Differences in raising kids now and then! (babysitting, custody, out of control)
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I'll disagree. Great-Grandparents are sort of like alien beings. It's hard to comprehend the world they lived in.
I had a Great Grandmother from the "old country" who lived through the hell of several wars rolling over her homestead. She was raped, robbed, and beaten by soldiers on more than one occasion. The same thing happened to her family, siblings and cousins starved or were murdered, etc.
This didn't do any favors for her mental state or how she treated her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. Her "crazy" attitude was understandable, but that didn't mean her descendants had to let her visit her childhood traumas on successive generations.
My comments on "doing better", or "it's just a dog", or "backup children" are serious and not tongue-in-cheek. Previous generations lived in a harsher world than we do. They made it better, but they came out damaged. They have valuable knowledge and contributions to make to child-rearing, but their way of raising children is inferior to ours. Our children will (in aggregate) be better people than we were for being taught and raised in an environment of tolerance and love. Our grandchildren will be raised by even better parents (our children) than we are. Or they will, if we do our jobs right as parents.
I don't think the GGMa in this case is as extreme as mine, but I'm sure she had some sort of crappy upbringing. You are under no obligation to allow her to project that onto your child or grandchild with her weird psychosis about kitchen magnets and other BS, in fact the opposite is true.
Like I said, ask for 3rd party validation from a professional childcaregiver (pediatrician, child psychologist, pediatric RN) and then stop or cut back on visits to GGMA if they advise the situation is unhealthy for the child (it is), and you can't get GGMA to lighten up.
I just want to point out that all those people I bolded are required to be mandatory reporters, if they suspect child abuse. I think if OP talks to any of them about great grandma liking to pop the baby, "and what does the professional think about that" the professional might be required to report that to Child Services.
And maybe that needs to happen, or maybe not...but I think it would be very likely.
I'm guessing if every spank was reported to CPS a lot of people would be in trouble. Heck yelling is now verbal abuse.
Well, my thought process is if someone makes an appointment to see me, to talk about a family member who likes to smack the baby...I might find that concerning, and feel like I'm mandated to report it. Just sayin.
Well, my thought process is if someone makes an appointment to see me, to talk about a family member who likes to smack the baby...I might find that concerning, and feel like I'm mandated to report it. Just sayin.
True, but a lot of people report things out of spite. I've heard mother in laws or mothers and annoyed angry spouses reporting things about a parent they have a personal beef with. not so much that kids were in any danger.
I have a neighbor whose husband called the pediatrician because she was drunk on a few occasions and he was tired of her drinking. Dr had to report it to CPS. Kids had no idea what was happening.
Rude? No, it's science. As I pointed out before, studies show that children who are physically punished at young ages (The baby in the OP is barely walking and talking) are much more likely to grow up with poor self esteem and without the ability to form stable relationships. Here's why.
To thrive, babies need to develop secure attachment relationships with their parents/caregivers. Such attachments set the stage for healthy emotional development, strong social skills, and intellectual achievement.
If you are punishing your baby, instead of using positive reinforcement, you are damaging their ability to form solid, trusting relationships by damaging their brains in the most formative period (0-3 years).
Why anyone who understands this would continue hitting a child or allowing it, I can't fathom. If it's just ignorance, well, I would call that being too lazy and selfish to learn healthy ways to raise the most precious gift you will ever receive in life.
True, but a lot of people report things out of spite. I've heard mother in laws or mothers and annoyed angry spouses reporting things about a parent they have a personal beef with. not so much that kids were in any danger.
I have a neighbor whose husband called the pediatrician because she was drunk on a few occasions and he was tired of her drinking. Dr had to report it to CPS. Kids had no idea what was happening.
I'm sure it's true that some people report things out of spite. Still, if someone is going to tell a professional, that professional is going to be mandated to report it.
How I've taught kids to not touch others things or open drawers, doors, and cupboards is to gently and repeatedly tell them at *my* house (or their own), they can touch those things because they have permission and/or they belong to them, but at other people's houses, you need to use your words to ask if you can touch or open something (if the child is old enough to be verbal). With time and patience, this method really has worked--at least for me. I myself was taught this from a very early age. No need for spanking necessary. Even my own old-school parents reserved physical punishment for dangerous offenses. It wasn't used for minor offenses.
You and/or your daughter might need to have a heart-to-heart with your mom about not laying punishing hands on your child if she attempts to spank your granddaughter again. I second the recommendation on keeping an extra close eye on the little girl until she fully grasps the concept of what she's permitted and not permitted to touch or walk near in GG's house. Pick her up or gently guide her away from walking near the stove while telling her that we don't do that here, for example. No sense in setting her up for failure.
yes that is what we were told. When we would visit other homes, we stayed sitting on the couch unless we were specifically told to go do this or that. We would be shocked when every now a kid would come over and just start looking at everything all over - taking things off tables etc.
This morning went to our regular cafe and there were adults there (all female) and three kids. Two looked like twins - maybe 18 months. Screaming up a storm. Screeching. We could barely hear ourselves talking.
And the kids ran into the kitchen etc - mom didn't get up - the waiter had to bring the kid out. Isn't that dangerous?
We were so relieved when they left.
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