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Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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Sooo.......it was probably too good to be true that I didn't have any drama or bad feedback about our "untraditional" wedding....until now for pete's sakes & I kinda feel like I was slapped. I had 1 of my good friends call me today to talk A N D to tell me that she was so surprised she hadn't been asked to stand up in our wedding.....because I was a bridesmaid in hers a couple of yrs ago. I explained that we are not having a traditional wedding.......she already knew.....& there isn't going to be a church or a bridal party or stuff she has to do or buy for it but it's still so super important to me she come ofc. I was a little confused because she already knew & I'm not havng A N Y bridal party......it's not like I just left her out. She said she was hurt & then went on to say hurtful stuff to me about my relationship...it makes me feel like it was an excuse to tell me what was on her mind.....
Should I ignore it since the wedding is so far away & just take for granted it will go away......or should I wait for an apology & don't even invite her if she never apologizes???????????????? I've been friends with her since the 8th grade.........thank you!
Sooo.......it was probably too good to be true that I didn't have any drama or bad feedback about our "untraditional" wedding....until now for pete's sakes & I kinda feel like I was slapped. I had 1 of my good friends call me today to talk A N D to tell me that she was so surprised she hadn't been asked to stand up in our wedding.....because I was a bridesmaid in hers a couple of yrs ago. I explained that we are not having a traditional wedding.......she already knew.....& there isn't going to be a church or a bridal party or stuff she has to do or buy for it but it's still so super important to me she come ofc. I was a little confused because she already knew & I'm not havng A N Y bridal party......it's not like I just left her out. She said she was hurt & then went on to say hurtful stuff to me about my relationship...it makes me feel like it was an excuse to tell me what was on her mind.....
Should I ignore it since the wedding is so far away & just take for granted it will go away......or should I wait for an apology & don't even invite her if she never apologizes???????????????? I've been friends with her since the 8th grade.........thank you!
Wow, that sucks! I'm so sorry that happened.
Tell you what I'd do, I wouldn't invite her, but...LOL...most of my wedding cost is sunk into the food, and uh...it's priced per person. So the fewer people I have to feed, the less I have to spend to do it.
I mean criminy, YOUR wedding day isn't about her, it isn't about scorekeeping and "proving" your friendship and if she is gonna flip out and say nasty things to you, I would not easily forgive that. Your wedding is about what you want, not about what she wants.
I mean, I've had people say, "Oh well you simply have to do thus-and-such" but as far as I'm concerned I don't have to do a damn thing if I don't want to. Well, my fiance and I both anyways. It is our money, time, effort, and all going into this. No one else is going to step up and plan this or help me coordinate or make this happen. But no one I know would go so far as to be hurtful. A bit surprised maybe, but not hurtful, or critical of my relationship. Ugh.
...it makes me feel like it was an excuse to tell me what was on her mind.....
I bet your instincts are pretty accurate.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh
Should I ignore it since the wedding is so far away & just take for granted it will go away......or should I wait for an apology & don't even invite her if she never apologizes????????????????
You've known her a long time. How often do you communicate? It seems like if you were truly close, this wouldn't have come out of nowhere?
If you ignore and don't invite, whatever relationship there was most likely will be lost.
We talk on the phone kinda regularly.....but I haven't seen her as much as I used to when I lived in Torrance.
I'm closer to other old friends........but I still think of her as a good childhood friend............or did. I don't really know how I feel now.
There's always one person that gets a stick up their butt. That's why my hub and I went to Florida to Cypress Gardens by ourselves because I had a best friend that wanted to stand up for me. She screwed me over for my 2nd marriage so I had another great friend do it. My friend wasn't getting a 3rd time to screw me over. My 1st marriage was my oldest best friend
No wedding party means just that. How does she think it means no wedding party except her. Don't let her ruin what your day is supposed to be about; you and your fiance getting married. It's about you 2, no one else. If she has an issue with it, it's her problem, not yours.
I'd send an invite when you send the rest, the ball is then in her court. Even if you don't speak to her until you send invites. You'd be offering that olive branch. If she doesn't take it, you have your answer. Your not friends any more...
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,607,814 times
Reputation: 7618
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roselvr
There's always one person that gets a stick up their butt. That's why my hub and I went to Florida to Cypress Gardens by ourselves because I had a best friend that wanted to stand up for me. She screwed me over for my 2nd marriage so I had another great friend do it. My friend wasn't getting a 3rd time to screw me over. My 1st marriage was my oldest best friend
No wedding party means just that. How does she think it means no wedding party except her. Don't let her ruin what your day is supposed to be about; you and your fiance getting married. It's about you 2, no one else. If she has an issue with it, it's her problem, not yours.
I'd send an invite when you send the rest, the ball is then in her court. Even if you don't speak to her until you send invites. You'd be offering that olive branch. If she doesn't take it, you have your answer. Your not friends any more...
Thank you......good advice IMO............
All my other friends have been super supportive.......& I thought she was too until yesterday............
Sooo.......it was probably too good to be true that I didn't have any drama or bad feedback about our "untraditional" wedding....until now for pete's sakes & I kinda feel like I was slapped. I had 1 of my good friends call me today to talk A N D to tell me that she was so surprised she hadn't been asked to stand up in our wedding.....because I was a bridesmaid in hers a couple of yrs ago. I explained that we are not having a traditional wedding.......she already knew.....& there isn't going to be a church or a bridal party or stuff she has to do or buy for it but it's still so super important to me she come ofc. I was a little confused because she already knew & I'm not havng A N Y bridal party......it's not like I just left her out. She said she was hurt & then went on to say hurtful stuff to me about my relationship...it makes me feel like it was an excuse to tell me what was on her mind.....
Should I ignore it since the wedding is so far away & just take for granted it will go away......or should I wait for an apology & don't even invite her if she never apologizes???????????????? I've been friends with her since the 8th grade.........thank you!
If she is a very good friend of you, she will apologize and understand what you want... She wanted something that you didn't. She is wrong. Give her few days or a week to calm down and maybe later talk again about this.
True friends understand and accept everything
If she is a very good friend of you, she will apologize and understand what you want... She wanted something that you didn't. She is wrong. Give her few days or a week to calm down and maybe later talk again about this.
True friends understand and accept everything
I agree. I bet that she was just having a very, very bad day and took it out on you.
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