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What am I missing in this photo? He's doesn't look mean or surly, he's just not flashing a big smile. My own 12-year-old is the same if he's not interested in taking a picture.
This whole thing is a tragedy. My heart aches for all of the victims, including the parents of the shooter, who have now lost two boys. Obviously something was off, but I'm not ready to put them in the same category as the parents of the Michigan school shooter, who later went on the lam.
I just can't see how the parents of these children that committed mass murders didn't see the signs ahead of time.
Maybe I was considered a helicopter parent but I just feel that we have a right (and a duty) to know what our children are doing and to take certain measures to mitigate the chances that our children are not going down the wrong path that could cause harm to others or themselves. For instance, I didn't care if anyone thought I was being "snoopy" because I looked at my children's phones/computers because that is a privilege that I bestowed upon them when they acted appropriately. It's also something that would be taken away if/when it was used inappropriately. Same thing with a car and many other things. I remember even taking my daughter's car away when she was in college due to a "choice" she made in dating a boy that had a criminal record.
It was also a duty of mine to be PRESENT in raising them. It's only 18 years that they are considered a minor. If you want to have children you need to realize that it is a full time commitment especially for those 18 years. It doesn't mean drinking wine every night and/or turning a blind eye on what is really going on because you don't want to handle it and you would just prefer to escape from the stresses that life brings including raising children.
In regards to weapons, how does a child (age 15) have access to guns and ammo (they even had reports about possible hand grenades)? Do they belong to the parents? If so why weren't they kept in a secured place?
I have no problem with guns owned by responsible adults. I have MAJOR issues though with parents that aren't responsible gun owners. We hear over an over again how the car thief criminals are getting guns out of people's cars or how a child found a gun at their house and was showing a friend which resulted in a horrific "accident". Then we hear about some of these mass murderers where the parents KNEW that the child had access to weapons (guns, knives etc) but yet did nothing even when they KNEW they had some mental issues! When are we going to start holding more of these parents accountable (I've only heard about one which hasn't gone to trial yet)??
While we don't any of the details yet in this case, I hope that if they are found to be negligent that they are also held responsible whether that be in criminal or civil court (or both).
And what a sad world we are living in where people just out walking their dog on a beautiful afternoon or a police officer just heading out to be on duty are being shot dead! I still can't wrap my head around this.
What am I missing in this photo? He's doesn't look mean or surly, he's just not flashing a big smile. My own 12-year-old is the same if he's not interested in taking a picture.
This whole thing is a tragedy. My heart aches for all of the victims, including the parents of the shooter, who have now lost two boys. Obviously something was off, but I'm not ready to put them in the same category as the parents of the Michigan school shooter, who later went on the lam.
When a mom says "maybe one day he will smile" that sorta says a whole heck of a lot.
And you don't need to go to the MI example extreme to make the argument. I would assume these parents are crushed. To your point they have lost two sons. But I sure hope if you (royal you) have a kid at home that has what I call "the dead eyes" (common trait with the mass shooters going back to Columbine when I was in HS), you state on FB you hope he smiles one day and you have a firearm in the house that presumably they can get to.....chit it don't take a PhD to run to a logical conclusion.
They don't have to go on the lam to be unengaged parents of a kid who seems like he needed something. 15 and you are so mad you kill 5 people including your brother? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say some obvious signs were missed.
My son is 6, 1st grade. COVID set him back developmentally. He used to "shut down" in Kindergarten (he assumed teacher instruction was "he was in trouble because an adult was telling him to do something")....he is in therapy now.
Head down on a table....and our corrective action was "lets do therapy to supplement our home life with a professional who can help him learn coping mechanisms".
As the joke about Ike Turner goes.....no one beats your ass with a steel chair the first time they beat you. No 15 year goes from run of the mill 15 year old to murdering 5 people the first time they act out.
Wow.. Raleigh is the last place I expected to hear about something crazy like this happening.
That's a dangerous way to think in 2022 and beyond. Indiscriminate mass firearm attacks can, have, and will happen anywhere, any time. They've happened in daycares, elementary schools, middle schools, high schools, community colleges, 4 year universities, on military bases, at malls, grocery stores, Walmarts, movie theaters, churches, restaurants, night clubs, concerts, random workplaces (i.e., FedEx, municipal transportation authority, brewery etc.), outdoor/neighborhood birthday parties, bowling alleys, the list goes on. They've occured in big/big-ish cities (Washington DC, New York City, Orlando, Las Vegas, El Paso, Buffalo San Bernardino, Charleston, etc.), suburbs (Littleton, Aurora CO, Aurora IL, Newtown, Parkland, etc) and small towns (Sutherland Springs, Uvalde, Roseburg, Red Lake, Jonesboro, etc). They can happen at any time of the day or night. It's dangerous to think that, just because you live in [location], that it can't or won't happen in [location]. I know it seems like this is the sort of thing that always happens to "someone else"...but, we're all "someone else" to someone else. This won't be the last time, either. How can it be? Could be in Durham, Indianapolis, Boise, Conway, Ward, or literally anywhere. Could be 5 people, or 10, or 20, or 80. Only one way to find out- change absolutely nothing and just wait for it.
