I Have a New, Age Related Problem . . . (55, moving, depression)
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I didn't see the comma in the subject line of your thread, so I thought you had a New Age related problem (like maybe problems with finding the correct guru or a person that could make you a personal horoscope?). Anyway, as I posted already, I think all lines of work are imposing unreasonable workload and demand for speed on the employees (with the ultimate goal I guess of human being working as efficiently and rapidly as a computer), which is resulting in incredible number of mistakes people make, or just people cutting corners and not doing much of what they should be doing in the first place, trying to replace quality of service with massive and rapid quantity. It is getting impossible to get any kind of sevice performed smoothly.
I have resigned to expecting problems and delays with absolutely everything. Whenever I need to talk to a customer service of any kind, I also automatically expect that I will be talking to a moron, and it will take a minimum of 20 phone calls over one month to obtain what I am trying to obtain. That is simply the new normal. I don't get exasperated any more with what has become normal :-). My way of dealing with it is just to add the unresolved issue to the written list of issues in progress, and do not think about it. I do not believe this problem is related to your (or anybody's) age, but simply the way the world has become. I think the occupation which will continue to grow, after all other types of human work get fully automated and replaced by machines, is the occupation of "troubleshooting" - there is more and more need for it everywhere.
Ha ha - yes, that's why I put the comma in - but I also do have "new age" problems - lol.
I sure wish I could adopt your stance outlined in the second paragraph! How were you able to convince your nervous system not to react negatively to morons or time wasted?
The time wasted thing seems to be key to my annoyance - I had forgotten to mention that!
I'm old, so "time's a wastin'" - I don't HAVE time to waste - I have an agenda - I need to get things done and the world refuses to cooperate with me! That sounds so ridiculous and childish, but it is how I feel.
It is an age-related issue because I used to be able to let stuff go - "like water off a duck's back."
I think there are several contributors to my new malady:
1) Expectations: I erroneously expected that things would go well, in general, and that I would be doing well at this point in my life. I'm mad that that is not the case. It's irrational because those beliefs don't serve me, but they must be very deeply ingrained, and some subconscious, because it's an ongoing problem.
2) I have noticed that I get mind-boggled now more than I ever did previously. What I mean is that I get stumped and frustrated when I can't figure out how to solve a problem. I have several of those kinds of problems, and not only can I not figure things out, I can't find "experts" to help me figure the stuff out. Long list of stuff that just boggles my mind.
3) The Comcast call was because my bill keeps going up around $25 dollars per month - sometimes when I call, the put me on some kind of promotion that expires in a month, and then I have to call again. My bill began at around $175 and then went up to $200, $225, and this month was over $250. The person I initially spoke with said she would try to help me, but she never did. She first asked my name and I told her my legal name but said they have my name on file as a previous name (I sent them the updated, official information, but they never changed it) - so then she asked if that's why I called and I said, no, but you asked what my name is so I am telling you my current name and the one you have on file. Then she reviewed my account, but kept telling me she would help me, but then just kept babbling about how great it was going to be when she finally helped me! Then she reviewed my plan and said something about a landline and I said I don't have a landline, can you take that off - and of course, she could not take that off, she had to transfer me - then the next person asked about the channels I want and I said I would have to review a list because I don't want to accidentally get rid of some specific channels I need. The entire call was 28 minutes and I got nothing accomplished. I paid the $252 bill.
4) I had also gotten a notice from IRS saying their calculations are different from mine, so took that down to my tax guy (who is very exasperated in general and doesn't return phone calls) - so I have no idea what's going to happen with that.
5) I own a commercial property and had to talk to someone about various repairs. It's never-ending.
I basically have no tolerance for solving problems anymore. The list is too long - there are too many things out of my control, I don't want to think about problems.
I have concluded I'm entitled (have lots to be grateful for, but don't feel grateful because I get so pissed off about all of this stuff I have to handle), I have expectations that I should be relaxing and having fun most of the time, and I have goals that it sometimes feels like are really difficult to accomplish (trying to get all loose ends tied up so I can travel).
I just feel disappointed, frustrated, and angry at a lot of things in my life. I didn't mention my dog barking, non-stop, which just adds to the chaos.
I also have stuff I am working on in therapy (a lot of unprocessed grief over stuff that's happened).
I am an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person), so my nervous system is always on high alert.
I hate complaining, and feel like that is what I am doing - but if I don't express it, it gets bottled up and then I explode (oh, I forgot that my printer would not print what I wanted it to, for no good reason - and then when it did, one line was blurry, no matter how many times I fanned the paper). I just don't feel I can take it anymore (not going anywhere, that's just how I feel).
Just fed up and unhappy right now.
Then I think of all those with truly horrible problems and it makes me feel like an even worse person for being so petty and spoiled.
Definitely need a mindset change - working on it.
Oh wow. There is a lot to un-package here. I'm not sure if my previous response applies. I no longer see this is age-related. Maybe just a little.
I can only recommend reducing your expectations. Even if this means reducing your goals.
I'm in a similar situation and it's a situation of my own making. I bought a property on some acreage and all of it needs works. It's fun and we enjoy it, but it brings a lot more decision making and relying on others..
