Teen and Unplanned Pregnancies: Adoption Plans, Safe Havens, and Prevention Efforts (first time, birth mother)
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I'll be honest and say that I too don't quite understand this bit:
LOL! I must've been typing too fast. If a woman changes her mind during the rescind period/time to revoke period, then she did not want to plan for adoption. There were likely other circumstances that were at play.
Your statement below clearly shows you are not for more womens' choice as you would have the reader believe in your subsequent posts, but for limiting new mother's choices.
If she is choosing adoption. We are talking about relinquishment of infants, not older children. I made that very clear here:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaded
If the plan to relinquish occurs before birth, then so should the paper signing. Holding and caring for a baby in the hospital after birth is in no way a measurement of extended and long term parentng. This would explain why some mothers make the decision after they are knee-deep in parenting and realize they cannot or do not want to do it. In these situations, obviously the relinquishment happens after birth and hence, the signing of the paperwork.
Ahh, nice try. You've already made it known that you were aware on the breastfeeding thread. But it's not a big deal. My infertility, or infertility in general for that matter, has nothing to do with this topic.
If she is choosing adoption. We are talking about relinquishment of infants, not older children. I made that very clear here:
I never said anything about older children, nor did you in your paragraph below. I know that we are talking about the relinquishment of infants. As I said above, in your subsequent posts, you clearly are taking the stance that you are for allowing women to have more choices, to even sign before birth. Your statement bolded below is not indicative of a stance which grants more choice but much less, and is the direct opposite of allowing MORE choice for women.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaded
For the birthmother, is she aware of the pain she will feel afterwards and the time it may take her to accept her decision? And, yes, make the plan before the birth of the child. Because if she changes her mind afterwards, then she really never wanted to plan for an adoption in the first place. This indicates her being uncomfortable with the decision. One's mind about relinquishment should be made prior to the child being born IMO. Because if she felt unfit or unable to care for the baby prior to birth, then how would the birth of the child change this? How have her circumstances changed during the course of the pregnancy to bring about this difference?
LOL! I must've been typing too fast. If a woman changes her mind during the rescind period/time to revoke period, then she did not want to plan for adoption. There were likely other circumstances that were at play.
Does this clear up what you are referring to?
But that is not necessarily a valid statement. A pregnant woman can make a tentative plan not to parent, and there's also a thing called 'life happens' that changes a plan into yesterday's news. Why do you think so many women make adoption plans that never come to fruition? Perhaps it's because sucky plan to relinquish is replaced by the wonderful reality that a new mother has new circumstances which permit her to parent her infant?
For the birthmother, is she aware of the pain she will feel afterwards and the time it may take her to accept her decision? And, yes, make the plan before the birth of the child. Because if she changes her mind afterwards, then she really never wanted to plan for an adoption in the first place. This indicates her being uncomfortable with the decision. One's mind about relinquishment should be made prior to the child being born IMO. Because if she felt unfit or unable to care for the baby prior to birth, then how would the birth of the child change this? How have her circumstances changed during the course of the pregnancy to bring about this difference?
Why do you automatically think that the birthmom's motivation for choosing adoption is that she thinks she is unfit or unable to care for her child? Yes, circumstances absolutely can change during the course of the pregnancy (9 months).
Why do you automatically think that the birthmom's motivation for choosing adoption is that she thinks she is unfit or unable to care for her child? Yes, circumstances absolutely can change during the course of the pregnancy (9 months).
It appears Jaded has completely discounted the pregnant women who WANT to parent but don't think they are able to do so at the time of making a tentative adoption plan.
For the birthmother, is she aware of the pain she will feel afterwards and the time it may take her to accept her decision? And, yes, make the plan before the birth of the child. Because if she changes her mind afterwards, then she really never wanted to plan for an adoption in the first place. This indicates her being uncomfortable with the decision. One's mind about relinquishment should be made prior to the child being born IMO. Because if she felt unfit or unable to care for the baby prior to birth, then how would the birth of the child change this? How have her circumstances changed during the course of the pregnancy to bring about this difference?
Why do you automatically think that the birthmom's motivation for choosing adoption is that she thinks she is unfit or unable to care for her child? Yes, circumstances absolutely can change during the course of the pregnancy (9 months).
Quote:
Originally Posted by Avery_Harper
It appears Jaded has completely discounted the pregnant women who WANT to parent but don't think they are able to do so at the time of making a tentative adoption plan.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Avery_Harper
But that is not necessarily a valid statement. A pregnant woman can make a tentative plan not to parent, and there's also a thing called 'life happens' that changes a plan into yesterday's news. Why do you think so many women make adoption plans that never come to fruition? Perhaps it's because sucky plan to relinquish is replaced by the wonderful reality that a new mother has new circumstances which permit her to parent her infant?
The themes here imply babies are basically being stolen from their birth mothers or birth mothers are being taken advantage of and coerced into an adoption.
At any rate, I see no problem with pre-birth consent or with states that have this law. I just don't.
Jaded, I would appreciate it if you would take another look at what I said about ethics. Again, you are stating that since your opinion is that it is ethical, then it must be so.
My opinion has nothing to do with pre-birth consent being ethical. Here is the definition of unethical.
So you still believe this is immoral, sinful, dark, evil... or other synonyms used in the above link? Or do you just disagree with the practice?
Did you ever take a college ethics class? I don't really care to waste my breath, quite frankly. You have made it perfectly clear that you have no interest in benefiting from the experience of others far more familiar with adoption than you. Now I find I'm having to explain the basics of ethics, which is just ridiculous.
Again. Laws do not define ethics. There are many unethical behaviors that are perfectly legal. Ethics go far beyond that, and it's just silly not to recognize that basic fact. Ethics exist in all aspects
of life. Political ethics. Work ethics. Marriage ethics. Adoption ethics. Now you are saying your opinion on if something is right or not does not have to with ethics. Of course it does! That's ethics!
Last edited by tiffjoy; 04-01-2013 at 09:55 PM..
Reason: Fixed link
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