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Friend of mine ended up living in his car last 2 months he is on social security now says he is broke wants to borrow money. He spends it like water I figured living in your car is cheap he goes to expensive fast food spends $20 a day plus smokes a pack a day. He keeps a storage unit that cost $200 a month with mostly junk in it claims he is going to use that stuff one day. I told him tonight the stuff isn't worth 3 months of rent just liquidate it all until he can fit it in his car.
If I lend him money I know he will just be back again following month.
Good. If you lend to a friend, you will lose the friendship and maybe the money.
WorldKlas has the right idea. I've done similar numerous times. Loan him however much you are comfortable losing, and then use the imperative that he must pay you back before borrowing more.
Look at the money "lost" as buying yourself peace of mind.
The way I have always looked at it, I never initiate collection, and just consider it my learning a lesson about the other person I likely would have never learned any other way.
Once in a while someone will surprise the sh*t out of me and come find me and pay me back. Most often they just duck out of sight whenever they see me coming.
If he's not buying alcohol or drugs, and he has no bills to pay besides the storage unit, what is he spending his money on? You should ask him as a condition of considering a loan.
Friend of mine ended up living in his car last 2 months he is on social security now says he is broke wants to borrow money. He spends it like water I figured living in your car is cheap he goes to expensive fast food spends $20 a day plus smokes a pack a day. He keeps a storage unit that cost $200 a month with mostly junk in it claims he is going to use that stuff one day. I told him tonight the stuff isn't worth 3 months of rent just liquidate it all until he can fit it in his car.
If I lend him money I know he will just be back again following month.
I don't think it is your job to micromanager the choices being made by your friend. Stop giving or loaning this person money. If that ends the friendship, then he wasn't really a friend but a user of people.
WorldKlas has the right idea. I've done similar numerous times. Loan him however much you are comfortable losing, and then use the imperative that he must pay you back before borrowing more.
Look at the money "lost" as buying yourself peace of mind.
The way I have always looked at it, I never initiate collection, and just consider it my learning a lesson about the other person I likely would have never learned any other way.
Once in a while someone will surprise the sh*t out of me and come find me and pay me back. Most often they just duck out of sight whenever they see me coming.
Perfect for all involved!
Nothing perfect about this at all. It is the opposite of perfect. There is no peace of mind for yourself at all. Don't be an enabler.
If he's not buying alcohol or drugs, and he has no bills to pay besides the storage unit, what is he spending his money on? You should ask him as a condition of considering a loan.
Probably extra food and comfort drugs that the OP doesn't know about. I have an acquaintance who is exactly like the OP's friend - has worthless 'sentimentality' memorabilia and junk in storage, can't hold down any kind of job, has no place to live except his car, is on social assistance and spends that money on food, comfort drugs and beer that he thinks nobody else knows about, is no longer welcome to sleep on other people's couches and never pays back loans but never stops trying to hit up other people for so-called loans that everyone knows will never get paid back.
People say he's a deadbeat bum but the truth is he has sustained head injuries during his life that have disabled him mentally just enough that they've prevented him from being a fully functional and productive member of society. He can never get better so he's just living on the edge and surviving on welfare.
I think OP should NOT be considering a loan under any circumstances to her friend or he will never stop trying to put the touch on her for loans. He will be hanging around (if she lets him), coming to her door and always be hitting her up for money and arguing with her about it as if she owes him something based on their acquaintanceship. So there's no point in her demanding to know what the friend is spending his money on as a condition of considering a hopeless, never returnable loan. He could tell her any old cockamamie story so why should she believe him?
Like the OP said above, she's not his wife or girlfriend, she's not his mother, sister or other relative, she doesn't owe him a single thing, she's just an old friend who is watching the burning out and failure of another old friend that she can't support. He's being supported by social assistance.
I'm not sure why the OP posted about him here, she apparently already knows what she needs to do about the friend (meaning "nothing") and she didn't ask a question.
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