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On an impulse i invited a couple over who live in the neighborhood. They are very nice, we enjoy talking with them when we meet them on our walks, like I did, or see them at town events. I am a bit out of practice in having just a couple over who are not also good friends we have known for a long while. We just dont entertain as we did once, and those were parties with close friends and lots of food. I am wondering if I should serve coffee and cake or wine and cheese or both. What time afternoon or evening? I know this sounds stupid but I am a bit nervous.
Please give me some suggestions. Plan help plan my “event.” What would you do?
On an impulse i invited a couple over who live in the neighborhood. They are very nice, we enjoy talking with them when we meet them on our walks, like I did, or see them at town events. I am a bit out of practice in having just a couple over who are not also good friends we have known for a long while. We just dont entertain as we did once, and those were parties with close friends and lots of food. I am wondering if I should serve coffee and cake or wine and cheese or both. What time afternoon or evening? I know this sounds stupid but I am a bit nervous.
Please give me some suggestions. Plan help plan my “event.” What would you do?
Why not tell them you'd like to invite them for a visit. Ask what time of day might suit them best for a get together and for how long (sit down visit for coffee/tea, wine & cheese, watch a movie or sports, dessert, etc.). That could help you decide what to serve. IMHO, starting off simply would be best. An elaborate production for people you don't know well might feel awkward. Reciprocity and all that. If the conversation takes off and you enjoy the get together, something a little more involved later makes sense. Or not. You might mutually realize you don't have that much in common. No harm, no foul.
Last edited by Parnassia; 02-13-2024 at 08:18 PM..
My wife wants to entertain in our home, I'm okay with a couple we are long time friends with, neighbors, not so much. A friendly chat at the fence line, sit with us by the firepit with a beverage is okay by me....entertain inside the home ......totally different animal to me, just don't feel it.
On an impulse i invited a couple over who live in the neighborhood. They are very nice, we enjoy talking with them when we meet them on our walks, like I did, or see them at town events. I am a bit out of practice in having just a couple over who are not also good friends we have known for a long while. We just dont entertain as we did once, and those were parties with close friends and lots of food. I am wondering if I should serve coffee and cake or wine and cheese or both. What time afternoon or evening? I know this sounds stupid but I am a bit nervous.
Please give me some suggestions. Plan help plan my “event.” What would you do?
I like the afternoon wine and cheese idea. Neighbors we did not know well invited my late partner and I, along with their neighbors on the other side, over a few years ago. It was mid-December, so the excuse was "the holidays" but you could use any reason. They said "just for some drinks and cheese for a couple of hours in the afternoon", setting the expectations, which was helpful, and that's what it was. We came over at two, they had a nice spread of various cheeses and crackers and fruit, and good conversation, and when all was said and done when we left around 5, we knew our neighbors better but still felt no obligation to make something bigger out of the relationship.
Quote:
Originally Posted by beer belly
My wife wants to entertain in our home, I'm okay with a couple we are long time friends with, neighbors, not so much. A friendly chat at the fence line, sit with us by the firepit with a beverage is okay by me....entertain inside the home ......totally different animal to me, just don't feel it.
That's ok, too. Bf was the same way. He was not at ease in all social situations and was actually dreading the afternoon thing with the neighbors, but he ended up enjoying it enough that afterward he said, "I suppose now we should have them here, but maybe in the summer, so we can do something out on the deck."
IIRC, OP lives in New England, so it's an indoor entertaining time of year.
My wife wants to entertain in our home, I'm okay with a couple we are long time friends with, neighbors, not so much. A friendly chat at the fence line, sit with us by the firepit with a beverage is okay by me....entertain inside the home ......totally different animal to me, just don't feel it.
Ugh I agree. We "accidentally" became friends with our right next door neighbors. They have become very needy, for years now asking if we are mad at them if we don't see them often enough. they invite us over constantly. They are retired and have been since they moved in there in 2015. I work full time at home and my husband is newly retired. We cherish our weekends and evening so we don't see them that often.
We have gone out to dinner with them and the last time was a disaster. They drank too much and made racist comments about white people (they are hispanic and we are white) and other offensive comments about our grown children that don't even live with us. It's difficult because we share back yards. They can see us coming and going. We are really no longer interested in being friends with them but I am non confrontational so I don't want to tell them that. I feel like moving. I know that is crazy but...
I guess my point is, neighbors should not be close friends just in case it goes south.
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
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Today's era is quite open to communication.
1) ask what time of day is best for them for a casual visit.
2) any dietary restrictions? (Could be medical, vegan, religious, personal reasons)
3). Preferences? Just ask! Beer and pretzels, wine and cheese, tea or coffee, or casual 'anything'?
