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I've lived in a lot of different states over the years, and when I think back over my experiences, what comes to mind is not so much the places I've lived, but the people I've gotten to know in those places. The places where I have been the happiest have also been the places where I had some of the best relationships.
Many people told us when we first moved here that this was a great area to live, just around 2+ hrs. From the beach and 3+ hrs.
Here's my 2 cents. I think a lot of people are in the same boat as me in the regard that I moved here for work; I wasn't born here, and I didn't choose this area of the world b/c of one geographical/aesthetic advantage. I grew up in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia, and I truly believe it is where I will return to someday. This love of my "home" makes it very easy for me to go, "Ugh, where are the mountains? Where's the elevation change?!?" when thinking about our home here in Durham.
Truly the best advice I can give you is to GET YOUR DUCKS IN A ROW. If you don't like it here (I don't necessarily, at least not all the time), start setting your sights on somewhere else. If you don't know where that other place is right away, make it into a project! Plan weekend trips to places you've never been, and then just go. I'm not talking about places you'd necessarily like to "visit"; I'm talking about a place you've perhaps read about or researched, and possibly see yourself living in. What's going to be important to you once you get there? Schools? Job sustainability? Scenery? Nightlife? No one on this board can give you an answer to that. I know you're just looking for others' feelings and experiences, just don't forget that no one's going to be able to give you a hard and fast answer to your dilemma.
I think CHTransplant hit it on the head:
Quote:
what comes to mind is not so much the places I've lived, but the people I've gotten to know in those places. The places where I have been the happiest have also been the places where I had some of the best relationships.
Wherever you're going to live, you need to make sure there things there you can see yourself getting involved with. Meeting like-minded people and becoming part of a community can happen anywhere!
According to a friend who has been married half a dozen times, each spouse had his pluses and minuses but overall her Happiness Quotient has been the same.
I suspect that it is the same with finding the ideal place. People move south to get away from the winters then find the summers oppressive. They move to a quiet place to get away from the high prices and hustle and bustle of the big city then find themselves bored out of their gourds.
Halfway between the mountains and the ocean, means you get neither. Which one do you want?
We moved here to get away from ice and snow and live near two of our daughters. Great winters here but haven't seen either daughter in weeks. Thinking there are a lot of places with nice winters.
The good news is that houses are selling like hotcakes now.
Neighbors have just sold their and are moving to Costa Rica. Doesn't that sound nice?
Wow, thanks for reply really appreciate the fact that you didn't get sarcastic. as some do ! In part I do miss our children. one in NYC, the other back in South Florida where she was born and raised 27 yrs. ago.... many have told me that moving to where their children are, sometimes backfires on them, but for me its just knowing that family is there if you feel like taking a short ride to see them, and not a 8 or 10 hour drive depending on which child I go to visit ! If that makes sense?
Here's my 2 cents. I think a lot of people are in the same boat as me in the regard that I moved here for work; I wasn't born here, and I didn't choose this area of the world b/c of one geographical/aesthetic advantage. I grew up in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia, and I truly believe it is where I will return to someday. This love of my "home" makes it very easy for me to go, "Ugh, where are the mountains? Where's the elevation change?!?" when thinking about our home here in Durham.
Truly the best advice I can give you is to GET YOUR DUCKS IN A ROW. If you don't like it here (I don't necessarily, at least not all the time), start setting your sights on somewhere else. If you don't know where that other place is right away, make it into a project! Plan weekend trips to places you've never been, and then just go. I'm not talking about places you'd necessarily like to "visit"; I'm talking about a place you've perhaps read about or researched, and possibly see yourself living in. What's going to be important to you once you get there? Schools? Job sustainability? Scenery? Nightlife? No one on this board can give you an answer to that. I know you're just looking for others' feelings and experiences, just don't forget that no one's going to be able to give you a hard and fast answer to your dilemma.
I think CHTransplant hit it on the head:
Wherever you're going to live, you need to make sure there things there you can see yourself getting involved with. Meeting like-minded people and becoming part of a community can happen anywhere!
Best of luck with the search
Thanks so much for your thoughts ! Much appreciated !
Willow Springs after NYC and Ft. Lauderdale? Yes, I can imagine you think you are in the middle of nowhere!
