Why it’s hard for executives to retire, and how they could adjust to post-career life (55, divorce)
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I know this article is talking about executives, but I think it applies to any working person regardless of their level. The psychology is all the same.
I mentioned this before but I think a lot of people who struggle with retirement are those whose lives were defined by their jobs. That is, their whole working life was structured to the day to day environment of their jobs, the people they work with, so on. As such they got their sense of worth and purpose from what they did,
For those in higher management positions, there's another aspect to it as the article mentions. Your career was one of being in positions of power, power over subordinates and the power to make huge decisions that can impact the company. When you give that up, you feel lost and empty.
For myself, I am the complete opposite as my life was never defined by my jobs. I can look back and be happy that I did a lot of meaningful work that impacted a lot of lives for the better. But, my sense of self worth was never tied to my career. It was just a means to an end of eventually not ever having to work the daily 9-5 grind again. The pandemic only reaffirmed that, I was perfectly happy being at home doing nothing, just relaxing watching TV, surfing the internet, cooking, working out, just being free and without stress. I'll never feel a need to get a part time job or whatever as some would do to alleviate the boredom.
The pandemic has shattered many of our ideas about work – where, when, how, with whom – and many people find they are rethinking their former or current jobs. Others have taken the opportunity to reinvent themselves and find new careers, occupations, and interests.
Perhaps some of the most difficult decisions have been around whether to retire, if one is 55 or 75. For many people that’s a tough decision. For people who have been in top executive positions, with lots of power, it can be even harder.
First, they must redefine their role in a community. For years, they’ve likely been at the top of their game— and the top of their organizations — and have status and power that comes with that and perhaps an inflated sense of themselves. Their employment has provided structure, friends at work, and a purpose.
That goes away with retirement. In fact, some of those high-powered people may feel that those who even broach the topic are being disloyal. They are likely to go through the stages of grief – denying they should retire, being angry with others for mentioning it, and so on.
"For those in higher management positions, there's another aspect to it as the article mentions. Your career was one of being in positions of power, power over subordinates and the power to make huge decisions that can impact the company. When you give that up, you feel lost and empty."
... only if you want to.
I'll put in in the same way that I did for those who worked for me.
"My job is NOT to have power over you. My job is to make you look the best you can to the general public and those in the company. In doing so, you may dislike me. Go ahead. In doing so, I may make you think and work in ways that are hard for you. That is nothing more than what I have had to do. I have done EVERY job that I have a position of control over. I've cleaned toilets. I've mopped up the drunken spew of those who had pizza and foods that I could describe in detail. If you think I get a kick out of power, you need to do the same scut work before making such a claim. If you FULLY understand the requirements of the job and the responsibilities, I'll gladly turn the task over to you. The ultimate task of anyone in a leadership position is to train their replacement."
As far as the power hungry dweebs? Their suffering is of their own making.
Last edited by harry chickpea; 06-14-2021 at 07:37 PM..
I know this article is talking about executives, but I think it applies to any working person regardless of their level. The psychology is all the same.
I mentioned this before but I think a lot of people who struggle with retirement are those whose lives were defined by their jobs. That is, their whole working life was structured to the day to day environment of their jobs, the people they work with, so on. As such they got their sense of worth and purpose from what they did,
For those in higher management positions, there's another aspect to it as the article mentions. Your career was one of being in positions of power, power over subordinates and the power to make huge decisions that can impact the company. When you give that up, you feel lost and empty.
Quote:
For myself, I am the complete opposite as my life was never defined by my jobs. I can look back and be happy that I did a lot of meaningful work that impacted a lot of lives for the better. But, my sense of self worth was never tied to my career. It was just a means to an end of eventually not ever having to work.
So I take it your position prior to retirement is not in a position of power. You had no power over others nor were you in a position making important decisions. A job for you is ".... just a means to an end..." since you derived not a sense of self worth or identity from it.
Would anyone at work miss you or noticed you were gone for a month?
Over the years, I've noticed that many managers, not all, and maybe not even plurality, love being managers not to develop the company or the staff, but simply to control people. They like being able to micromanage and having the power to basically end someone's financial well-being at their own whim.
So I take it your position prior to retirement is not in a position of power. You had no power over others nor were you in a position making important decisions. A job for you is ".... just a means to an end..." since you derived not a sense of self worth or identity from it.
Would anyone at work miss you or noticed you were gone for a month?
Just making sure I am reading your post correctly
While I don't have direct reports, my work includes making important decisions. Yet, I still see it as a means to an end...to generate income. That's it. No self worth or identity from it or attached to it.
I have a great life outside of work. That's where I find my identity and self worth.
"For those in higher management positions, there's another aspect to it as the article mentions. Your career was one of being in positions of power, power over subordinates and the power to make huge decisions that can impact the company. When you give that up, you feel lost and empty."
... only if you want to.
I'll put in in the same way that I did for those who worked for me.
"My job is NOT to have power over you. My job is to make you look the best you can to the general public and those in the company. In doing so, you may dislike me. Go ahead. In doing so, I may make you think and work in ways that are hard for you. That is nothing more than what I have had to do. I have done EVERY job that I have a position of control over. I've cleaned toilets. I've mopped up the drunken spew of those who had pizza and foods that I could describe in detail. If you think I get a kick out of power, you need to do the same scut work before making such a claim. If you FULLY understand the requirements of the job and the responsibilities, I'll gladly turn the task over to you. The ultimate task of anyone in a leadership position is to train their replacement."
As far as the power hungry dweebs? Their suffering is of their own making.