Everyone is different in availability, tastes, diet, desires of casual snacks.
You might have neighbors who grew up on a farm...
Spouse (finally after 44 yrs) is well aware NOT to invite people over during daylight hours, especially on our very few days of nice weather.(farming / outdoor task timeframe). And.... that 'Dinner' is not supper, and 'Lunch' is not at noon (it's prepared foods between meals during active days of high calorie need. - such as planting, haying, harvest)
Been a steep learning curve.
Since we had a regional big storm with lots of damage, we've been neighboring a lot lately (helping each other out). 9 'in-home' visits with snacks / meals during the last week. No wine, no cheese, no coffee or tea, no beer - just an impromptu 'what's on hand?'.
It's all been great, it's all been very welcome and appreciated, it's all been enjoyable. and... All has been impromptu.
Enjoy the time together.
Treasured memories.
Precious relationships!
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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It's tricky when you don't really know the people. For example, offering wine and cheese can be a faux pas if one or both don't drink, and worse, if one is on the wagon. I would start out with less problematic beverages, an assortment such as water, ice tea, or soda, and maybe just cookies. In fact I would make the cookies just before they arrive so warm and a nice aroma inside. We have lived here in this house for 30 years, and I have been in one neighbor's house a few times, but not for a social gathering. We have had a few "block parties" over the years, but otherwise it's just chatting over the fence or in someone's front yard. The people we have over for this kind of thing are those that we have become friends with that live in the same city but not in our neighborhood. Tomorrow for example, my wife is spending the day doing a "tour of quilt shops" with 3 other women that she has met through their hobby, the closest lives about 1.2 miles away. They will be spending at least 6 hours together and hit about 5 cities up to 2 hours away.
On an impulse i invited a couple over who live in the neighborhood. They are very nice, we enjoy talking with them when we meet them on our walks, like I did, or see them at town events. I am a bit out of practice in having just a couple over who are not also good friends we have known for a long while. We just dont entertain as we did once, and those were parties with close friends and lots of food. I am wondering if I should serve coffee and cake or wine and cheese or both. What time afternoon or evening? I know this sounds stupid but I am a bit nervous.
Please give me some suggestions. Plan help plan my “event.” What would you do?
When I have "handy men" over, I offer either bottled water or if I have a pot going, "Cowboy Coffee" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coffee...ration#Boiling . I specifically say that as it is that kind of coffee is rather "primitive". Further, I try to collect "mugs" so if they have to depart, they can take some as one for the road, either in ceramics I am willing to part with, types and various states of travel mugs, or Styrofoam from the camping supplies.
I am influenced by old movies that showed when there is an unexpected guest in the house, you serve them coffee and a dessert, such as Glenda Jackson to Walter Matthau in "House Calls". However, I rarely these days have guests and don't have desserts lying around, so it is a nice fantasy but......
Nevertheless, I am influenced to being able to entertain to some degree of visitors be it the "mother" of the cats I now have, uniformed military men of an ailing starship, or friendly mobsters stopping by for a cup of coffee.
I could serve wine and cheese for I have lots of both, lots of cutting boards, a supply of triscuits, lots of spices. The catch is about the wine, however. First of all, I can no longer share the wine with them as that it is off the menu. Secondly, what's my responsibility to their state of being able to drive on departure?
I have sent people off with bottles of unopened wine, however.
Finally, whether influenced by TV/movies or otherwise.......I do prompt the ranch as a potential bug out location for family, close friends, my Carnie friends. As a location that if they are traveling, they could call me up as a possible layover, rest from driving, let the horses rest, maybe clean kitty litter. Such fits my spirit.....be it the Lady of the Hacienda or building up a network of friendly manpower should society ever go south. For whatever the reason, I do keep supplies which are more suited to being for guests than my use, such as from canned spaghetti to pizzas in the chest freezers to a case of canned dog chow (I have no dogs) for whoever my visitors might be.
I found the 'safest' way to having new neighbors over is to invite them for brunch at the time of their choosing.
I can offer a variety of beverages be it coffee, tea, juice or just water.
I usually have a small buffet style of homemade foods for people to take whatever to their liking.
1. Bagels, croissants, muffins, toast with jams, butter and cheese
2. Fruits, crudité & cold cut, deviled eggs platters
3. Quiche and/or a hot casserole
I usually gift the guests small jars of my homemade jams if they seem to really enjoy it.
I don't invite new friends for dinner unless I know about their food and beverage preferences and/or any dietary restrictions.
Last edited by BellaDL; 02-14-2024 at 09:49 AM..
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......totally different animal to me, just don't feel it.
