Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I was working to help a friend in crisis today and took only a few moments to respond (spelled badly) but this subject interests me a great deal. Like I said earlier, I doubt that lightning in my case could strike again if DH passed before me. I lived as a single for a good part of my 20s to 35 and I'm pretty independent. I'm not an easy match. I might be interested with a friends with benefits arrangement, someone for companionship, travel partner and the like but I'd be looking within my own or slightly younger age group for that, like FlightAttendant. I'm financially independent, am retired from a career that most men would be proud of and have no desire to be a nurse or purse. I watched my mother nurse two husbands and I would be there to the end with my DH but I'd be pretty resistant to another marriage.
Taking on a new man in his 70s when I'm in my 60s? Highly doubtful unless there was a lot in that package. Sorry but that's how I'd look at it. Like other women have responded, many men from my generation (late 50s) and older have expectations of women as housekeepers, cooks and social secretaries. Frankly most of women my age and older have had our fill of this. Another issue is men from the generation ahead of me tend not to be good company. They either grunt answers when you get them to speak or they are on broadcast mode never listening to anyone else. I'll be battling to keep my lovely husband from turning into his "old grumpy poop" father who isn't interested in much except court TV and the newspaper. Frankly I won't live that way and I think I'm in the company of many if not the majority of women my age.
Aging is hard. I don't care who you are. OP your friend might be the nicest guy in the world but he needs to realistically take stock of what he brings to the table and adjust his outdated expectations to today's reality. I wish him luck.
When looking at the upper ages I don't see the big deal with sex on the first date. If both people are healthy and able then why not. What are they saving it for?
Myself I have always thought the most dangerous time for a married man is when a woman has basically all she wants such as a house and kids. With the courts today a man can be reduced to a ATM.
As for men looking for a cook and maid I suggest moving to Las Vegas which has many buffets and hiring a housekeeper to clean. This companion thing sounds like the way to go.
For the last 10 years, I have been in a great relationship. He is 12 years younger than me. He is financially set, but so am I. He is tidy, he can cook, he loves to travel, he is frisky. To top it all off, he does not want to tie the knot any more than I do. We are faithful to one another. We have two homes... but we spend about 50% of our time together. Perfect. Not too much, not too little. We both love to travel..and we go all over the world.
I think we have the best of all worlds...friendship, romance, adventure and a bit of space. Two homes, one relationship.
It's a mixed bag. Some woman will never stop looking for a suitable mate. Others would rather not, as they don't want the added responsibility of caring for someone else. I think there are enough of both mind sets to satisfy most men. Then of course there's love. It can happen at any age and then plans may go out the window.
You know they always depict older woman on the hunt for a companion in later years, but I have found that men are much more needing of finding a new mate than vise versa. Though men seeking a new woman in later life, usually get their request filled pretty quickly as a rule.
A guy I was talking to told me about this player move. His friend hooked up with a younger woman. Married her and put her through nursing school so now at his older age about 80 he has a live in nurse. She's about 20-25 years younger than him.
A true long term player who had a vision..
I'm sure she makes sure his life insurance policy is current.
one thought OP....your friend in his 70's should look for a woman in her 70's rather than women in their 60's and see if his luck changes
It could well be, in many cases, more like women in their 30s...and that may be why some women don't bother, they feel they can't compete with a man's fantasy.
I don't find this to be a commonly held view at all. Nearly every single woman I know in her 60s or 70s doesn't think so either. The entity (if any) pushing that notion would be the media.
Many women in this age bracket do not want to be "taking care of a man" or anyone else in their older years. They have the idea that a man will expect fixed meals and most if not all of the housework and shopping (*yes, I know there are men who do all this, I'm just speaking generally). They may fear having to be the prime personal caretaker during illness and decline (*). They may not want to mix their finances in a possible legal marriage, if dating leads to that. Personalities are greatly fixed at this age, so there's that, the risk of incompatibility, then rejection/breakup. I could go on, but that's the gist.
This. Ditto.
I think it's more work for the woman in a marriage or relationship than for a man.
My brother is near 65 and has run into women in his age bracket who don't want to get married or even have a relationship. He's baffled by it.
What it is..is...the worm turns when we're older. You know how men don't want to commit or get tangled up in relationships when they're young, but women want to settle down and nest? It's the opposite, when we get older. Older men often want to marry or have a relationship, while women are fine on their own and may not want to get involved. I think men do better in a marriage than on their own.
If your friend keeps looking, he'll find someone. (Make sure she has her own money and doesn't want to get her hands on your friend's life savings.)
It's hard when we're older. We are no longer the firm, handsome (or lithe, pretty) youngsters we once were. It's harder to be sexually attracted to an older person. Not impossible, but not the hubba hubba thing that a young handsome man (or a sexy ingenue) stirs in the opposite sex. And older men so often don't take care of themselves! What's up with that? Many still eat like they're 25 and don't exercise!
Well, duh . . . if you are many (if not most) men who do judge women by their covers!
Thank goodness there are some men out there (like my husband) who love their wives even if they aren't current candidates for Playboy.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
