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I had a life story which you could find the same with many unlucky women who suffered.....
so i finally get this issue, i feel disconnected with myself,
when i m dating a man, i m more attracted to a feminine man now, i can see and feel the female goddess inside him, and that is so beautiful and i like it very much.
I also have beautiful female friends but when i with them i can't feel or see the goddess in her/them, why ?
and i also feel my yang is weird inside me,
so i m wondering,
what is yin, what is yang,
How to rebuild my inner yin/goddess, and my yang?
I feel i lost them, and it makes me empty and low energy.
Yin is the feminine and yang is the masculine. What goddess do you recognize in males. The natural flow of energy is the yin and yang as one.
Yes, i know this,
i just feel my energy drained, both of them, maybe.....
i m a survivor of abuse, i was abused in different horrible ways, and it is still affecting my life my energy body,
so......
I feel this belongs in the spirituality or philosophy thread.
But to answer your question, as a survivor of abuse, first things first, seek counseling. Also, meditate, research about yin and yang energies, chakras, etc. the internet is a powerful tool. I don't know where you are living, but try to see if there are any new age shops nearby, see if there are any spiritual fest going on throughout the year, like Mind Body Spirit Expo for example. Maybe look up yoga classes which has a spiritual focus along with health. Buti Yoga is AMAZING! Take dancing classes, spend time outside or paint.
I can relate to the "lost" feeling, you have lost yourself because you have lost your connection to "source", now i am not saying go and get religious or spiritual on me, but it is good to have some faith, something that keeps you going, something that gives you a reason to wake up in the morning, ya know, besides the typical morning grind we all got to do. We all need to find something that makes us happy and not anyone else happy and is not about pleasing others. Have you thought of seeing a shaman, medium, or psychic intuitive or life coach? I think a reiki master would be a good step for you, try to find one...they work with healing energy and maybe can point you in the right direction.
I don't buy into the whole yin/yang, inner goddess thing. To me, it's really about feeling secure and in control of the things that I can control.
I think you would benefit hugely from counseling/therapy. Abuse's effects are not stuff you should tackle alone.
But, as someone who is fairly successful despite my severe ADD, I do have some things I do when I feel like I need to regain my "power" in my life as it were:
1) Meditation. It calms my brain and helps me order my thoughts.
2) Bullet journaling - I'm new to it, but it helps me itemize things and brainstorm about what I can do to improve upon my mental state. I have a to-do list, but also lists of what makes me happy, what I'm grateful for, etc.
3) Spend time with good people - my friends are a solid bunch of people. I reach out to them when I'm feeling like I'm losing my grip.
4) Treat myself well: I feel better when I can exercise, spend time in nature, read, eat healthy and get enough sleep. I schedule things pretty strictly when I'm on one of these kicks.
5) Indulge a little. I'll watch a little tv or movies or take a long hot bath or spend time enjoying a bowl of ice cream. A little sensuality never hurt anyone.
6) Appreciate. I spend a lot of time being in the moment and appreciating my experiences. The park where I take the dogs has a lot of gorgeous scenery - I give myself a moment to acknowledge and appreciate it. On vacation, I had a lot of similar moments, where I just kind of let myself acknowledge how awesome what I was seeing actually was. I appreciate my friends. I appreciate the meals I prepare. I appreciate my accomplishments when I do well at work or solve a problem for someone. It sounds narcissistic, but patting yourself on the back on occasion doesn't have to be a act of smugness.
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