Family values / culture in Bend (Portland: houses, neighborhoods, theater)

[alvanos]

Hi,

My wife and have from time to time kicked around the idea of moving to Bend. I have a job where I can work remote (and often do) so this is not an issue.

My question is around family values. I realize this is a loaded question, but let me explain where I am coming from. We currently live in a fairly affluent area in Illinois. We're not talking ultra rich, but affluent enough. It is an area where kids suffer record levels of depression and substance abuse. I don't mean to imply that there are no well adjusted kids here, but the numbers are astonishingly high compared to other demographics.

We are an extremely outdoorsy family and camp, fish, hike, moutain bike, kayak, etc. as much as we can. This is the reason we are looking at Bend (in addition to other cities & states that are friendly to outdoor life). I'm wondering if there is any correlation to being in such places and happier and healthier teenagers (on average)? My kids are still young, btw. Again, obviously there will be drugs and depression in Bend too ... but some places are just out of control with it. I would like to think that an area known for its rich outdoors offerings would result in a different mentality amongst kids, but you never know.

Thanks for any feedback!

[delta07]

Originally Posted by alvanos

Hi,

My wife and have from time to time kicked around the idea of moving to Bend. I have a job where I can work remote (and often do) so this is not an issue.

My question is around family values. I realize this is a loaded question, but let me explain where I am coming from. We currently live in a fairly affluent area in Illinois. We're not talking ultra rich, but affluent enough. It is an area where kids suffer record levels of depression and substance abuse. I don't mean to imply that there are no well adjusted kids here, but the numbers are astonishingly high compared to other demographics.

We are an extremely outdoorsy family and camp, fish, hike, moutain bike, kayak, etc. as much as we can. This is the reason we are looking at Bend (in addition to other cities & states that are friendly to outdoor life). I'm wondering if there is any correlation to being in such places and happier and healthier teenagers (on average)? My kids are still young, btw. Again, obviously there will be drugs and depression in Bend too ... but some places are just out of control with it. I would like to think that an area known for its rich outdoors offerings would result in a different mentality amongst kids, but you never know.

Thanks for any feedback!

I'm not quite sure what you mean by family values, but I'm thinking you are looking for an area where you can do these activities with your kids. In that respect, I will say Bend would be an ideal place. I don't have children myself, but my friends that do, think Bend is a great place to raise kids. Yes, there are drugs and depression like you mentioned, but it's not nearly as prevalent as the mid-west or other areas where there's not much for kids to do besides group sports or getting in trouble.

My husband grew up in a lake state and knows too many friends that had trouble with drugs and depression. He's lost a few, including his own brother to it. I will say that Bend has so much more to offer kids to keep them out of trouble. There are plenty of outdoor activities to do together as a family, but there are also great outdoor opportunities for kids to do with their friends safely.

[alvanos]

Hi delta07, thanks for the response. By family values I was getting at raising children according to altruistic values, vs. materialistic. Emphasis being put on happiness vs. competition, materialism, etc. Again I know that across the world there will be kids that do drugs, but I do think there is a difference when in one society the kids that do drugs are "the black sheep" vs. society where I live where doing drugs is the norm. It's just an unsubstantiated theory on my part (no research went into this) but I would like to think that when kids spend more time outdoors and closer to nature, there is a natural high such that spirts don't need to be lifted by artificial means. Then again, Boulder is an outdoors city with a huge reputation for drug usage, so maybe my theory is wrong. I may never move from where I am (there are good things about the Midwest too) but every now and then we entertain the idea that if we were going to move, where would it be? Bend is one place that always comes up.

[kapetrich]

I would agree with Delta. Although, like her, I do not have any kids.

What I cannnnnn tell you is that MANY families have moved here to raise their kids - for that very reasons entirely, actually. That, or they are newly married, and have choosen Bend to start their family becasuse of the environment, both culturally and environmentally.

There are more things to do here that have to do with outdoors than just about anywhere. That said, your children can slip through 'the cracks' no matter where they are....but some places definitely leave more opportunity for this than others. I'm from Baltimore and my brother became a herion addict. He's clean now and has been for 14 years, but living that close to all that mess leaves greater potential for that outcome.

ANYWAY. Oregon in general speaks to your 'value system'. It is much more communal, less about the hustle and bussle, more about quality of life (especially Bend), less about 'materialism' (it's still America, mind you), less about your job, more about who you are as a person and what you enjoy doing, etc. etc. etc. In fact, one of the main reasons I moved here is because the PNW, and Bend in particular, aligns better with my 'value system' as a whole of which, I'd bet we agree based on your writtings.

