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You don't just sign up for pills and they give them to you, at least where she lived. She had to talk to 2 doctors and have a relative and non-relative sign off on it. Takes about a month to go through the process. Then you get the pills.
I'm all in favor of it. I was an Alzheimer's caregiver. That convinced me.
The process is different in Canada. (I am an American in Canada in a relationship with a now-dying Canadian.) They don't hand you pills. It is administered intravenously.
Two years ago, my bf's aunt died via MAiD, Medical Assistance in Dying, which became available in Canada in 2016. Last month I met his cousin, who told me about her mother's death process.
Her mother had cancer that was treated some years ago, and when MAiD became law, she said it was a good thing and that if her cancer ever returned, she would not get treatment again but instead would die through the system. So when she began to have stomach pain, she told her daughter, "If this turns out to be cancer, I am going to not get treatment and will just die with the doctor's help when the pain gets too bad to live with." Sure enough, that's exactly what happened.
When the time came, she requested MAiD through her doctor. They are not allowed to offer it to you. You have to make the first move. (There was a case in Quebec wherein a Veteran's Agency staff member suggested it to a paraplegic veteran who had no interest in dying--in fact, she participated in para-Olympic events--and was fired when it was discovered she did this to other vets.)
There are rules, of course, paperwork to be processed. You have to be terminally ill or so disabled or on your way to permanent disability as to have no quality of life. You have to have provincial health insurance (i.e., no death tourism for foreigners). But the cousin said the whole thing took about ten days. You choose your date of death and who you want present.
So, the day before, she told me, a box arrived at her mother's house. It was the drugs that would end her life. She called the doctor, and he said just set them aside for me for tomorrow. Then a nurse came to the house, also the day before, to put a port in both arms, the second one in case the first one fails.
The children and grandchildren gathered at the house the night before. The cousin said, "Hey, Mom, is there anything in particular you want for dinner tonight?" Her mother's eyes lit up and she said, "YES, KFC." She said, "So there we were, so surreal, sitting around and eating fried chicken for our mother's last meal."
The next day the doctor came, the family gathered around, her mother said, "If anyone is going to get hysterical or upset, leave the room now. I don't want to hear it."
When the time came, she asked all but one grandchild to go in the other room (that grandchild is a physician herself) and her three children to stay. The doctor then gave her a sedative that put her out, and then administered the drugs that ended her life. The whole process took ten minutes.
Then the doctor calls the selected funeral home and simply reports that a death has occurred in the home and the body needs to be picked up.
Canada is currently reviewing expanding the idea of offering MAiD to those with mental illnesses who have had no success with treatment. It is controversial and the decision has been pushed back for further review. It should be noted that this is different from just wanting to commit suicide and asking the government to help you do it. Suicide ideation is considered something that can possibly be treated. This is for people with severe depression who cannot function and do not respond to treatment, people with schizophrenia not helped by drugs, etc. But it's a blurry line, and many people are questioning how a determination can be made that there is no hope.
My BF is eligible for MAiD. He is incapacitated and terminally ill, although the underlying cancer is not really doing much compared to the secondary condition it caused. Look up paraneoplastic cerebellar degeneration if you are you curious. He rarely eats and weighs very little now. When his nurse asked him if he was not eating in order to starve himself, he said, "I want to go." She said, "We have better ways to do that, you know" but on her way out she said, "Has he ever mentioned MAiD? I am not allowed to suggest it." I told her I knew that and that he is well aware of it, since his aunt died that way and he watches the news all day long and MAiD has received a lot of coverage lately as the debate over expanding it goes on. But he has not asked. I am not sure how I would feel if he does. I would support any decision he makes, but it's not easy. I hate seeing him trapped in this useless body, but I don't want to say goodbye, either.
However, I firmly believe the option should exist.
The process is different in Canada. (I am an American in Canada in a relationship with a now-dying Canadian.) They don't hand you pills. It is administered intravenously.******
However, I firmly believe the option should exist.
