Relative died within 24 hours of going into a Nursing Home- (Chance or on purpose)? (child, parent)

[Dingler]

Do you ever wonder why so many people who are in a Hospital for a long time are then sent to a Nursing Home seem to die almost right away. Are the Nursing Homes able to use certain types of Drugs that allow the person to die, that are not allowed in Hospitals? This has happened to a number of relatives.

Some where taking drugs for extreme pain that was limited in the Hospital, but unlimited in the Nursing Home. Maybe high doses of Morphine is a form of Mercy Killing.

[Sweden]

I don't know if it has to do with the treatment, but I do know that my grandmother was terrified of them.
She was treated at the hospital for an entire summer before she passed away, and was doing better. But as soon as the nurses and my aunt started talking about sending her to a nursing home, she immideately got worse again. This happened at several occations.
The mere thought of going there was enough for her, even to the point that she "chosed" to die before going to one.

[Pikantari]

The nursing home is only allowed to give a pt what the dr treating them has ordered. When the patients med runs out, they have to call, and get a hard copy RX for the med, if it is a narcotic, such as you are speaking of.

Now, if someone is out there doing mercy killings, that is another thing... this could happen, and people have gone to jail for it. But, in working for a drs office I get calls all day...

Mr... has a rash, we need an order for whatever cream. Mrs. ... hit her arm on the side of her bead, nead an order for an xray. Mrs... urine smells strong, need an order for UA.

They need an order for EVERYTHING. When a patient goes into a nursing home, the employees dont just go all willy nilly and do whatever. They need an order for every single thing, and they have to call and tell of every single thing that happens.

[BlueWillowPlate]

Sometimes it is mind over matter, not drugs, or care-giving.
My mom and her twin took care of their mom, my grandma, for years.
Finally, it became too much.
The night *before* she was supposed to go into a nursing home, grandma died in her sleep.
My mom and aunt felt bad, they did not consider it to be a coincidence.
However, for years before, grandma had said she was actually ready to die, all her friends were gone and her health was not that good. Maybe the thought of the nursing home sort of sent her over the edge, so to speak.
Years after that, my dad's stepmom died, and the very next night, my dad's father died. One simply could not live without the other.

[citybythebay]

I have a very bad attitude towards the 'care' given at a nursing home.

My mother was placed in one because she was on a ventilator.
Towards the end of her life she could not walk much less move around in her bed.
She was very weak and way over medicated most of the time. But yet she had bruises all over her face.??? And not one 'nurse' could explain the reason why.

They had cameras set up in the rooms and my brothers and I discovered they were not in working order!
So we practically went on 24 hr watch after the bruises started to appear hoping to witness it first hand. It never took place when we were there...what a shocker.


My mother died in that hell hole. I made sure that I gave every last one of those so called 'care-givers' a piece of my mind when I went to retrieve her things. It was the principal of the whole matter. And as far as I'm concerned what goes around, comes around in this world.

In my personal experience and after what my mother went through I would have to say that they over medicate some patients to keep them 'quiet'.

**I need to get out of this thread ...it still sickens me to this day the way my mother was treated.**

[tijlover]

Being that I work in one of these places, a number of these "mysterious" bruises can occur from falling, and there's some people who bruise more easily than others. Bear that in mind!

If they do fall in our facility, an incident report must be written out, everything documented. If not documented, and the resident suffered bruising, then, as an aide, I could be blamed for it, rough treatment, elderly abuse, whatever.

Anytime a patient falls, just to protect myself, I demand the nurse do an incident report and document it myself as well, in a skin assessment sheet, if a bruise should occur.

This creates a lot of stress for the caregivers in these facilities, when the family comes to visit. They see bruises, and, so many times, they conclude, without any evidence, their loved ones has been abused, and they view you with suspicion! How comfortable does that make me feel!!!

And anyone that becomes a Fall Risk, we oftentimes attach a tab alert to the resident, to signal the staff that perhaps this person has fallen, or ready to fall. That tab alert siren can be heard all the way to the end of the hall, to the nurses station.

The bad part of tab alerts, is the resident sharing that room, or those in surrounding rooms, get awakened at any time of the night, raising complaints about the noise level!

Back on topic, it's been said, I do believe it strongly, you can will your own death!

[Briolat21]

I think a lot of people that move to nursing homes, are already near the end.

That's why they're moving into "Nursing" homes, and not assisted living, etc..

Usually, its when their health has deteriorated to the point that they can not live alone, or worse - if someone was caring for them -- to the point that they can no longer handle it. That is not a strong healthy person, but a weakened one.

Mental/Emotional happiness seems to play a large part in health .. in general - even to the point of being better able to avoid colds and other seemingly small infectious illnesses. If an already weakened/compromised person is admitted to a nursing home as a "LAST" effort ... probably they are unhappy about it, or even worse - outright terrified/defiant.

All of that seems to often combine with the patient dying soon after being admitted (within a few weeks).

[tijlover]

Myself, I haven't really noticed this, having worked in the same facility for 11 years now, people dying so soon after their arrival. There's residents who have been there the entire 11 years I've been there!

There are those who will always be on automatic pilot, they'll survive no matter what. Or it may be that strong fear of death! Or they've gotten addicted to pain medication and they look forward to those "highs" everyday, who knows! Frequent visits by family/friends can also be a factor. And the hope that some new cure will come along any day now!

There's one true survivor there, and you'd be mystified as to why this person hangs on, given his hopeless condition, being bed ridden for so many years, but there's always some new carrot that dangles in front of their eyes, that keeps them going, like: I want to live long enough to see my first grandchild.
Grandchild born, then? I want to live long enough to see my first great-grandchild!

Having a DNR (Do Not Resucitate) and no DNR can also make a difference.

[Escort Rider]

Originally Posted by BlueWillowPlate

Sometimes it is mind over matter, not drugs, or care-giving.
My mom and her twin took care of their mom, my grandma, for years.
Finally, it became too much.
The night *before* she was supposed to go into a nursing home, grandma died in her sleep.
My mom and aunt felt bad, they did not consider it to be a coincidence.
However, for years before, grandma had said she was actually ready to die, all her friends were gone and her health was not that good. Maybe the thought of the nursing home sort of sent her over the edge, so to speak.
Years after that, my dad's stepmom died, and the very next night, my dad's father died. One simply could not live without the other.

I think you are correct. You have given specific examples from your own experience of something I have read about more than once, namely that some people under some circumstances can "time" their own deaths. Apparently nurses and others who care for the terminally ill witness this with some frequency. An elderly person hangs on, perhaps semi-conscious, when finally a grandson or granddaughter (perhaps attending college thousands of miles away) is able to fly in and visit the elderly patient. The patient perks up, speaks to the grandchild, and dies within hours or maybe the next day. Coincidence? Well, that's possible but I really don't think so.

[Ringo1]

I agree. I read the book written by a variety of hospice nurses and they are convinced that sometimes the dying have more control than we think about exactly when they will die.