Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 03-02-2019, 01:03 PM
 
2,291 posts, read 1,689,521 times
Reputation: 9498

Advertisements

OP, definitely check if your mom would receive more SS money based on her ex’s earnings as she was married more than 10 years. Her ex would never know and it would affect neither him nor any other later wives in their SS payments.

I agree with others that the divorce papers will spell out the settlement so obtain that info. Sometimes there was an exchange made for part of the pension (house, cash, etc.) at the time of the divorce.

Sadly many women just didn’t have good advice or needed money at the moment. I have a friend who signed divorce papers just days before her 10 year wedding anniversary. She was never warned by her lawyer and would have received hundreds more in SS now based on her ex’s earnings if she had known.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 03-03-2019, 07:14 AM
 
9,329 posts, read 16,710,982 times
Reputation: 15780
Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl View Post
It really has nothing to do with military rules however. It only has to do with what is in their divorce decree. OP hasn’t responded to questions about it, but it is normally detailed in divorces. If she signed away rights to the pension in exchange for the house or some other monetary gain, it doesn’t matter at all what the eligibility rules say. She’s going to have to take him back to divorce court to get any of his pension. It’s a lot to undertake at age 83.
I beg to differ OCNJGIRL It does have to do with military rules. If he was not paying into the Survivor Benefit Pension (SBP) and named her as beneficiary, she has no case. The military pension ends at his death. My spouse spent 20+ years in the military and at the time of his divorce from his first wife, half his military pension was to go to his first wife of 20 years, via a QDRO. He had to pay a monthly amount which was taken from his military retirement for SBP and stipulated his first wife was beneficiary. Upon his death, as beneficiary and the fact he paid the SBP, she would continue to receive 55%.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-03-2019, 09:29 AM
 
9,329 posts, read 16,710,982 times
Reputation: 15780
Default Uniformed Services Former Spouse Protection Act

https://www.nclamp.gov/publications/...on-act-usfspa/

Uniformed Services Former Spouse Protection Act
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-03-2019, 09:45 AM
 
51,189 posts, read 36,886,257 times
Reputation: 76906
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ellwood View Post
I beg to differ OCNJGIRL It does have to do with military rules. If he was not paying into the Survivor Benefit Pension (SBP) and named her as beneficiary, she has no case. The military pension ends at his death. My spouse spent 20+ years in the military and at the time of his divorce from his first wife, half his military pension was to go to his first wife of 20 years, via a QDRO. He had to pay a monthly amount which was taken from his military retirement for SBP and stipulated his first wife was beneficiary. Upon his death, as beneficiary and the fact he paid the SBP, she would continue to receive 55%.
All that would’ve been spelled out in the divorce decree. He would’ve been ordered to pay into it and maintain it, just as my fiancé is required to maintain life insurance for his ex because it’s in the divorce decree. We have no idea if she excepted a payout and gave up rights to the pension. The divorce would not have left retirement open ended and undetermined, it would specify if she were to share the pension benefit. No government office can tell her what her divorce decree stipulates or tell her what she’s entitled to without knowing what it specifies.

Don’t forget, OPs mother is 83 years old. I can’t imagine she just forgot what her benefits were for 20 years, or had no idea he had a pension. I have a feeling she signed away rights and OP is simply doing whatever he can try to find her some money. I get that, but step number one has to be knowing what the divorce decree says.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-03-2019, 04:30 PM
 
9,329 posts, read 16,710,982 times
Reputation: 15780
Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl View Post
All that would’ve been spelled out in the divorce decree. He would’ve been ordered to pay into it and maintain it, just as my fiancé is required to maintain life insurance for his ex because it’s in the divorce decree. We have no idea if she excepted a payout and gave up rights to the pension. The divorce would not have left retirement open ended and undetermined, it would specify if she were to share the pension benefit. No government office can tell her what her divorce decree stipulates or tell her what she’s entitled to without knowing what it specifies.

Don’t forget, OPs mother is 83 years old. I can’t imagine she just forgot what her benefits were for 20 years, or had no idea he had a pension. I have a feeling she signed away rights and OP is simply doing whatever he can try to find her some money. I get that, but step number one has to be knowing what the divorce decree says.
If it was in the decree she would have been receiving it all these years.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-03-2019, 08:34 PM
 
51,189 posts, read 36,886,257 times
Reputation: 76906
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ellwood View Post
If it was in the decree she would have been receiving it all these years.
Yes that’s the point. So she may have signed it away or something which would also be in the decree. Either way, any agency would need to know what was agreed-upon, they cant just answer this question generically.And any case it doesn’t change the fact that you need to take him back to divorce court. Only a judge and a court order can force him to share his pension at this point.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-04-2019, 07:58 AM
 
9,329 posts, read 16,710,982 times
Reputation: 15780
Contact DEERS or DFAS and they will be able to provide answers:
https://www.tricare.mil/DEERS

Also suggest you get a copy of the divorce decree.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-23-2019, 12:37 PM
 
Location: PA
110 posts, read 89,343 times
Reputation: 272
Well, turns out half of Dad’s social would be less than what Mom currently gets, at least we know now...better to know than to wonder. Thanks for all the input everyone.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-23-2019, 01:42 PM
 
Location: Central NY
5,951 posts, read 5,131,117 times
Reputation: 16895
Quote:
Originally Posted by shamrock4 View Post
OP, definitely check if your mom would receive more SS money based on her ex’s earnings as she was married more than 10 years. Her ex would never know and it would affect neither him nor any other later wives in their SS payments.

I agree with others that the divorce papers will spell out the settlement so obtain that info. Sometimes there was an exchange made for part of the pension (house, cash, etc.) at the time of the divorce.

Sadly many women just didn’t have good advice or needed money at the moment. I have a friend who signed divorce papers just days before her 10 year wedding anniversary. She was never warned by her lawyer and would have received hundreds more in SS now based on herex’s earnings if she had known.


I agree with the bolded paragraph.

Speaking only for myself but I am guessing I was not the only one, I was so anxious to get him out of my life I did not think about the financial end. I had a terrible lawyer (he was recommended to me by my hairdresser!). I was married 21+ mostly miserable years and waited for the kids to be out of high school.

I'm divorced 36+ years (never remarried). Life is good.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top