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I would get a flattering dress that fit, as similar to the monstrosity as possible, and wear it. If questioned, "Oops, the original dress got a horrible rip/zipper broke/etc" at the last minute and "Luckily I had this dress in my closet."
Remember it is easier to get forgiveness than permission. Of course, you may be called upon to produce the damaged goods, so be prepared.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 16 days ago)
35,665 posts, read 18,029,124 times
Reputation: 50706
You know her well. Since you suspect she is actually trying to make you look unattractive in this dress, it's time to draw the line.
I think I'd contact her and say the cost to alter the dress to allow it to zip up is more expensive than the dress itself, and you're not willing to do that. And then tell her you hope she still wants you as a bridesmaid, and you'll choose a dress yourself in a similar color as the one she chose.
I think we're all dying to see the dress. ;D There are some dresses that are unquestionably horrible, and some that are a matter of taste.
I still don't see what age has to do with it. People don't have to restructure their weddings based around their age. I don't care if it's a ninety year old Grandma getting married. The OP is complaining because she doesn't like the dress and it doesn't fit, so she should have stuck to that. Instead she chose to make this an age issue. She mentions the age several times in her post, actually.
It is still fairly common that brides choose the color and style of gown that their bridesmaids wear. That's pretty traditional. It doesn't matter if someone is 45 years old.
It's not just her age. It's the fact that there is only 1 attendant. The dress doesn't have to fit multiple body types, or please several people, or be matchy-matchy with other dresses. There is 1 person. That opens far more possibilities. Plus, by 45, we should be over caring about stuff that doesn't matter. you missed the point.
Ugly is one thing. Ill-fitting is another especially if it won't even zip.
My daughter picked nice dresses that all four girls liked and then they ordered them online and out of four attendants only one bothered to get it fitted properly. Of the other three, one was way too small and looked poured into it and ready to bounce out while the other two girls were very petite and looked like they were playing dress-up with bodices that were generically made for more endowed women. It was not a nice look for any of them or as an overall wedding party.
Regardless of how the dress is styled if it doesn't at least fit decently the bride will forever have ugly, expensive pictures to prove it.
Ugly is one thing. Ill-fitting is another especially if it won't even zip.
My daughter picked nice dresses that all four girls liked and then they ordered them online and out of four attendants only one bothered to get it fitted properly. Of the other three, one was way too small and looked poured into it and ready to bounce out while the other two girls were very petite and looked like they were playing dress-up with bodices that were generically made for more endowed women. It was not a nice look for any of them or as an overall wedding party.
Regardless of how the dress is styled if it doesn't at least fit decently the bride will forever have ugly, expensive pictures to prove it.
When I was a bridesmaid, the bride picked the material and then we all had the dresses made, so of course we were sized first and the dresses fit perfectly.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jego914
Thanks everyone for the great advice! Waiting to her back from the bride.
You are playing these ridiculous games and you are 45? Are you sure you even want to attend the wedding? If you do , just buy a dress that is somewhat similar in style/color to what she sent you. Then take a picture and just tell your friend that this what you will wear. If she does not agree, just forget the whole idea and don't go...
I would just tell her that the seamstress can't do anything with it and you and she can go dress shopping together, or at the very least, you have to be there when she orders a dress since she doesn't know your measurements.
I got married for the 2nd time @ 36 … and I said the color was black and I let my girls pick the dresses they wanted.
I didn't want to deal with people feeling uncomfortable nor feeling the dress was too expensive or something. The way I did it, I knew everyone was going to be happy.
I still don't see what age has to do with it. People don't have to restructure their weddings based around their age. I don't care if it's a ninety year old Grandma getting married. The OP is complaining because she doesn't like the dress and it doesn't fit, so she should have stuck to that. Instead she chose to make this an age issue. She mentions the age several times in her post, actually.
It is still fairly common that brides choose the color and style of gown that their bridesmaids wear. That's pretty traditional. It doesn't matter if someone is 45 years old.
Age matters b/c the dress should be appropriate. A frilly prom type dress a 16 year old would wear wouldn't be suitable for a 45 year old. Also, everyone ages differently @ 45, perhaps OP doesn't feel comfortable showing skin or whatever. Not all 40-somethings do … women's bodies change.
In multiple bridesmaid weddings, I really like the new trend of the bride picking the color and then the bridesmaids each pick the dress they like/feel is flattering to them.
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