Anyone with families split betwe Atlanta - AL (Decatur, Dallas: real estate, crime)

[LionT]

Hi, we now reside in Alabama. We have 2 kids in elementary schools, one moving to middle school soon. My husband has a secure job in Alabama, along the Gulf Coast. It's a nice place, but with the kids growing, we are thinking if a more "metro" place, with more facilities (more, better schools, etc) is more suitable. We are thinking of buying a home in Atlanta (for me and kids), while my husband stays in AL to work and commute here every weekend.
Do you think this idea is feasible?

[ccr4tigers]

Would he fly? That is a long, long drive. And even if he flew, there are always delays at ATL airport, especially when taking into account that weather is a factor when coming from the gulf. Having made that flight myself a few times (and being delayed and even cancelled) it is not the best route.

I am wondering what is happening at their schools that is so bad that having a father that is completely absent the whole week is worth the tradeoff. It sounds like these kids are lucky enough to have a family that is still together and willing to sacrifice for their well being. I don't think that better sports facilities would replace that. Also, there must be good schools somewhere closer to you. Further, the school systems in the metro area aren't always the best....you have to be very careful when picking the school. That combined with recent huge budget cuts and increased class size and the new picture seems to be getting more bleak all the time.

If you are in Alabama in the gulf area, are you in Mobile, Orange Beach, Gulf Shores, or.....

And on a personal note....my parents are divorced and my dad was pretty absent for most of my life. While he was a good dad, he wasn't around much for my youth and it was something that always bothered me.

So my advice, for what it is worth, is to find a good school nearby and maybe move to that district and still keep dad at the dinner table. I am sure you already know about schooldigger.com, but that is a good site to find school info.

[LionT]

I know... It's a good 5 hr drive. From here Mobile, AL.
I have 2 boys, and I do want them to bond with their daddy.
We are toying with the idea. I want to find out more abt Atlanta. It's afterall a big decision. We do have good schools here.. but my feel is that it is more laidback, I want the boys to be pushed a bit more. More competition. Not sure if I make sense here?

[lastminutemom]

Think this through a bit more-- how will you manage when each of your children has a different activity at the same time. It means that your husband will miss each and every weekday activity.

Can you spend less on housing and do private school? Also the Destin, FL has good schools -- that might be more manageable.

You will also need to fund two households -- one for you in ATL and somewhere for him to live in Mobile.

[ccr4tigers]

I really don't think that you will find the school you are describing in Atlanta. I have worked in 3 different school systems in the area, and although I am proud of many of the people who I have worked with, there are SERIOUS problems in the system. For example, Atlanta City Schools has real gang, crime and drug problems. I am not saying that aren't some great teachers that still find ways to make learning happen, but I would not trade a laid back system for one where my kids will start being exposed to drugs in 4th grade.

The bottom line is that it is not up to the system to push your kids. There will be just as many kids in the systems around Atlanta that are lazy or without any drive. Unfortunately, so many kids are cut loose at a young age and without any adult mentorship. I think that you will experience the same issues here....coupled with all the stuff that comes with a large metro area.

As much as I am a champion of the public schools, maybe you should take the money it would cost to maintain two households and enroll your kids in an awesome private school.

[RoslynHolcomb]

I would suggest Destin as well, my MIL lives in the area and she says that the schools there are excellent. My husband commuted from Atlanta to Huntsville for three months until we sold our home and it was absolute hell, and Huntsville is only three hours away. We seriously considered doing the same thing, because we love Huntsville, but decided against it. Of course, you have a slight advantage over us in that there's interstate linking the two cities, but still it would be very hard. I would imagine that finding a good private school there in Mobile would be a heckuva lot cheaper than trying to set up an additional household in Atlanta.

[LionT]

Thks guys/ladies. I am in a private school here. One of the top ones. But still, I feel the "complacency" (for lack of a better word). Yes, I will still be looking for private schools in Atlanta (that is if we move). Husband is toying with the idea partly because he wants to put some money into real estate, and Atlanta seems to be a better deal/bet than Mobile after the real estate prices doubled/tripled after Katrina. Not that we are filthy rich or anything.. I'm just wondering about the feasibility of it all. I've known ppl who work in San Antonio, and with family in Dallas, TX, and fly back and forth every weekend.

[uagrad1993]

I agree with CCR4tigers.

I am a teacher and have worked for a local university in the college of Education. Part of my job at the university was to visit local Atlanta schools and "grade" them. I have been in many, many schools in the Atlanta area. I also have family (3 girls, ages 7,9 and 13) who live in Daphne, AL. The mother of the girls, my cousin, teaches in the schools in Daphne. From comparing our stories of teaching, there is NO WAY I would choose schools in Atlanta over the schools she describes. I do not have children of my own, but when I do decide to have children will be the time I move AWAY from Atlanta.

You also mention real estate in a subsequent post. So, I'm not sure if your motive is different schools or real estate, but either way I think it would be a move in the wrong direction.

Just my opinion. Good luck with whatever you choose!

Oh, and after about 5 weekends of navigating the Atlanta airport, he'll be over the hassle!!

[Iconographer]

Have you given Baldwin County a shot? The Eastern Shore communities of Fairhope and Daphne seem particularly nice to me. I have an old friend in Fairhope and a cousin in Daphne and they sing the praises of that area all the time.

[LionT]

Thks for your replies. Yes, LovinDecatur, pple who live in Baldwin never stop singing praises abt Daphne. Anyway, thks for all the comments, will consider seriously.