Another sad day in the USA. My heart breaks for those families.
Some of the judgment displayed on this thread is why people with children who are struggling often feel very isolated which doesn't help the situation. I guess it makes people feel better to think that something like this couldn't happen to them. Very easy to Monday morning quaterback though. But I'm going to assume for now this boy's parents wanted what's best for their kid and were trying their best until I know otherwise. I'll need more than a first day of school facebook post. There but for the grace of God and all that.
What am I missing in this photo? He's doesn't look mean or surly, he's just not flashing a big smile. My own 12-year-old is the same if he's not interested in taking a picture.
This whole thing is a tragedy. My heart aches for all of the victims, including the parents of the shooter, who have now lost two boys. Obviously something was off, but I'm not ready to put them in the same category as the parents of the Michigan school shooter, who later went on the lam.
Two things
The mom posted "maybe Austin will smile one day" - maybe she meant for photos, maybe she meant "ever".
Kids don't want their photos taken and posted on FB - but mom has to get that picture on there because otherwise the friends might think something is amiss. Well something was amiss. Maybe she should have paid more attention to her kid than what her friends might think of her absence from social media.
Some of the judgment displayed on this thread is why people with children who are struggling often feel very isolated which doesn't help the situation. I guess it makes people feel better to think that something like this couldn't happen to them. Very easy to Monday morning quaterback though. But I'm going to assume for now this boy's parents wanted what's best for their kid and were trying their best until I know otherwise. There but for the grace of God and all that. Not vilifying anyone over a first day of school facebook post.
Right because in the history of mass shooters in this country "his parents did everything they could to help" is such a common back story.
When a mom says "maybe one day he will smile" that sorta says a whole heck of a lot.
And you don't need to go to the MI example extreme to make the argument. I would assume these parents are crushed. To your point they have lost two sons. But I sure hope if you (royal you) have a kid at home that has what I call "the dead eyes" (common trait with the mass shooters going back to Columbine when I was in HS), you state on FB you hope he smiles one day and you have a firearm in the house that presumably they can get to.....chit it don't take a PhD to run to a logical conclusion.
They don't have to go on the lam to be unengaged parents of a kid who seems like he needed something. 15 and you are so mad you kill 5 people including your brother? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say some obvious signs were missed.
My son is 6, 1st grade. COVID set him back developmentally. He used to "shut down"in Kindergarten (he assumed teacher instruction was "he was in trouble because and adult was telling him to do something")....he is in therapy now.
Head down on a table....and our corrective action was "lets do therapy to supplement our home life with a professional who can help him learn coping mechanisms".
As the joke about Ike Turner goes.....no one beats your ass with a steel chair the first time they beat you. No 15 year goes from run of the mill 15 year old to murdering 5 people the first time they act out.
Excellent and succint post (as usual).
Again - parenting matters. I have two kids who have been to therapy. This would surprise most people who know them. Like getting a horse into the starting gate to get them to go. Both were turned around after TWO sessions.
Parents don't want to do the hard work of parenting. And it is very hard work, 24/7/365 forever. And ever. But that's what you sign off on and you cannot take your foot off the gas, your eye off the ball, whatever cliche you want to use. As GVoR said, this kid was displaying signs. They got missed. That's on a couple people. And no I'm not giving them a pass because something mattered more to those people than their kids. And now - again - a bunch of people are dead.
FYI there is a man with the same name as the dad who is a fierarm educator. If it is the same guy, like many, he probably didn't heed his own safety advice.
The mom posted "maybe Austin will smile one day" - maybe she meant for photos, maybe she meant "ever".
Kids don't want their photos taken and posted on FB - but mom has to get that picture on there because otherwise the friends might think something is amiss. Well something was amiss. Maybe she should have paid more attention to her kid than what her friends might think of her absence from social media.
Right. It's hard to know, but in context of a first-day photo, if I had seen this back in August, I'm thinking it's the bolded.
I completely agree something was wrong, and signs were missed. It's just hard to know if this photo was an obvious sigh. (I've seen it mentioned elsewhere.) But it's a very small point. I'm assuming there are no other children.
Again - parenting matters. I have two kids who have been to therapy. This would surprise most people who know them. Like getting a horse into the starting gate to get them to go. Both were turned around after TWO sessions.
Parents don't want to do the hard work of parenting. And it is very hard work, 24/7/365 forever. And ever. But that's what you sign off on and you cannot take your foot off the gas, your eye off the ball, whatever cliche you want to use. As GVoR said, this kid was displaying signs. They got missed. That's on a couple people. And no I'm not giving them a pass because something mattered more to those people than their kids. And now - again - a bunch of people are dead.
FYI there is a man with the same name as the dad who is a fierarm educator. If it is the same guy, like many, he probably didn't heed his own safety advice.
GVoR has visions of the viral video of the cop leading a shooting instruction at a gun range where the cop shoots the ceiling accidentally while giving a verbal instruction and when asked "did you mean to do that?!" replies "ya!"
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