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My wife's grandchildren live about 10 km away from us. Both her son and his wife work full time. We take care of their two children when: the parents can't balance their work schedules, when one or both kids or parents are sick, when they want to have a nigh/weekend off, and any emergency situations.
When we retire, we hope to move at least 8-10 hours from our daughter. She is too needy and needs to grow up. Too often grandparents are used as babysitters.
Sometimes a few hours away is too far. A trip back and forth becomes 6 hours of travel. If they don't have space to overnight it means a motel room. An unfriendly in-law can make problems too. If grandparents are still working, staying over is hard with work schedules.
If one moves to be closer, that often doesn't work. Grandkids go off to college. If there are 2nd marriages, sometimes grandkids are at other parent's houses. Kids change jobs and move.
It's very difficult. Wonderful if all can live close, although I know someone who is very close and got stuck with all the raising/babysitting of little baby while parents go off to work. She's sorry she didn't set boundaries in the beginning.
We do the best we can, get together when we can, try to stay close with email, text, phone, letters, gifts. I think it takes personal contact to build the close relationship, though. One family father away is not nearly as close. Both generations need to want that relationship for it to work.
My grandchildren are grown and already scattered in different degrees from their own parents. I have one great grandchild that I will probably never see. I hear about him and see pictures from his grandmother, my daughter.
When my grandchildren were small, airplane tickets were cheap and flying was still fun. I was present at the birth of most and made frequent visits. We bought plane tickets for the kids when the prices were good. They liked coming home. I usually watched the grands while the kids visited with their friends.
And then the children started to be able to buy their own plane tickets. I remember the year my son and his wife went to Cancun instead of coming home. The grandchildren had increasingly busy lives. I started feeling in the way when I went to visit.
I think its a natural progression, at least in some families. We are still in touch but its a tenuous connection. I don't think things would have been any different if we had lived closer. I agree that a few hours away is not close enough to make a difference. One child who lived a few hours away was more difficult to spend time with than others who only required a 30 minute trip to the airport.
I try not to let it bother me. We are all relatively content in our separate live.
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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About 25 miles, 35 minutes without traffic. That may increase by about double in a few years when we take advantage of the equity to sell and pay cash for a smaller home on more land in a lower cost area. Yes, we are staying here longer to be closer since they are still at such fun ages.
Just curious how far everyone lives from their Grandchildren.
And if your Grandchildren play any part in where you live
HappyEaster Everyone!
1200 miles away. I doubt any of them know I’m still alive, which was their parent’s choice, made many years ago. I haven’t seen any of them for at least 8 years.
15 minutes. We aren't retired yet; live where we raised our kids. So no, that didn't play a part. We only have one grandkid so far, 3-1/2 years old, and luckily daughter chose to live nearby. If they decided to move I'd have to reevaluate, but I can't see living too far away from my granddaughter. She adores me and I adore her; it would break both our hearts.
I know the time is coming when she will be too cool to want to hang out with grandma, but right now she thinks I am the best thing ever so I'm enjoying it while I can!
A mile.
We lived in a cabin fairly remotely and when our last daughter went off to college it got lonely way out there. We eventually opted to move into the nearest city (Spokane) near our oldest daughter and SIL and our grandson.
It was the perfect decision. Youngest graduated college and our home is large so she is living rent free while attending grad school. It’s a great situation for all.
I live with my daughter, son in law and 2 grands. My other two daughters and their children live ten minutes away. It is great for me and my family is happy. We set boundaries and share expenses. Living in a high cost of living area it is a benefit to all. And I get to be part of my grands lives on a daily basis which suits me. This arrangement started when we decided to help our daughter save some money when her rental was being sold. Then my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and died. They were invaluable helping me during my husband's illness. After we decided to make it permanent. My grands were 2 and 4. They are now 9 and 11. Our home is paid off and big enough we each have our own space. For us it works. Taking the 6 grands (9 to 22) to WDW this June.
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