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Old 10-14-2021, 06:50 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thrillobyte View Post
Sometimes I wonder if we were put on this earth only to be in pain, misery, loneliness, and suffering. Everywhere I look I see these negative qualities in the lives of millions of people-from the hundred of thousands of poverty refugees crowding other countries' borders to the millions starving to the millions suffering from the after effects of COVID to the sex slave trade to the poverty, disease and hunger in every nation on earth and on and on. Unhappiness is relentless and getting worse each day with extreme climate change coming upon us in 20-30 years. happiness and contentment seem like elusive dreams reserved only for the privileged 1%.

For most people starting from the bottom there seems to be no way anymore to climb the ladder out of poverty into success. The cost of living makes most struggle just to get a meal into their stomach let alone get a college education. Life shouldn't be like this and yet it is.
1. success, happiness, and contentment are not dependent on "money" or the "cost of living."
2. to say that only 1% of people have happiness and contentment, and that 99% of people do NOT have happiness and contentment is not the case at all.
3. in answer to the question in thread title "is life meant to be only for pain and misery" the answer is no. it is not.
4. happiness and contentment are an inside job.
5. learn how to be happy and content. HINT: it has nothing to do with what is "out there" outside of you, and everything to do with what is "in here" within you.
6. most people do not "struggle just to get a meal." that is also a skewed statement, and in my view is inaccurate and dramatically overstated.
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Old 10-14-2021, 06:55 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Driver 47 View Post
If all one sees in life is pain and misery you're bound to be a bitter, miserable person. Its not karma, its not fate or your "destiny" It's a choice. Some folk haven't figured it out. They're the ones complaining about their neighbors, or pets or house or relatives or jobs. The ironic thing is they're all complaining about things well within their control.
bold above
yes. this.
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Old 10-14-2021, 08:08 PM
 
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I've never believed in positive thinking but I have always believed in realistic thinking. I believe that life is what YOU make it. If you are suffering it is up to YOU to find a way out of your misery if you want to.

Of course some people are happy to groan and moan and complain. Logically that does no good at all. Shakespeare once wrote, nothing is either good or bad but thinking makes it so. I believe that. That's why you see a homeless man with a cheap bottle of wine as happy as a millionaire buying a yacht.

I learned long ago that the worst thing I could do to myself was to feel sorry for myself. Self pity is a crippling corrosive poison. It blinds you to happiness, to doing something to improve your situation and claim happiness. The truth is you can feel good or bad about the exact same thing or situation. It's up to you.

Happiness isn't a state of mind. It's a series of moments where you can feel pride in your accomplishment, even if it's just fixing a leaky faucet, or grateful for a good meal or a possession you own and enjoy, or being loved by a relative or a lover or a pet.

Thinking about the problems in the world is just mental garbage since you can't do anything about it anyway. Why not just think of all the good things available in the world instead? Why waste the most miraculous gift of life?
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Old 10-14-2021, 09:02 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bobspez View Post
I've never believed in positive thinking but I have always believed in realistic thinking. I believe that life is what YOU make it. If you are suffering it is up to YOU to find a way out of your misery if you want to.

Of course some people are happy to groan and moan and complain. Logically that does no good at all. Shakespeare once wrote, nothing is either good or bad but thinking makes it so. I believe that. That's why you see a homeless man with a cheap bottle of wine as happy as a millionaire buying a yacht.

I learned long ago that the worst thing I could do to myself was to feel sorry for myself. Self pity is a crippling corrosive poison. It blinds you to happiness, to doing something to improve your situation and claim happiness. The truth is you can feel good or bad about the exact same thing or situation. It's up to you.

Happiness isn't a state of mind. It's a series of moments where you can feel pride in your accomplishment, even if it's just fixing a leaky faucet, or grateful for a good meal or a possession you own and enjoy, or being loved by a relative or a lover or a pet.

Thinking about the problems in the world is just mental garbage since you can't do anything about it anyway. Why not just think of all the good things available in the world instead? Why waste the most miraculous gift of life?
excellent post. yes. all of it.

one of the most eye-opening experiences for me that caused a shift in my perspective in a major way, was the first time i travelled outside the company, in my early 20s, as a tourist. of course there was a huge disparity obvious between the living conditions of tourists from America, and every town we visited. what struck me though was not oh wow rich Americans and poor people in Central America. What struck me was even though everywhere we saw people who by USA standards were poor and in poverty, what struck me and has stayed with me ever since, is that i saw really happy people in those conditions.

there are people all over the world who are happy and don't have a lot.
it was clear as a bell. having a bunch of stuff is not necessary for people to be really, really happy.
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Old 10-14-2021, 11:01 PM
 
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Originally Posted by lookashiny View Post
But, again, that's not immutable. To shrugh and go "that's life" is to give up, imo. People can change life! It doesn't have to be dog-eat-dog!

