Post wedding - out of town guest drama (relationship, guy, friends)
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Can't say I've had that happen and I will say that is a bit strange. Maybe the relative is jealous the spotlight isn't on them or perhaps they heard some rumors that obviously weren't true that they believe that affect their view of the bride and groom? Perhaps if the travel expenses to attend the wedding all came from their wallet, they are a bit bitter about it, or felt maybe some money or extra accomodation should have been offered. Maybe they wanted to be more recognized among the other guests for some reason. There is no way to know why they acted the way they did unless they are willing to discuss it, which they aren't.
Whoever reaches out to them, try to start by thanking them for attending the wedding. The least you can do here even if they were rude about it. Then perhaps say, "We're sorry if we did or said something that offended you. Please let us know what's going on and how we can make this right because you seemed upset and we were hoping to talk to you a bit longer since you traveled such a long way." Maybe they will open up about it. If they don't then it's oh well...if they're not going to say what's wrong and act rudely in the manner than they did then it might be best to simply let it go and don't bother contacting them. After all, we can't make people act a certain way or apologize for their actions.
Well, the OP said the travelers are unwilling to discuss it. Not a lot one can do about THAT. However, they're apparently talking to OTHER people about it, so maybe OP could talk to THOSE people, and see if they can glean any information that would shed some light.
Maybe since they travelled so far, they felt 'left out' of some of the celebration. Or maybe the invite to the wedding rehearsal got lost...heck, who knows.
Oh God, there is always something wrong, there is always someone who feels slighted no matter what.
It amazes me the things people get upset over, especially when it comes to weddings.
While in line at Target the other day, I overheard a woman complaining to her friend about an upcoming wedding she was invited to. She was angry that she was not invited to the rehearsal dinner. Her friend tried telling her the rehearsal dinner was typically for the wedding party, and maybe out of town guests. The woman replied back “Then why did [the bride’s brother] get invited? He’s not from out of town! He’s not in the wedding party! Neither are her parents, I bet they’ll be there too.”
She then went on to say how the bride was a complete b*tch for not inviting her, and if the bride didn’t want her at the rehearsal dinner, then she just wouldn’t go to the wedding either. She wasn’t even going to tell the bride she changed her mind about attending the wedding, because somehow she thought “that’ll show her”.
It was probably one of the craziest rants I had ever over heard. What random wedding guest gets that angry over not being invited to the rehearsal dinner??? I really wanted to turn around and be like “It’s the REHEARSAL dinner for those who were at the wedding REHEARSAL! It’s not your opportunity to get a free meal out of the groom’s parents.”
Oh God, there is always something wrong, there is always someone who feels slighted no matter what. If I had to do it all over again I wouldn't. Take the money I spent on wedding go on a nicer vacation. Or new furniture or savings. Or car, really needed a newer car then. My parents actually offered me cash money to not have a wedding and I turned it down, stupid.
Really? Your parents sound like hopeless romantics and overall very optimistic people. Do they get along with your husband?
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sundaydrive00
It amazes me the things people get upset over, especially when it comes to weddings.
Ita....about any event or party. That's why IMO.......you have to do it the way you want to do it.......& real friends & family support you in it. I'm lucky I haven't had anybody question me why I am not having a bridal party at our wedding......rehearsal dinner.....& all that stuff..........
Our daughter got married about 6 months ago. A relative from west coast was invited and came to the wedding. They were invited to the rehearsal dinner and did not come. They did not go through the receiving line at the ceremony to congratulate the couple. They came late and left the reception early without saying goodbye to anyone outside of those at their table.
They are now claiming they were made to feel unwelcome and no longer speaking to bride or us. My husband spoke to them for a few minutes at the reception and we greeted them at the ceremony. They are saying all kinds of hateful things that are just not true and are unwilling to discuss it.
Anyone else with a similar problem? With 150 guests it is quite difficult to make one couple feel special. By the time wedding duties were done, they were gone.
Jay
The only couple who should feel special is the couple getting married.
Some folks aren't happy unless they're miserable and complaining about something. Don't waste time worrying about what they're saying - everyone more than likely knows it's untrue anyway.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MPowering1
The only couple who should feel special is the couple getting married.
It's not that the couple should feel special IMO.....tho ofc they do.....but the purpose of a wedding is for everyone to celebrate & have a good time.....& not mope about themselves.......
I keep having people tell me that I simply MUST do this or have that at my wedding. I'm tired of it. This shindig is already gonna cost an arm and a leg, which wasn't really what my fiance or I wanted when we first started thinking about getting married. But we had a cool idea, and then it was just too cool an idea to let go of, and it's taken on a life of its own... We'll make the money work, but yeah. It's already more than what we wanted to spend.
