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Are you sure all of them are the problem and not you? In my experience, when one person has a problem with many others, it is usually the one everybody can't stand that is the problem, not the myriad others.
I can't say that is the case here, but that is typically the case.
In any event, don't go to the wedding. Nothing good can come of it. Have somebody record it and watch it on tape. Send them a nice card and wedding gift.
If they threaten violence, the major problem IS the brother-in-law. He has serious issues.
And yes, in consideration of the niece, the OP should stay away. That would be one of his wedding presents.
My brother in law has threatened to beat me up twice after many years of verbal abuse.This time he went on a 30-40 minute tirade and had me up against a glass door. My sister defended him and told me to leave. I was not harmed but my blood pressure put me in the hospital. There have been various other actions against me which have caused me mental and financial harm.
Their daughter, my niece, knows I am not speaking to them but I have not told her why. Now she is getting married and I want to attend her wedding. I'm afraid it will be a hornet's nest since various family friends have been turned against me as I have remained silent about what happened and they are apparently denigrating me. How do I handle this?
Your niece's wedding is not about you or what you want.
It's about your niece having the best day possible.
That means, no fisticuffs, shouting, or disharmony.
My brother in law has threatened to beat me up twice after many years of verbal abuse.This time he went on a 30-40 minute tirade and had me up against a glass door. My sister defended him and told me to leave. I was not harmed but my blood pressure put me in the hospital. There have been various other actions against me which have caused me mental and financial harm.
Their daughter, my niece, knows I am not speaking to them but I have not told her why. Now she is getting married and I want to attend her wedding. I'm afraid it will be a hornet's nest since various family friends have been turned against me as I have remained silent about what happened and they are apparently denigrating me. How do I handle this?
You don't mention what started all of this, I'm assuming there is more to this story. Hard to help when we're only getting a glimpse of the whole picture. You mentioned the verbal abuse has gone on for years, the daughter is old enough to marry, so we're assuming this has been an ongoing thing every time you get around them. it doesn't make sense, unless a long time ago something happened that the husband has yet to forgive. He obviously doesn't want you around them, and your sister takes his side as well.
What is the verbal abuse about? Does he not like your lifestyle? Are you on drugs? Alcoholic? We have no clue why the brother in law would treat you this way unless something pretty bad happened, and you must know what it is.
If it really "comes to blows" then you should stay away from the wedding so as not to provoke anything, this is all about the niece, not Daddy or Uncle. Send a card and a gift but tactfully decline.
Thanks for the advice. Yes, I received an invitation and my niece wants me there. We have been very close through the years. I have taken her on vacations. We text once or twice a week and she sends me memes and posts she thinks I would like.
If she hadn’t asked me multiple times, I would not even consider going - I don’t need the stress.
I feel that if I don’t attend, it will upset her.
Some friends familiar with the situation say I should attend the ceremony, then make a short appearance at the reception.
Perhaps you should text the niece, tell her that her father isn't going to be happy if you attend, that you don't want her wedding to be disrupted in anyway, and is she sure that she wants you there. If she says yes, then make sure you stay as far away from your BIL as possible.
Thanks for the advice. Yes, I received an invitation and my niece wants me there. We have been very close through the years. I have taken her on vacations. We text once or twice a week and she sends me memes and posts she thinks I would like.
If she hadn’t asked me multiple times, I would not even consider going - I don’t need the stress.
I feel that if I don’t attend, it will upset her.
Actually I know - I don’t want to cause her any distress. If your uncle doesn’t come to your wedding, wouldn’t that be hurtful?
What did she say when you asked her that.
You seem reluctant to speak with someone you say you are close to....
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