The Canadian method seems to have a lot to recommend it. Not being an expert in the area I personally think the Canadian method is better than the "American" method.
My own situation was different since in 1973 there was no Death With Dignity movement. On the night of December 31, 1972 my mother took me, then 15, to New Rochelle Hospital to visit my father. His legs were waving in the air and he was unconscious. He was at the end of a battle with colorectal cancer that started in August 1971. The IV feeding tubes had been disconnected since he was supposedly flailing too much for them to safely remain in. My mother and I approved this move. His sister came in later that night, apparently drunk, in a New Years Eve gown, and ordered the tubes reconnected. Though he died in the wee hours on January 5, 1973, it took me a long time to forgive her unwanted intervention.
Three vignettes from a Time Magazine (link) essay are of note:
I am a broken piece of machinery. I am ready.− Last words of Woodrow Wilson, Jan. 31,1924
Last December Eugene Bauer, 59, was admitted to Nassau County Medical Center on Long Island with cancer of the throat. Five days later he was in a coma and given only two days to live. Then, charges the district attorney, Dr. Vincent A. Montemarano, 33, injected an overdose of potassium chloride into Bauer's veins. Bauer died within five minutes. Montemarano listed the cause of death as cancer, but prosecutors now say that it was a "mercy killing" and have accused the doctor of murder.
When Sigmund Freud was 83, he had suffered from cancer of the jaw for 16 years and undergone 33 operations. "Now it is nothing but torture," he concluded, "and makes no sense any more." He had a pact with Max Schur, his physician. "When he was again in agony," Schur reported, "I gave him two centigrams of morphine. I repeated this dose after about twelve hours. He lapsed into a coma and did not wake up again." Freud died with dignity at his chosen time. Dr. Schur's decision was, in the end, relatively easy.
I remembered the Montemarano story from news coverage that started around the time my father died, since the "mercy killing" was done December 7, 1972. Spoiler alert: he was acquitted in February 1974. At the time I was aghast that they were prosecuting him, and in favor of his acquittal.
I totally agree. I think it's a waste of time to become a vegetable, incontinent and unable to enjoy life. If we add dementia to the equation, please kill me now. I heard that Oregon has such a law, but I am not sure. I think Switzerland has such a law for sure. Don't know about France. Anyway, if I cant do it here, I'll go to Europe. I'll think about that when Im 70.
Canada has MAID (Medical Assistace In Dying) law throughout the country. USA is such an advanced country, why can't they make such law for the whole country?
I'm 100% for it. I'd seen a few people did this at work. I felt very sad. But looking at their physical and mental conditions, I think it was better for them. They did not have to suffer pains anymore. I think someday, if or when I get into their conditions, I will sign for MAID too. I don't want to live in pains, to be useless in bed, just eat and poop, and groaning and moaning for years and years. That's very painful for me. Death ends everything for the person in such condision. It's not selfish. It does good for understanding loved ones.
I think lots of people don't want to live in pains, but they are afraid of death. That's the problem.
Last edited by AnOrdinaryCitizen; 02-26-2023 at 08:05 AM..
Canada has MAID (Medical Assistace In Dying) law throughout the country. USA is such an advanced country, why can't they make such law for the whole country?
I'm 100% for it. I'd seen a few people did this at work. I felt very sad. But looking at their physical and mental conditions, I think it was better for them. They did not have to suffer pains anymore. I think someday, if or when I get into their conditions, I will sign for MAID too. I don't want to live in pains, to be useless in bed, just eat and poop, and groaning and moaning for years and years. That's very painful for me. Death ends everything for the person in such condision. It's not selfish. It does good for understanding loved ones.
I think lots of people don't want to live in pains, but they are afraid of death. That's the problem.
Different federal systems with different powers.
