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This reminds me of Rodney Dangerfield, who said: "My wife and I sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations. We're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together!"
After my partner died I find travel very boring. On rare occasions when we did travel separately, it was nice talking on the phone about once a day to keep each other updated on what we were doing. Once I shortened a solo trip because I got homesick.
Nope, I would not travel more than a few days without DH. Of course, I would meet friends or some family elsewhere but not as a major vacation.
We have gone on trips with other friends and family but as a couple. Having the same interests in various areas of the country and world certainly helps.
We started out traveling through Europe when we were 18-19 years old and haven’t stopped “adventuring” five decades later. We really like to plan extensively, with DH mostly organizing the transportation and I handle hotels plus translating a couple of other languages abroad. Way too much fun to not experience it together!
My uncle used to snow bird in the winter without my aunt. She continued working for some time after he was retired. She would fly down a couple times and he might fly back up depending on what was going on. I remember my parents used to scratch their heads about it, but my aunt and uncle seemed to have a great relationship.
"The Trick to a Great Marriage: Vacation Without Your Partner"
That's the title of a recent article, saying the trend is particularly present among retirees.
In 2023, people 55 and over traveled without their significant other 46% more than people in that age group did the year before, according to the U.S. Consumer Traveler Report from market-research group Phocuswright. Most married solo travelers are women, travel companies say. These solo—not single—women say they are motivated to see the world, even if their spouse isn’t interested in the destination. They also enjoy making new friends and the sense of freedom that comes from independent travel.
Do you vacation without your significant other? Would you want to?
It can't be entirely generalized, of course, but I think women like to travel more than men. This link says 64% of all travelers are female, and 36% male, and also 55% of solo travelers are female vs. 45% male:
I know more than one couple where only the wife travels to new places, and they travel together only when visiting family. I don't know why some men dislike travel... I am not a man, and I like travel, so I completely lack any personal insight here. Long ago, I used to date a man who didn't want to travel outside the US. He did a tour of Europe after college, during which he found everything boring and unpleasantly unfamiliar, and he thought it was dangerous for Americans to travel pretty much anywhere (this was in the early 1990s). He also seemed to think that my interest in travel was pointless and frivolous - I guess serious people were supposed to be interested only in making money, in their carrer, and in their family. He wasn't a backwoods moron, in fact was a physician who prior to med school graduated from a top Ivy League college.
I dig going on vacation with my wife.
I’m good with doing a small trip with my brother or my son too.
My brother and I will sometimes fly to San Diego and do the Tijuana/Rosarito thing.
My son and us sometimes go down there for several days of tuna fishing.
That said,
I think I have the best times when it’s just the wife and I.
I sure wouldn’t want to do a major trip or vacation without her.
I am also not a fan of group vacations.
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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I used to do a week away on business once a year, in Las Vegas, and found that it was boring to be there with just myself after the events of the day were over. I used to go to help out my parents and stay overnight without my wife, and she sometimes will go to a sewing/quilting retreat overnight, but that's just 1-2 days away.
When it comes to vacations we both enjoy the same kinds of things to do and see, so no, we would never take a real vacation without being together.
I know more than one couple where only the wife travels to new places, and they travel together only when visiting family. I don't know why some men dislike travel... I am not a man, and I like travel, so I completely lack any personal insight here. Long ago, I used to date a man who didn't want to travel outside the US. He did a tour of Europe after college, during which he found everything boring and unpleasantly unfamiliar, and he thought it was dangerous for Americans to travel pretty much anywhere (this was in the early 1990s). He also seemed to think that my interest in travel was pointless and frivolous - I guess serious people were supposed to be interested only in making money, in their carrer, and in their family. He wasn't a backwoods moron, in fact was a physician who prior to med school graduated from a top Ivy League college.
Maybe your boyfriend was like Emerson, who called travel "a fool's paradise".
It was my mother who was afraid of flying across an ocean, despite my dad's pleas to go with him to Europe. So they never went.
The people I know who I would call "chronic travelers" in retirement are women and gay men. People who do multiple international trips per year in addition to frequent domestic travel.
Check out the article from The New Yorker, June 24, 2023, "The Case Against Travel", by Agnes Callard:
I've pretty much decided I've done enough travel earlier in life, and think about the environmental impact of air travel and tourism in general. In retirement, I really enjoy taking short trips close to home and getting to appreciate my local area and ecology on a deeper level.
I've taken 7 day RV trips without my husband and enjoyed them a lot, doing exactly what I wanted to do, driving where I wanted, eating when I wanted to.
He has never liked traveling much but went along with what I planned, including (2) 7-8 week RV trips from Florida to the great western national parks. I am a great planner and navigator and enjoy researching places before visiting them as well as finding things along the road.
Our RV is sold (it was 10 years old and stuff breaking) and now we are happy to drive 2 hours to the NC mountains to explore waterfalls and beautiful scenery. Several summer trips planned there in 2024. I like having him along and he enjoys being there. If he stayed home he'd worry.
My mother-in-law patiently waited for her husbands retirement so they could travel farther. He died suddenly from aneurysm a year before retiring. She traveled with women friends but not to the overseas places they planned on.
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