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This is the second person who has pulled out the "to have a friend, you have to be a friend." It kind of rubs me the wrong way because I am a GREAT friend - I am very considerate in many ways - and that has not been reciprocated, so it's kind of a sore spot.
Just wondering: Why did you pick the C-D handle that you did?
It wasn't easy but when I did it I began making friends. Out of those friends I found one or two really true ones. I learned it begins with me.
I was talking about breaking even. This sounds like burning a whole lotta coal for a little bit of heat. All those friends. Over all those years. All that reaching out and "people handling," sorting the good ones from the not-so-good, for a lifetime, and you end up with "one or two" good friends.
In my book I'll can live without it and enjoy life, and just be somewhat less popular.
I know what I am missing - trying, and have tried various remedies.
Won't be a guinea pig on this forum for others to try to psychoanalyze me (why did I pick my user name, do I know that to make a friend you have to be a friend, etc.) . . . I look forward to reading what you think is missing from YOUR life and what you think the solution is . . .
Retired people in the USA have Medicare, don't you know about Medicare?
Yes, but there can be a 20% copay, and for anything major, that's more than many can afford. Some of the Advantage plans may cover some/all of that, though, and may cover some dental and vision (NOT covered by regular Medicare). And of course, long term care (under Medicaid) is not covered unless you're basically destitute.
Besides a bit more $$$, a few more friends perhaps.
As posted in the "friends" thread, we have 3 excellent friends, working on a 4th, which I don't think is going to workout.
Having a partner in life ( partner, spouse, significant other, etc) HELPS.
Some people are loners and don't want a partner, some are with " dud" partners, some have lost a partner and just can't bear to replace lost partner.
Experts a long time ago did a report on something like 60 minutes or PBS that pointed out humans need human contact. Babies with lots of human contact thrived better than loner raised children. ( please PLEASE DON'T berate me if you are a loner and happier, I did NOT do the report). People that had lots of human contact also did better as adults. THEY didn't specify what kind of contact, just that human to human contact appears to make one thrive. I'm also reminded that the book "1984" by Orwell noted that the computer would order him to " go outside down to the fence to visit with (his) neighbor for human contact for 1 hour", and his neighbors computer would tell his neighbor the same thing.
I/we could do with a few more GOOD QUALITY friends.
The three are plenty for now, though. A few more would be nice.
We do have about 5 "acquaintances friends", but not really close enough to be like family. We need a few more "family" quality friends, I think.
We,will eventually be moving. One close friend and wife may move close to us, the other two will be staying put.
Well see how well we do to develop sone new "family " quality friends in our new local.
The money thing will improve as life goes on. At least we are preparing for it, hopefully it will improve as,planned.
....I finally got it. I had to make the effort to reach out to people if I wanted them to reach back. It wasn't easy but when I did it I began making friends. Out of those friends I found one or two really true ones. I learned it begins with me.
Thank you for the posting. Though what I have put in bold was in reference to making friends, I found that it is part of so many things in life.
That was very difficult for me to learn and decades passed before I would allow that I saw it cropping up over and over again....and before I really got it. Or more honestly, perhaps, before I would let myself accept it.
What's missing? Lots of things. A decent level of health for one. Friends. For the second time in my life I find that I have outlived all of my nearby friends, even ones fifteen years younger. But in large part I am happy, and because I learned what Minervah wrote. I am eighty, the idea of "missing" can seem to border on the silly at times.
I am too lazy to get up and look for the book, but a not very well known modern American poet wrote to the effect:
"When I thought our love might not last
the sun went right on shining...
At eighty one could begin with worse material than the sun shining.
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