"States have the power to regulate, allow or prohibit assisted suicide. In 1997, in the cases of Washington v. Glucksberg and Vacco v. Quill, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled unanimously that there is no Constitutional right to assisted suicide, and that states therefore have the right to prohibit it."
The process is different in Canada. (I am an American in Canada in a relationship with a now-dying Canadian.) They don't hand you pills. It is administered intravenously.
Two years ago, my bf's aunt died via MAiD, Medical Assistance in Dying, which became available in Canada in 2016. Last month I met his cousin, who told me about her mother's death process.
Her mother had cancer that was treated some years ago, and when MAiD became law, she said it was a good thing and that if her cancer ever returned, she would not get treatment again but instead would die through the system. So when she began to have stomach pain, she told her daughter, "If this turns out to be cancer, I am going to not get treatment and will just die with the doctor's help when the pain gets too bad to live with." Sure enough, that's exactly what happened.
When the time came, she requested MAiD through her doctor. They are not allowed to offer it to you. You have to make the first move. (There was a case in Quebec wherein a Veteran's Agency staff member suggested it to a paraplegic veteran who had no interest in dying--in fact, she participated in para-Olympic events--and was fired when it was discovered she did this to other vets.)
There are rules, of course, paperwork to be processed. You have to be terminally ill or so disabled or on your way to permanent disability as to have no quality of life. You have to have provincial health insurance (i.e., no death tourism for foreigners). But the cousin said the whole thing took about ten days. You choose your date of death and who you want present.
So, the day before, she told me, a box arrived at her mother's house. It was the drugs that would end her life. She called the doctor, and he said just set them aside for me for tomorrow. Then a nurse came to the house, also the day before, to put a port in both arms, the second one in case the first one fails.
The children and grandchildren gathered at the house the night before. The cousin said, "Hey, Mom, is there anything in particular you want for dinner tonight?" Her mother's eyes lit up and she said, "YES, KFC." She said, "So there we were, so surreal, sitting around and eating fried chicken for our mother's last meal."
The next day the doctor came, the family gathered around, her mother said, "If anyone is going to get hysterical or upset, leave the room now. I don't want to hear it."
When the time came, she asked all but one grandchild to go in the other room (that grandchild is a physician herself) and her three children to stay. The doctor then gave her a sedative that put her out, and then administered the drugs that ended her life. The whole process took ten minutes.
Then the doctor calls the selected funeral home and simply reports that a death has occurred in the home and the body needs to be picked up.
Canada is currently reviewing expanding the idea of offering MAiD to those with mental illnesses who have had no success with treatment. It is controversial and the decision has been pushed back for further review. It should be noted that this is different from just wanting to commit suicide and asking the government to help you do it. Suicide ideation is considered something that can possibly be treated. This is for people with severe depression who cannot function and do not respond to treatment, people with schizophrenia not helped by drugs, etc. But it's a blurry line, and many people are questioning how a determination can be made that there is no hope.
My BF is eligible for MAiD. He is incapacitated and terminally ill, although the underlying cancer is not really doing much compared to the secondary condition it caused. Look up paraneoplastic cerebellar degeneration if you are you curious. He rarely eats and weighs very little now. When his nurse asked him if he was not eating in order to starve himself, he said, "I want to go." She said, "We have better ways to do that, you know" but on her way out she said, "Has he ever mentioned MAiD? I am not allowed to suggest it." I told her I knew that and that he is well aware of it, since his aunt died that way and he watches the news all day long and MAiD has received a lot of coverage lately as the debate over expanding it goes on. But he has not asked. I am not sure how I would feel if he does. I would support any decision he makes, but it's not easy. I hate seeing him trapped in this useless body, but I don't want to say goodbye, either.
However, I firmly believe the option should exist.
I've said it before, but you are one strong person.
The process is different in Canada. (I am an American in Canada in a relationship with a now-dying Canadian.) They don't hand you pills. It is administered intravenously.
