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Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MPowering1
If you're looking at what's customary - the groom dancing with your mother and not his step-mother is not customary and seems like a passive-aggressive way to slight her.
There are other ways to honor his mom - the dance doesn't allow any way to honor her and this doesn't seem to be a good way to start your relationship with his fathers second wife.
I have a good relationship with his dad & wife tho...... & she would still be honored too by dancing with his dad. I really don't think she is comfortable with dancing with my groom in that spotlight anyways. They haven't been married long & she knows she isn't his mom..........
I don't have to do what is customary.....we are not having a traditional wedding.......but I'm not going to take away my first dance with my groom. That's 1 of the few traditional things we will do.......& wedding cake.......
The question about honoring his mom isn't related to what we do about the dancing tho..........
If you're looking at what's customary - the groom dancing with your mother and not his step-mother is not customary and seems like a passive-aggressive way to slight her.
There are other ways to honor his mom - the dance doesn't allow any way to honor her and this doesn't seem to be a good way to start your relationship with his fathers second wife.
I agree. As a new DIL you don't want to insult your new MIL (and probably FIL, too) at your wedding reception.
If you want to include your mother, than have her walk with you down the aisle with your father on one side and her on the other. I've seen several brides do this to honor both parents.
This whole dance thing is a very bad idea and those of us more seasoned are trying to caution you so you avoid trouble down the line. You can get along with her just fine, but this will be perceived as a slight and may change your relationship with her.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MPowering1
If you want to include your mother, than have her walk with you down the aisle with your father on one side and her on the other. I've seen several brides do this to honor both parents.
It's not a traditonal wedding........there won't be a bridal procession...or a bridal party......
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MPowering1
Okay, but that doesn't mean you can't find a more appropriate way to honor your mother. The dance isn't a way to honor her either.
Oh...there is nothing inappropriate about my mom dancing with my groom while I dance with my dad........ It's traditional at many weddings before or after the groom dances with his mom.........it's just that we won't have that part........so we need to honor his mom in a special way..............
she won't be my MIL because she isn't the groom's mother......and she's not looking to be IMO. She asked I call her by her 1st name........
She's a very nice lady that doesn't want that spotlight.....but if she wants to....ofc....it's not up to me.......
Trust me (I am a very seasoned 67 year old), she will be your MIL because she is married to your FIL. In most marriages (not all, but most) it is the wife that handles the social calendar and handles the gift giving and handles the decisions on how much interaction with the grandchildren and many more things (perhaps even planning things like Medical POA and wills).
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,619,951 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626
Trust me (I am a very seasoned 67 year old), she will be your MIL because she is married to your FIL. In most marriages (not all, but most) it is the wife that handles the social calendar and handles the gift giving and handles the decisions on how much interaction with the grandchildren and many more things (perhaps even planning things like Medical POA and wills).
You don't want to ever **** off your future MIL.
I don't plan on upsetting her.....& that means I won't call her my MIL or "mom" because she requested I don't....
Wills are not a worry.....his dad's money is his dad's money....or hers.......I don't know what that has to do with my groom dancing with my mom at our wedding tho.........
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It's traditional at many weddings before or after the groom dances with his mom.........it's just that we won't have that part........so we need to honor his mom in a special way..............
Trust me (I am a very seasoned 67 year old), she will be your MIL because she is married to your FIL. In most marriages (not all, but most) it is the wife that handles the social calendar and handles the gift giving and handles the decisions on how much interaction with the grandchildren and many more things (perhaps even planning things like Medical POA and wills). 
