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General observation about this age- I have a teen and tween girls, and both my daughters use the terms "teasing" and "bullying" interchangeably. They view any degree of teasing as bullying, and I don't necessarily agree with this. I tell them they should expect a little teasing from friends and not to get bent out of shape about it. That's not to say I condone true bullying, but yes, I think there's a difference.
But having said that, I was a bit shocked when my older daughter told me what she hears coming out of the mouths of Middle school boys- blatantly racist, homophobic and religious slurs. Stuff like that is not okay, and I don't think what's happening to OP's son with the unwanted touching is okay either (though I don't think it's sexual in nature). It's also been my experience that many public schools do little to discipline those responsible.
Last edited by Texas Ag 93; 09-28-2022 at 07:52 AM..
I recommend having him enroll in martial arts. The benefits are numerous -- it's a great workout, teaches self defense, and builds self-confidence. And above that, it's fun and a good community to be part of.
He swims and plays soccer...both of which are perfectly sufficient exercises (Swimming especially.) He may or may not grow out of it to some extent. He likely will grow out of middle school awkardness and learn to recognize better clothes choices. Also, as he gets older he can be more autonomous and will be less self conscious about clothes fitting in with his peer group, both of which seem to be at a peak in middle school.
This post reminds me...middle school is so...ick...just not a fun time...
True about pro athletes. Hopefully he continues having an interests in sports. As I said, pants are difficult because he refuses to wear larger sizes and baggy clothes because they're uncomfortable. He insists on grey sweatpants that definitely emphasize his shape, despite what I've suggested to him.
Yep, I wish I were taller, my wife wishes she could lose a few lbs, my dog has a sixth toe, my cousine's hari is ridiculously frizzy. Life is a lot of tings - one of those things is growth. This can hoepfully be an early lesson (or he might be too young for it yet). It's not really about his big butt, it's about his peers not accepting him and teasing him. I personally would suggest baggier clothes if it would make him feel better but if he did not want that, I would drop that immediately. I would not want him to get the indication that he needs to hide his butt. And I don't think much you can say will make him feel better. Best you can do is just listen and comiserate with him and suggest to him that kids will tease and that he does have the power/choice for that to upset him or to not upset him. If he gets that, he will hopefully choose to not be upset and that would be a great lesson at his age.
The go to for parents or to suggest that he stop hanging out with that group of kids but I don't think that will make him happy. He wants the friends he has but he wants them to not be jerks. Unfortunatley, they are being jerks and it's up to him to not let that bother him and they will eventually grow tired of the joke and move on. But he can't use his little undeveloped brain to understand that the choice of not being upset exists. That is something you can try to impart to him. Hope that helps. My kid went through some of that in middle school and I wanted to pound on his little friends. I had teh discussion with him about having a choice. It helped a bit but he could not get it to sink in because he was too hurt and wanted their acceptance too much. Kids do get hurt but are also resilient. Life is hard and watching our kids go though it is harder than us going through it.
I know someone who is thin and has been for decades. He thinks he is fat because of shaming done when he was a child. It obviously can affect some people for many years forward.
This happens quite often. Being told to ignore the comments isn't helpful at all.
I'd tell my son he has my permission to clock that ******* who touched him. Then march into the office and report that he had to defend himself against that perv because he couldn't be sure how far the other guy would take it. Would that work?
I'd tell my son he has my permission to clock that ******* who touched him. Then march into the office and report that he had to defend himself against that perv because he couldn't be sure how far the other guy would take it. Would that work?
That's a great way to get suspended from school and possibly be criminally charged. Violence doesn't solve anything.
I'd tell my son he has my permission to clock that ******* who touched him. Then march into the office and report that he had to defend himself against that perv because he couldn't be sure how far the other guy would take it. Would that work?
Explain to your 11 yr old that this is just temporary. As he gets older and taller his body will change.
Besides plenty of ladies like it. He might not care about that at 11 yrs old?
Knowing these things might help him bear up to the teasing.
BTW, who told him he had a big butt in the first place? Where did he get the idea from?
If I recall correctly it was one of his coaches. Probably unintentional, but still.
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