Two years ago, my bf's aunt died via MAiD, Medical Assistance in Dying, which became available in Canada in 2016. Last month I met his cousin, who told me about her mother's death process.
Her mother had cancer that was treated some years ago, and when MAiD became law, she said it was a good thing and that if her cancer ever returned, she would not get treatment again but instead would die through the system. So when she began to have stomach pain, she told her daughter, "If this turns out to be cancer, I am going to not get treatment and will just die with the doctor's help when the pain gets too bad to live with." Sure enough, that's exactly what happened.
When the time came, she requested MAiD through her doctor. They are not allowed to offer it to you. You have to make the first move. (There was a case in Quebec wherein a Veteran's Agency staff member suggested it to a paraplegic veteran who had no interest in dying--in fact, she participated in para-Olympic events--and was fired when it was discovered she did this to other vets.)
There are rules, of course, paperwork to be processed. You have to be terminally ill or so disabled or on your way to permanent disability as to have no quality of life. You have to have provincial health insurance (i.e., no death tourism for foreigners). But the cousin said the whole thing took about ten days. You choose your date of death and who you want present.
So, the day before, she told me, a box arrived at her mother's house. It was the drugs that would end her life. She called the doctor, and he said just set them aside for me for tomorrow. Then a nurse came to the house, also the day before, to put a port in both arms, the second one in case the first one fails.
The children and grandchildren gathered at the house the night before. The cousin said, "Hey, Mom, is there anything in particular you want for dinner tonight?" Her mother's eyes lit up and she said, "YES, KFC." She said, "So there we were, so surreal, sitting around and eating fried chicken for our mother's last meal."
The next day the doctor came, the family gathered around, her mother said, "If anyone is going to get hysterical or upset, leave the room now. I don't want to hear it."
When the time came, she asked all but one grandchild to go in the other room (that grandchild is a physician herself) and her three children to stay. The doctor then gave her a sedative that put her out, and then administered the drugs that ended her life. The whole process took ten minutes.
Then the doctor calls the selected funeral home and simply reports that a death has occurred in the home and the body needs to be picked up.
Canada is currently reviewing expanding the idea of offering MAiD to those with mental illnesses who have had no success with treatment. It is controversial and the decision has been pushed back for further review. It should be noted that this is different from just wanting to commit suicide and asking the government to help you do it. Suicide ideation is considered something that can possibly be treated. This is for people with severe depression who cannot function and do not respond to treatment, people with schizophrenia not helped by drugs, etc. But it's a blurry line, and many people are questioning how a determination can be made that there is no hope.
My BF is eligible for MAiD. He is incapacitated and terminally ill, although the underlying cancer is not really doing much compared to the secondary condition it caused. Look up paraneoplastic cerebellar degeneration if you are you curious. He rarely eats and weighs very little now. When his nurse asked him if he was not eating in order to starve himself, he said, "I want to go." She said, "We have better ways to do that, you know" but on her way out she said, "Has he ever mentioned MAiD? I am not allowed to suggest it." I told her I knew that and that he is well aware of it, since his aunt died that way and he watches the news all day long and MAiD has received a lot of coverage lately as the debate over expanding it goes on. But he has not asked. I am not sure how I would feel if he does. I would support any decision he makes, but it's not easy. I hate seeing him trapped in this useless body, but I don't want to say goodbye, either.
However, I firmly believe the option should exist.
My friend didn't want her kids to watch her die. She didn't think they could handle it. She wanted them to find her dead. She lived with one of them. I guess he woke up, checked on mom and there she was.
I think a lot of people are like me. We just handle whatever comes. Even when we hate it.
I disagree. Many do step. up, but so many don't.
Hating it and still doing it, is strength.
I know from my own experience with helping my mother that some talk the talk, but don't walk the walk.
The odd thing is, when it was all over, some took credit, when they did nothing.
Kind of like the laziest person in the office who thinks they work the hardest.
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