estimated she was about 3 weeks old. She would get all kind of angry at how slow milk came out of a bottle or a syringe so went to kitten food pretty quick. She's now 8-9 weeks and still biting/clawing pretty often. We have an older cat and dog who have been teaching her some manners and she is improving. Had to resort to misting her with water when she gets over the top pouncing/attacking - works sometimes, other times she come backs attacking the bottle, still will bite if you try to pet her about 70% of the time, thinks our dog is her mom and wants to cuddle which the dog tolerates- she's tried moving away but kitten follows. Still, she does have longer calm periods than before.
It really seems like her biting/pouncing is playing - only she doesn't have another kitten around who thinks wrestling around is fun. She stayed at a friends when we went away a few days and was pretty aggressive. At our house she seems to know the rules better though she's still learning.
The plan had been to find her a home, only I haven't been able to and I know she'd fail behavior test. No room at any no-kill shelters. There are a lot more better behaved kittens out there needing homes.
Is this typical for her age, where she might outgrow it? She will defer to our older pets at times and I think part of it is her excess energy. We'll be moving in 3 months and I'm nervous keeping her because of pet limits only I also know she'd probably be put down. Does anyone know how I might find a foster home for her?
I'm having a very hard time with this, at this point we really seem like her best and only hope of a home but I do need to consider the rental rules for the rest of us. I'd have no problem keeping her when we move and have approval for all our pets.

[catsmom21]

She just needs training on how to behave, she needs socialization. This is very common for kittens growing up without a mama and litter mates.

She doesn't understand misting, so it's not going to work for aggressive play. First of all, since she wants to bite and scratch when you pet her, give her something else to bite and scratch instead. Get a stuffed animal about her size (make sure there is nothing that she can choke on, sewed or glued on it) She needs to learn that it is okay to be aggressive to the toy, but not to people.

Pet her only the number of times she will accept before she gets feisty, if she gets going after two pets, pet her once. If she goes for the first pet, don't pet her, hand her the toy instead.

Always approach her with a toy in your hand. String on a stick and wand toys are good for keepng distance between you while she learns to control herself. If she still goes for you, even after she has the toy, you say firmly NO (use her name) in a hissy voice and turn your back on her and ignore her. This is, in general, how a mother cat teaches a kitten to behave. After a minute or two resume the activity but the very next time she bites at you, again tell her no and turn your back.

The third time it happens, get up and walk away from her, Leave the room and close the door, if possible. After five minutes open the door but don't pay any particular attention to her for a few more minutes.

You need to be absolutely consistent with this, and she will learn. It might take her a week, it might take a couple months, all depends on the cat and the people doing the training. Everyone should be on board acting the same way.

Now, you want her to have success, so learn her signals. Watch for indications of over stimulation such as eyes becoming wide, dark and fixated on a body part of yours. If you see that, stop the activity and turn away. Or ears going back, skin on back rippling, tail lashing, all these are signs of over stimulation. Back off and throw something for her to chase down so she can run off some of that energy instead.

In time, you might see her start to go for a bite, and then catch herself. This means she is starting to learn. Praise her and tell her how wonderful she is, when she does that.

Involve her in the household at all times. Talk to her, acknowledge her no matter what you are doing. Carry around with you some toys that you can throw for her to chase down, any time she seems like she needs to run and play and you are busy doing something else.

Some kittens just have that extra need to go go go even more than most. I have a kitten like that. She also was an orphan, I've had her since she was 4 weeks old. She's 16 months old now and has learned wonderfully to not scratch or bite but she still needs a ton of attention from me daily.

If I skip a play session, I pay for it later, in her mischief. If I play with her enough she is tired and doesn't think about climbing the curtains or getting on top of the door frames or tightrope walking the curtain rods, or knocking everything off the top of the refrigerator and anything taped anywhere..

So lots of structured play time (routine is very important. A cat likes knowing what's coming next in her day. So as she learns what the times are she is going to get that special attention she will come to look forward to it) lots of training on how not to behave, don't worry about the petting and cuddling now, that will come later. She's too busy learning how to be, for that just yet.

Consistency, patience and love will win the day, in the end.

PS Hurray for you, on the Rescue!

[mawipafl]

It could very well be just an age thing. Your kitten's behavior sounds so similar to mine when she was that age -- pouncing on everything and everyone; biting everything and everyone (in a play-type mode not an angry aggressive mode), climbing anything there was to climb, wanting to cuddle with our dog and other cats even though they'd give her the not-right-now-get-outta-here swats. Like mine, your kitten probably didn't have the litter mates to play with during those first few weeks and that's when they learn the social rules and other proper behaviors. If you can hold on for just a couple more weeks I think you might see a maturity (of sorts) develop. At about 3 months (12 weeks or so) our kitten was much, much calmer -- not non-energetic, but her wacky crazies are no longer making us pull our hair out.

[Summerz]

Great advice so far. Ours was an abandoned WILD CHILD.
5 weeks old, poor thing.
They do need some extra tlc and understanding.
We also gave her some stuffed toys to wrestle with.

She is a year and a half now, still LOVES her teddy bear.

[midwestmom]

Thank you all for the advice. She can be pretty feisty and now it does sound like her age might be part of it. Catsmom, thank you for the details - we do have small stuffies that we've used to redirect her. Two biggies we haven't been able to solve..tried turning our back on her or walking away and she lunges at our backs or gets a death hold on socks/pants while you try to do that. Another is she keeps pouncing on faces at odd times, she's even tried to get there from the floor.
I agree with the playtime, it helps and is noticeable difference in calming her down. Its funny, if our cat is along the ball rolling route, kitten will defer to her by stopping dead and lettering the cat have it- which is funny since our cat has zero interest in chasing stuffies or balls (strictly a string chaser lol).

[mawipafl]

catsmom21 gives great advice and tips! another physical cue to over-stimulation besides wide-eye and flicking tail is another tail position (hard to describe, but here goes): at the base it's straight up, but quickly curves downward and the tail hangs to one side or another, and the tail fur may be a little puffed up. To equate it in human terms, think of a toddler who's exhausted and needs a nap, but doesn't want to quit because he/she is having too much fun. Such a toddler is operating on borrowed energy and usually has pink cheeks or pink ears as the visual clue. Same with a young cat -- they just don't know when to quit, and so we have to help them switch gears and rest.

I also thought of two toys that help burn off extra energy in our young cat. One is a laser pointer and the other is a fishing rod.