Any more specific questions? Have you taken a visit? I'd suggest it....you'd get a better picture. But be warned. Once you visit you'll want to move here. So be careful.

Oh...and you say there are good things about living in the Midwest, too.....ok, I'll give you that, but....what are they exaclty? ppppp

[alvanos]

Thanks kapetrich. Good things about the Midwest? Easy. Diversity. I live in Chicago-land and it is the definition of the world melting pot. Blacks, whites, Indians, Asians, Europeans, all their food, all their music, all their theater and all their traditions. World class museums. The Chicago lake shore path. The great lakes. Vibrant economy. Lots of stuff I love about where I live, probably the reason I haven't taken the plunge to move. I am always cognizant of the "grass is always greener" syndrome. But one thing the Midwest does NOT have ... the outdoors. At least not the way Bend does. Bend is a mecca for this.

I will actually be through Bend this summer. I'll be landing in SF and driving straight to crater lake. then through bend, Portland, and off to Olympic National Forest. Then over to HW101 for the trip back to SF, but not before a stop in redwood national forest. I am excited to see bend.

Question ... there or two neighborhoods that I would be interested in. One is the walkable kind. This is of course the old mill district. the other kind i would like to live in would be a heavily forested area where houses are not lined up like ducks. I don't mind having neighbors, but not all on top of each other. What part of bend would this be?

[Steve Pickering]

You won't find much melting pot in Bend, but I think those in the countryside have higher moral values and ethics than those raised in the city, and it is easy to go country around Bend. I lived for eight years in Portage Indiana so I know your area pretty well. I think you will find Bend to your liking in comparison, but don’t expect ANYTHING like where you are as to terrain or personalities..

[ukiyo-e]

Originally Posted by Steve Pickering

You won't find much melting pot in Bend, but I think those in the countryside have higher moral values and ethics than those raised in the city,

Yeah, especially all those rural tweakers.

[oregonwoodsmoke]

There has fairly recently been a new-ish (within about 15 years) problem in Bend caused by families who move to get their kids away from bad influences and wild friends. They bring the kids to Bend and turn them loose without supervision and the kids just bring the bad behavior with them and cause problems in Bend.

Please don't do that to us. If your kids have behavior issues, moving them to a new place with new friends is not going to solve the problem.

If you want to give your children a lot of structure and keep them busy with outdoor activities, then Bend will probably work for you. Just don't expect to turn your children loose and think they will grow into decent human beings because you have turned them loose in a nice little town.

There is a lot of meth easily available and I hear rumors of heroin. Marijuana is very easy to get because of the medical marijuana laws. If you keep your kids busy and watch who they hang out with, you won't have problems with it, but they can get their hands on it rather easily.

The general atmosphere is that it is a clean living, health conscious, athletic town and there will be peer support for that to help with raising your kids, as long as you make sure they get in with the right crowd.

[oregonwoodsmoke]

Incidentally, if the children are very young and if you can afford the area, the best elementary school is Tumalo Elementary. Tumalo is about 4 miles north of Bend.

The school district is very small, the area is expensive. Parents are actively engaged in education and the students do community service as well as get their standard education.

All the Bend schools are good, as long as parents supervise. The graduation rate for the high schools is not good, but the education offered is perfectly good. It is the parents responsibility to make sure that the child absorbs what is offered, and too many parents don't care.

[Snownut]

Good post oregonwoodsmoke.

As I wrote about in another thread, don't move somewhere to fix your problems, you will just bring them with you.

If however you can move where an environment enhances and nurtures what values and activities you are already are doing or working on, for yourself or your children then go for it!

Good advice I was given for my teens. "keep them busy and broke".

Originally Posted by oregonwoodsmoke

There has fairly recently been a new-ish (within about 15 years) problem in Bend caused by families who move to get their kids away from bad influences and wild friends. They bring the kids to Bend and turn them loose without supervision and the kids just bring the bad behavior with them and cause problems in Bend.

Please don't do that to us. If your kids have behavior issues, moving them to a new place with new friends is not going to solve the problem.

If you want to give your children a lot of structure and keep them busy with outdoor activities, then Bend will probably work for you. Just don't expect to turn your children loose and think they will grow into decent human beings because you have turned them loose in a nice little town.

There is a lot of meth easily available and I hear rumors of heroin. Marijuana is very easy to get because of the medical marijuana laws. If you keep your kids busy and watch who they hang out with, you won't have problems with it, but they can get their hands on it rather easily.

The general atmosphere is that it is a clean living, health conscious, athletic town and there will be peer support for that to help with raising your kids, as long as you make sure they get in with the right crowd.