That matters, though. Because people might get fussy that we aren't planning to have groomsmen and bridesmaids and a rehearsal and dinner and so on and so forth. Our officiant is probably going to be arriving on a plane that morning, and frankly I want her to just...be herself. Say whatever feels right to her. Because she is a famous person (in certain circles) and I love how she talks no matter what she's talking about, she could be serious or silly, it wouldn't matter.
I've got family flying in, and I've had to explain to them that the weekend following the wedding, I won't really have time for them because my fiance and I will be at a convention. Think of it as an immediate honeymoon for us...but I told them if they wanted to arrive sooner I could spend some time with them prior to the wedding. I know that my Mom will be upset that I don't have more time and attention to give her. I can only imagine that some of the people we know might get mad that we're having a cash bar. But my fiance and I don't drink at all, and again, the food and all is costing a lot! We can't do more affordable food because the venue (which is central to our plans) requires that they be the ones doing all the catering. So.
I think that part of what I worry about, is that I am the kind of person who feels a need to be on top of everything, planning and executing everything to perfection, making sure everyone is having a good time and all. I keep having to remind myself that this event is supposed to be about me and my guy and if it's wonderful and special for us, then nobody else's opinions really matter that much.
"I can't wait to see your Goth wedding!"
It's not going to be a goth wedding. Sorry to let you down.
"You need a signature cocktail!"
Nope. Himself and I do not drink, and we don't care. Skip the champagne, or sparkling whatever, too.
"You really should set up a wedding registry."
I don't think so. We don't need a pile of stuff, we're trying to downsize. People should give us lottery tickets.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,580,042 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork
I keep having people tell me that I simply MUST do this or have that at my wedding. I'm tired of it. This shindig is already gonna cost an arm and a leg, which wasn't really what my fiance or I wanted when we first started thinking about getting married. But we had a cool idea, and then it was just too cool an idea to let go of, and it's taken on a life of its own... We'll make the money work, but yeah. It's already more than what we wanted to spend.
That matters, though. Because people might get fussy that we aren't planning to have groomsmen and bridesmaids and a rehearsal and dinner and so on and so forth. Our officiant is probably going to be arriving on a plane that morning, and frankly I want her to just...be herself. Say whatever feels right to her. Because she is a famous person (in certain circles) and I love how she talks no matter what she's talking about, she could be serious or silly, it wouldn't matter.
I've got family flying in, and I've had to explain to them that the weekend following the wedding, I won't really have time for them because my fiance and I will be at a convention. Think of it as an immediate honeymoon for us...but I told them if they wanted to arrive sooner I could spend some time with them prior to the wedding. I know that my Mom will be upset that I don't have more time and attention to give her. I can only imagine that some of the people we know might get mad that we're having a cash bar. But my fiance and I don't drink at all, and again, the food and all is costing a lot! We can't do more affordable food because the venue (which is central to our plans) requires that they be the ones doing all the catering. So.
I think that part of what I worry about, is that I am the kind of person who feels a need to be on top of everything, planning and executing everything to perfection, making sure everyone is having a good time and all. I keep having to remind myself that this event is supposed to be about me and my guy and if it's wonderful and special for us, then nobody else's opinions really matter that much.
"I can't wait to see your Goth wedding!"
It's not going to be a goth wedding. Sorry to let you down.
"You need a signature cocktail!"
Nope. Himself and I do not drink, and we don't care. Skip the champagne, or sparkling whatever, too.
"You really should set up a wedding registry."
I don't think so. We don't need a pile of stuff, we're trying to downsize. People should give us lottery tickets.
It's awesome you are planning your wedding on your terms.......we are too. BUT I don't see it as just about me & my groom....I see it about sharing a celebrating with our loved ones & friends.....& IMO most guests see it as that too.....or they probably wouldn't be our friends anyways. I just can't even imagine a guest causing drama.....or making it about them like for O.P. It's kinda like a small child........& jealousies that surface when somebody sees somebody else is happy & so they have to create dramas or think they can tell somebody else what to do for their wedding...or even who to marry! So sry you are having friends do this to you. I'd have a talk with my friend if I was you.......or have a friend that isn't doing it talk to the friend or family member that is..........or your groom could if it's somebody on his side. If you are tired of it.....you or your guy can do something about it IMO...........
A N D don't forget to laugh & cherish what's the most important....the love you found. That's good medicine for any ills IMO....
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So sry you are having friends do this to you. I'd have a talk with my friend if I was you.......or have a friend that isn't doing it talk to the friend or family member that is..........or your groom could if it's somebody on his side. If you are tired of it.....you or your guy can do something about it IMO...........
