Compare yourself to your parents - same age you are now
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My mother had me at age 39, with daughters ages 15 and 19. The oldest was already married.
When I was the same age, 39, in the same number of months as she was when she had me, I intentionally looked over at the passenger seat while driving alone and imagined ME having a new baby there.
She worked, but not in a professional, long term job. I had a great career, retired with 35 years in the public sector that provides me with a good retirement income.
She was a smoker, I am not.
I have one stent in my heart, she had two.
She drank wine every day (not excessive) and I am a teetotaler.
She had two children, I had one.
She was married twice, three times (never again on my last husband!) for me.
She had a reasonable retirement income thanks to her husbands, mine exceeds what she had and came from my own work.
My stepfather had three natural children. Only one, his son and the oldest, had or will ever have children. He has one daughter. His son's estranged wife gave him very little time with his granddaughter. My wife, to her everlasting credit, gave my mother and stepfather the full "grandparent" treatment. Her parents, both with second spouses, were also all doting grandparents. My wife and I will never be in an analogous position since we are celebrating our thirty-third anniversary today. I older son, 28, just moved in with his girlfriend. I expect grandchildren in maybe five years or so. We will be a reversion to the old "normal" and look forward to it.
Have not thought about comparing myself to my parents, until now.
Mother was great, made it the 5th grade, died at 75. Father not so great, made to the 3rd grade, died at 93. They lived modestly and never seemed to have any financial problems. I would guess their net worth peaked at a few hundred K but was nothing left when father finally passed away. Mother had cancer, in remission, never suffered. Father seemed physically healthy all of his life, but emotionally and mentally not so healthy.
Compare with myself, former wife, and three kids. All made it through graduate school. 4 PhDs in the family, numerous other degrees ( one of my kids has five college degrees). All of us are quite wealthy by comparison to my parents. And yet we all live comfortably and modestly ( except that I am less frugal than the others, but donate much more to charity ).
Bottom line is, America has truly been the land of opportunity for us.
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