I guess by that criteria Chicago is the middle of nowhere too.
Honestly, I am sorry you're so unhappy here. I hope you find your happy place soon. And then go there.
Hi, but like I said we lived in the heart of Raleigh as well, I am speaking overall, this entire area is not what "I" had hoped for, thats all I was trying to say.... one can not decide what it will be like to live in any chosen new city in just a few weeks time, everything is usually great the first year or two, then reality sets in. Unfortunately, this is the city that was offered to me when I had requested a transfer, and like I said it was OK 6 yrs ago, ironically, I retired from the Company just 3 years after moving up here, which was not in my plan originally, but thanks to AT&T downsizing etc !!!!
Retired at 46 and moved to Willow Spring almost 10 years ago, very satisfied with the move. Having lived in NJ for those years it was a pleasure to come to this great state. We always vacationed at the Outer Banks and ventured over this way to look at property while in NC. We were fortunate enough to find a nice piece of property in a great sub-division of new homes in a country setting,peace and quiet, nature all around, large garden, etc. Don't give up on all this area has to offer, you will enjoy the peace and quiet as time goes on. Other area's can always be visited. Best of luck.
HI, thanks for your reply, do you mind me asking you the name of your Sub-Division?
Before you are beat up due to you posting this same sentiment over and over again, I'd like to offer this up...
We are in a seller's market. NOW is the time to SELL.
I'm not being sarcastic. I lived with a mother who HATED the place my dad's job moved us to. I heard it every day. My brothers and sister and I loved the small town that we grew up in but we had nothing else to compare it to. I hated that my mom was MISERABLE. Years later, she and my dad moved back. They lived there for a few years and then moved back to NC. NOW she loves it.
Part of what changed was HER. Or is that SHE? Anyway, you can CHOOSE to make things better or do nothing and constantly complain and nothing WILL change.
As always, I wish you the best because "I" really feel bad for people that aren't happy in their life.
Vicki
Thanks Vicki, I appreciate you taking the time to give me your opinion and not "Bash" me as I was expecting...don't get me wrong, I love our spacious beautiful home here in our sub-division, just have been dissapointed a lot with the new families/empty nesters, that have since moved into this sub-division. We were the 4th family to move into this community and it has finally grown 6 or 7 times bigger than when we moved in here 4 yrs ago, but most of the neighbors are just the hello & wave type (if that), inspite of reaching out and inviting a few neighbors over our house, its just weird... and as far as I know we have always been very friendy & likeable people, its like they are not interested in making new friends, one couple down right told us at the community pool once " we kind of stick to ourselves" WOW... I mean really? The first time we grew a small vegetable my wife brought neighbors on the Cul-De-Sac vegetables like June Clever, (LoL) thats prpbably the last ti,e she spoke with them, anyway..... If nothing else I got to vent, thanks to this Forum. Sorry If I gave you an ear-full . Take Care
I think in this instance "regret" is too strong of a word. Life is about experiences.
I grew up in Boston, lived in WPB for 5 years and came here. Am I going to be here forever? Heck no! But at this stage in my life, it is a good fit. I am sure that I will be back up in the Boston area in 5-6 years. I miss the people, culture, hustle and bustle of city life.
I have a buddy who was born and bred here. He asked why I wanted to move back. I told him it's not that one place is "better" than the other. Both have pluses and both have minuses. Too many times we get into the "this place is better than that place" argument or... if you're so unhappy here move... that we don't really step back and realize that there is nothing to "regret" but rather open our eyes to the fact that experiencing "different" things is a good thing.
Hi, Thanks bud, I don't totally regret moving here, it was/is an experiance, I really wish my feelings will change at some point soon, I thought that this would have been our last move for a long time but just 6 years into it, I doubt this will be our "last" stop ! I guess that expression holds true, "you can take the guy out of a big city, but you can never take the big city out of the guy"..... LoL
Remember that if you have adult children moving close to them might not work out. Husbands get better job opportunities elsewhere and they will be gone.
Remember that if you have adult children moving close to them might not work out. Husbands get better job opportunities elsewhere and they will be gone.
Wives might get better job opportunities elsewhere, too.
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Wives might get better job opportunities elsewhere, too.
