Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I haven't been able to hug my mom or dad and hear "I love you" for 30 years. The only place I can visit them is a small piece of ground with a little marker. Wanna trade?
I know what you mean. I miss mine so much also. I couldn't rep you but I understand that it doesn't matter how long they've been gone, they'll always be missed.
My family never said "I love you" when we were growing up. I never EVER heard either of my parents say "I love you" to anyone, not even each other. I was rarely ever kissed or even hugged as a kid. I found it awkward when my MIL wanted to give me a peck on the mouth everytime I said goodbye.
I lost my sister when she was 45. She died unexpectedly. I lost my mom when she was 65, after years of illness and surgeries. Now that I've experienced such loss, knowing I will never have the opportunity to say it again to my loved ones who are gone, I say "I love you" to my remaining family every chance I get. I live far from my brothers, and they aren't well. My oldest brother's wife died of cancer a few years ago and he has had heart attacks and recently had an amputation. The other brother is slowly losing his memory and will eventually end up in memory care. I am so happy to be able to say I love you to them, and I say it every time before I hang up the phone or leave them. I hug goodbye like I'm never going to let them go, and often I can't stop my tears at the thought that this might be the last time I see them ever.
Give your mom a hug and tell her you love her. Tell her often. There will come a day, sooner than you think, when you will never ever be able to tell her that. Get over your awkwardness. This woman carried you inside her body, nurtured you, fed you, changed your shi**y pants, worked to keep you in a clean, warm, and dry home for at least 18 years, and sacrificed for you. The least you can do is tell her you love her for Pete's sake.
I just feel it doesn't need to be every single time we interact.
How are you going to enforce this exactly? Are you going to come up with some sort of criteria for which interactions warrant telling a person you love them and which do not? If someone exhibits PDAs when you don't think it's warranted, what will you do, ostracize them? Based on this discussion, feels as though you're finding ways to make your life harder, not easier. When the prevailing wind seems to be blowing from one direction, are you going to bend and survive or break?
How are you going to enforce this exactly? Are you going to come up with some sort of criteria for which interactions warrant telling a person you love them and which do not? If someone exhibits PDAs when you don't think it's warranted, what will you do, ostracize them? Based on this discussion, feels as though you're finding ways to make your life harder, not easier. When the prevailing wind seems to be blowing from one direction, are you going to bend and survive or break?
I'll only say it when I feel like it and I'll only hug when I feel like it.
I'll only say it when I feel like it and I'll only hug when I feel like it.
I get it, the whole feeling that this has maybe gone a bit overboard with the hugging and stuff, BUT....
On the one hand you're saying that you are only going to do whatever it is you feel like doing, however you're upset with your mother for doing exactly the same thing, doing whatever it is she feels like doing. Why do your preferences and feelings take precedence over hers? Can the two of you not find some middle ground and respect for each others feelings?
I'll only say it when I feel like it and I'll only hug when I feel like it.
Just keep in mind, perhaps one day you'll feel like hugging her or telling her you love her, and you will not be able to. Life is short. I'm only saying...just keep this in the back of your mind.
When our loved ones are no longer with us, the most difficult part can sometimes be the "I wish I had..." "If only I had..." type thoughts. I don't think anyone has ever had regrets over showing a loved one TOO much love.
Hope you take what I said in the spirit it was intended. (which is one of kindness, not judgement.)
We will ll get more sentimental and more mortal feeling as we age. So Im-shine how you would want to be responded to if in her shoes? I use a similar approach to the suggested I appreciate you too. Remember life isn’t all about ourselves.
My mother started to do the "I love you" after my brother and sister died. My sister died first, and she didn't do the "I love you" but then when my brother died, she started it. Every time we talk, there it is. I know it's because my siblings died, and she didn't say it all the time when they were alive.
I wasn't very expressive with it, never have been and now it feels obligatory to say it back.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
How are you going to enforce this exactly? Are you going to come up with some sort of criteria for which interactions warrant telling a person you love them and which do not? If someone exhibits PDAs when you don't think it's warranted, what will you do, ostracize them? Based on this discussion, feels as though you're finding ways to make your life harder, not easier. When the prevailing wind seems to be blowing from one direction, are you going to bend and survive or break?