I used to have a minimalist and frugal lifestyle and although limiting, I was left alone and had a predictable world. I didn't have to call FedEx and UPS looking for my packages. I didn't have to chase down and compare vendors for painting, and septic tanks and crawl spaces (etc., etc.). I didn't get frustrated I couldn't find a mentor to help me with my new beehives.
These things stress me out in a way that it doesn't stress other people out. I'm also HSP. I crave organization and predictability. Having to rely on others makes it harder to stay organized and predict the future.
Sounds like your situation, like mine, is more a function of having options and choice than one of aging. At most you might have less bandwidth or maybe your processing has slowed a little, but I don't see how anything you wrote is age-based. Sounds more psychological and sensory-based biophysical.
I agree that "troubleshooting" is needed in the world, but as you said, there are too many stupid people now, so who's gonna teach them to troubleshoot and how are they going to be able to actually do it?
Also, sometimes I get lured into the chat options, and I can tell you, I HAVE NEVER BEEN HELPED BY A CHAT WITH A COMPANY. NEVER. Have, at least, learned that!
I have just the opposite problem. My spouse, like the OP, has grown less tolerant of others stupidity and lack of consideration, while I have found I just don't give a darn any more. Life's too short to get angry over stupid, lazy, self-centered or otherwise rude people. And this drive my spouse crazy. All my life I had been a hot-head and quick to call out bad behavior. Now over 60, I don't seen to care. I have learned it is well outside my "sphere of influence", so I ignore it.
It's no use letting others ruin your day and possibly send you to an early grave.
1) My patience level - I have never been blessed with patience - but it's even thinner now, than ever because of the "time" factor (the reality that there is only "x" time left, and I want to get "y" goals accomplished).
2) My brain doesn't compute as good as it used to - I literally cannot figure some things out and that leads to frustration (lots of it is stuff I would have never known how to figure out, but I think what's different is my inability to process complex data).
3) My intolerance has truly grown. I cannot handle stupidity, and as most people know, we're surrounded by stupid ideas and stupid people, daily. (I do see this as a spiritual challenge, but don't know how to work with it yet).
4) I think when I was younger, people were more helpful to me because I was more attractive. I think loss of youth and attractiveness makes life harder because people aren't as helpful or as nice as they are when you're really cute.
Comcast is so awful, it changed the name of its internet service to Xfinity
"A Google search on “Comcast” lends several high ranked anti-Comcast results, including ComcastSucks.org, a site dedicated to making Comcast a responsible business entity."
I can't blame you. Comcast doesn't give a damn. That's what happens with an absence of competition.
They aren't the only ones. Spectrum, AT&T any number of these services are a pita to deal with when you have issues. Call about outage and you get "no reported outages" have to send someone out then two hours later it comes back on so you have to call back and cancel (yes there was an outage when you then go online and look at local social media). Or they tell you things like reboot your computer, your modem, your house (just kidding) when you have already done all that and told them so. They want you to do it again. <sigh> Some how the light company can report outages immediately by your phone number but the internet companies can't or won't do that.
I have just the opposite problem. My spouse, like the OP, has grown less tolerant of others stupidity and lack of consideration, while I have found I just don't give a darn any more. Life's too short to get angry over stupid, lazy, self-centered or otherwise rude people. And this drive my spouse crazy. All my life I had been a hot-head and quick to call out bad behavior. Now over 60, I don't seen to care. I have learned it is well outside my "sphere of influence", so I ignore it.
It's no use letting others ruin your day and possibly send you to an early grave.
I agree with you - just can't seem to get there yet. Working on it.
I have just the opposite problem. My spouse, like the OP, has grown less tolerant of others stupidity and lack of consideration, while I have found I just don't give a darn any more. Life's too short to get angry over stupid, lazy, self-centered or otherwise rude people. And this drive my spouse crazy. All my life I had been a hot-head and quick to call out bad behavior. Now over 60, I don't seen to care. I have learned it is well outside my "sphere of influence", so I ignore it.
It's no use letting others ruin your day and possibly send you to an early grave.
Yep to the highlighted above. I let most stuff that used to bother me slide away. getting upset at something or someone i can't change is wasted energy.
I have been on hold for 3 DAYS now, waiting for those Priceline idiots to "call me back". I would have waited on hold for an hour or more, but NO, they have to "call you back". The one time they did, it got immediately disconnected. My phone comes through my laptop so I have to sit here, then get DH to sit here, if I have to even go to the bathroom!!!!!!!
The LAW is that you get a refund, no questions asked, for airline- canceled flights, but somehow, they are fighting us on it.
I have no tolerance anymore either. Because it's a dam pile-up these days. You can't get through to anyone. We were on hold for Barclay's credit card for THREE HOURS (who also denied the refund).
VRBO (Vacation Rental by Owner) is sending me to an early grave with their theft of over 4 grand.
What are these consumer protection organizations even FOR? They don't do squat, provide no help. I've written to every single one and the FTC, BBB, politicians....no one gives a rat's azz.
So to add to Comcast as being against the consumer, let's add:
VRBO, Barclay's, Priceline, Iberian Airlines and probably every other third-party provider (which I will never use again).
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