Perhaps I should have said survival of the fittest.
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Old 10-14-2021, 11:08 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Driver 47 View Post
If all one sees in life is pain and misery you're bound to be a bitter, miserable person. Its not karma, its not fate or your "destiny" It's a choice. Some folk haven't figured it out. They're the ones complaining about their neighbors, or pets or house or relatives or jobs. The ironic thing is they're all complaining about things well within their control.

The 10,000 Haitians at our southern border certainly have a choice: they can turn around and return to the squalor they left behind or they can stay at the border until they are flown back to the squalor. And what things do children sold into bondage have well within their control? The people starving in Ethiopia, Somalia, Sudan, South Sudan, Kenya, and Uganda certainly have a choice, don't they?
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Old 10-15-2021, 12:13 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thrillobyte View Post
The 10,000 Haitians at our southern border certainly have a choice: they can turn around and return to the squalor they left behind or they can stay at the border until they are flown back to the squalor. And what things do children sold into bondage have well within their control? The people starving in Ethiopia, Somalia, Sudan, South Sudan, Kenya, and Uganda certainly have a choice, don't they?
the OP said 99% of humanity is miserable
and only 1% of people find happiness and contentment.

that is wildly off the mark.
and regarding the post above, no, 99% of the people in the world are not sold into bondage or starving or living in squalor.
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Old 10-15-2021, 12:28 AM
 
22,141 posts, read 19,198,797 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thrillobyte View Post
Sometimes I wonder if we were put on this earth only to be in pain, misery, loneliness, and suffering. Everywhere I look I see these negative qualities in the lives of millions of people-from the hundred of thousands of poverty refugees crowding other countries' borders to the millions starving to the millions suffering from the after effects of COVID to the sex slave trade to the poverty, disease and hunger in every nation on earth and on and on. Unhappiness is relentless and getting worse each day with extreme climate change coming upon us in 20-30 years. happiness and contentment seem like elusive dreams reserved only for the privileged 1%.



For most people starting from the bottom there seems to be no way anymore to climb the ladder out of poverty into success. The cost of living makes most struggle just to get a meal into their stomach let alone get a college education. Life shouldn't be like this and yet it is.
if you see pain misery loneliness, suffering and negative conditions everywhere you look, then that is a statement about what you choose to see. if you experience relentless unhappiness that gets worse each day, that is your inner state. it belongs to you. and it is your responsibility. no one else, nothing else, is responsible for cultivating your inner state. that rests squarely on you and not on anything else.

guess what. consider this: there are people on this same earth as you who see goodness, beauty, kindness, appreciation and other positive qualities everywhere they look. there are people who experience happiness, peace and contentment as their normal natural state, every day, and with each passing day their contentment and peace deepens and strengthens.

living on the same earth as you, with the same world events happening, the same ups and downs in their own life.
and yet they see it very, very differently.
think about it. think about how and why that might be.

Last edited by Tzaphkiel; 10-15-2021 at 12:37 AM..
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Old 10-15-2021, 12:41 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thrillobyte View Post
I see responses ranging from naturalism (we are animals) to cokeyed optimism to optimism to practical-ism to the Buddhist philosophy to pessimism. Being a pragmatist I favor the pessimism and pragmatic. Life is good for the well-to-do 10%. For the other 90% of us it's dog-eat-dog. It shouldn't be that way but as one responder said, "It is what it is." That's life.
"life is good" does not require being well to do.
being rich, being well to do, does not assure or bestow or provide contentment, happiness, peace of mind.

it really is that simple.
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Old 10-15-2021, 12:49 AM
 
22,141 posts, read 19,198,797 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ohio_peasant View Post
I don’t resent that the wealthy or the talented or the fortunate, might have better lives than mine. Life’s unfair. But most certainly I DO resent when others didactically inform me, that it is foolish to be unhappy, and that it’s incumbent on me to “stay positive” and to “be thankful” for being alive. My complaint isn’t that life is bad, but that complaining itself is viewed as being bad. To be irritable, irascible and pessimistic is, at least for me personally, a great release and a pleasure. But our society limits and corrals such pleasure, even more than it does all sorts of licentious indulgences.

Life is pretty much dog-eat-dog in any echelon, high or low. The only difference is in the contents of the diet.
being grouchy, irritable, pessimistic, and angry are certainly not "a pleasure" for the people around you.
it is not pleasant to be around someone who is angry grouchy pessimistic irritable and loses their temper.
that is toxic behavior. no one wants to be around bad-tempered outbursts. it's not healthy. it's damaging.


regarding "complaining being viewed as bad" it IS bad for the people around you.
and you take pleasure in that?

Last edited by Tzaphkiel; 10-15-2021 at 01:11 AM..
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