Um, what kind of industry were you in? Because this speech wouldn't have made any sense if made by an executive in my industry, which was healthcare IT.
Most of the executives I worked with had a pretty healthy ego, and I think they when they retire, they miss being in the position of power and responsibility. I remember I worked as an intern for a senior VP and he was asked in an interview what kept him up at night. He said "regulations" (meaning government regs that could affect the direction of healthcare). I said later to him that if I were him, it would keep me up knowing that my decisions would affect thousands of employees (product direction, strategy, etc.). The next time he was asked in an interview what kept him up at night, he said "Knowing that my decisions will affect thousands of employees" or some such thing that was very similar to what I'd said.
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Managers who miss ruining the careers, families, and morale of their subordinates can just run (ruin) the HOA while in retirement. There are plenty of them successfully doing that, and making life miserable for all their neighbors, city planners and officials.
They also often 'naturally assimilate' to management roles at non-profits and churches which result in major staff turnovers, which they can then credit to their benvolent need to re-direct the organization to a greater purpose. Often resulting in major split and ultimate failure of a Non-profit that had been functioning fine for the 50 yrs prior to their arrival.
Some people are just not that much fun to work with / for.
(shhhh, don't tell them that, but it's OK because they will never hear it anyway, worked well for their last career... just count the dead bodies!)
One of my GREAT managers (of over 28 total) had a 88% divorce quotient! (3 of his own + 88% of his staff over 43 yrs of dedicated company service(?)) A real 'encourager'! Went on to do great things at the HOA..
The elite group of managers boasted their self proclaimed title of "Career Busters" during the Ghostbuster era. ("You're only one evaluation away from termination!"... ok, keep my replacement handy!... "There are a hundred people beating on my door for YOUR job", Fine, chose the one that is better than I and let him fill my shoes. Everyday conversations at the start of each night shift, so nice to be retired from that. (fortunately the boss went home at 3:30pm, so we only had to listen to their rants for 30 min / day)
Last edited by StealthRabbit; 06-14-2021 at 11:15 PM..
Managers who miss ruining the careers, families, and morale of their subordinates can just run (ruin) the HOA while in retirement. There are plenty of them successfully doing that, and making life miserable for all their neighbors, city planners and officials.
Managers can't ruin the careers, families, and morale of their subordinates without the subordinate capitulation. Don't like your manager. Leave. Recreate yourself. The whole "I can't, I am bound by circumstances", is a ****-poor excuse for not taking control of your own life.
The same is true of those in responsibility in volunteer positions:
Being the HOA president or other volunteer positions etc... sometimes means being the person people love to hate. Everybody wants new equipment in the fitness room, upgrades to the common areas, or whatever and at the same time everybody wants low HOA fees. Yes, people take these positions to satisfy their egos but they also make the tough decisions. They don't make decisions in a vacuum but in agreement with the rest of the board. If enough people think the decisions are not in their best interests they vote the person / the board out. If they are enjoying that the board is holding fees down. They just complain.
My post won't be popular for the same reason. My post is true and that means people need to take responsibility. But people can't accept that what is wrong with their lives is within their power to fix so they will just complain that I am wrong.
While I don't have direct reports, my work includes making important decisions. Yet, I still see it as a means to an end...to generate income. That's it. No self worth or identity from it or attached to it.
I have a great life outside of work. That's where I find my identity and self worth.
I got an IM from another poster explaining to me that the OP is a young man in his early 30s. So I'd imagine he has not giving his chosen profession a lot of thoughts.
I am a type-A person and I take my responsibility and my professional reputation very seriously. As result, I weigh carefully on what I say and the decisions I make professionally. I take pride at my work and I do derive a lot of self respect from what I do (not my job but what I do - there's a difference). A majority of people (men & women) I work with are the same.
But we are professionals. Maybe admin support personnel have different sense of self worth from their jobs.
I am reminded an old Chinese proverb, loosely translated it says " A tiger leaves its furs after it dies, whereas a man leaves his reputation".
I do believe a lot of men take very seriously of their jobs and their reputations. Traditionally men are the head of household and that comes with responsibility of providing household income, roof over the heads, and supporting a family. Today the roles are changing, we are seeing many females also in a professional role and are also type-A person and take their own reputation very seriously.
It's not to say those of us who take our jobs seriously do not have a sense of self-worth away from our jobs. It's not a either or. Many of us are also fathers, husbands, sons, and volunteers in our community. We conduct ourselves the same at or outside of work, polite, courteous, careful of what we say, slow to judge, and try to be supportive.
But I recognize as we get older we are less patient and less tolerance of other behaviors. For me it's the "stupid drivers" on the road. I can see retired Generals and executives are slow to change their way of doing things. Maybe that's why they don't just retire, often they serve on company Board of Directors, or start their consulting company so they stay engaged and not drive their wives crazy.
While I don't have direct reports, my work includes making important decisions. Yet, I still see it as a means to an end...to generate income. That's it. No self worth or identity from it or attached to it.
I have a great life outside of work. That's where I find my identity and self worth.
This is a shocker to read. From your posts you seem ALL about work and its importance to you, and the huge importance one should glean from it in life. Everyone should be a success and pull themselves up, etc.
Good to know you thrive outside the paycheck!
Back to the OP, my dad was "lost" when he retired. He owned his own medical practice with lots of employees and I always sensed he derived his self-worth from his work "helping others", and had a kind of "2nd family" at work.
Puttering around wasn't enough for him so he ended up volunteering at nursing homes since he wasn't computer-savvy enough to actually get hired, lol (at 80+). Not that he wanted a "job", so to speak, just to feel useful in his field.
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