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My cousin and his wife were already coming over for the game last night to hang with me and my wife:
So, a friend texts and asks if he can come over, which I agree to. Good.
Then he texts and acts like I should be honored that his 23 year old son wants to come, too. Ugh ...
First thing I ask is "Did he shower?" My buddy doesn't know, but says "I can spray him down," as in spray him with AXE ... I give him a 'No!'
The son is a lazy, selfish bum who refuses to work, is far left with his social/political views and doesn't like me because my views differ. His excuse for not working is he won't work for this place or that place because of their positions on whatever. He stinks because he's too lazy to keep up with his hygiene.
Anyway, I've tried over the years to be cool with this guy. He likes baseball, so a couple times I reached out to him about a game or whatever, just to be ignored. OK, whatever ... I finally just deleted his number.
He's always been selfish with food. A few years back he was over for a game, brought popcorn (which I gave him a bowl for), then proceeded to turn his body around, facing the backrest of the couch, so that nobody could get his popcorn. Never saw anything like it ... I don't like stuff like that.
Last time I was over their house, they had a pizza. My buddy offers me a slice and sonny boy quick chimes up "He ain't getting any of mine!" I tell him "That's not a good way to make friends." I order something for myself.
There's been a few instances like this with this guy. Quite a few times we've fed him at our house (and boy will he eat!).
Anyway, I finally told my buddy 'Don't bring him.' and 'I tried with him ... I'm done.'
My buddy (who stayed home) actually does get it and wasn't offended. I'm just at the point in my life where I'm not going to deal with people who cause me stress or I don't like. (Actually, I've been like for a long time now, but my tolerance for nonsense is lower than ever)
When I invite someone I don't like it if they ask if they can bring someone else along. Of course, this doesn't apply to couples.
The only time I think it's ok is if the kids are really young, of course, that's ok but a 20 something young adult no. They should be out with their own friends.
Last edited by bellamax2; 11-06-2022 at 02:13 PM..
It sounds like the son has mental health issues. Hopefully most people can avoid talking politics. I have no issues with friends that vote differently than I do. I'd consider his not working not my problem or business.
Bad hygiene is another thing all together. No one else should have to put up with his stink. The food thing is simply weird. I am guessing it's not how he was brought up, but a mental quirk he developed at some point. I am guessing he has other social issues.
It is interesting that your friend stayed home rather than just telling his son he couldn't go. Sounds like he's being held hostage by his son's mental problems.
I think I would probably have said no when the friend texted and asked if he could come over when I already had social plans for the evening. Because in my books 4 is pleasant company that I have comfortable seating for in front of the TV but 5 or more to watch a game on TV is a rowdy, noisy, messy party that will make too much work and inconveniences for me.
Even if I didn't already have social plans with other friends I know for sure that I would have said no when the friend asked if his son could come too.
I would never have asked "Did he shower?" as a first response. I think that's very disrespectful and rude to the friend as well as to his son.
I've never tried to become a friend to the children of my friends. I can be polite and friendly towards their kids when I see them briefly but I don't want their kids as my friends or for their kids to think that I am their friend. My "friends" relationships are with the parents, not with their children.
No one's ever put me in such a position, but I do think coming clean with your buddy about his churlish kid was the right thing to do. If you don't, you'll end up resenting the friend. Why ruin the whole event? He's probably well aware how awkward his kid makes things but is unwilling to take a stand himself. Up to him to decide how far he'll allow his kid's behavior to hamper both their social lives.
Last edited by Parnassia; 11-06-2022 at 04:21 PM..
It sounds like the son has mental health issues. Hopefully most people can avoid talking politics. I have no issues with friends that vote differently than I do. I'd consider his not working not my problem or business.
Bad hygiene is another thing all together. No one else should have to put up with his stink. The food thing is simply weird. I am guessing it's not how he was brought up, but a mental quirk he developed at some point. I am guessing he has other social issues.
It is interesting that your friend stayed home rather than just telling his son he couldn't go. Sounds like he's being held hostage by his son's mental problems.
He always has the energy for concerts and baseball games. He also ran downtown while the looting of 2020 was going on.
His mother raised him to think he was the smartest kid alive ... he was supposed to be the next big thing. I think he's just lazy ... had some money and property left to him two years ago from an uncle.
Note: My family talks politics/social issues when we get together. That isn't changing.
He always has the energy for concerts and baseball games. He also ran downtown while the looting of 2020 was going on.
His mother raised him to think he was the smartest kid alive ... he was supposed to be the next big thing. I think he's just lazy ... had some money and property left to him two years ago from an uncle.
Well, Golden Child will get an unpleasant reality check sooner or later. Sooner would obviously be better.
I think I would probably have said no when the friend texted and asked if he could come over when I already had social plans for the evening. Because in my books 4 is pleasant company that I have comfortable seating for in front of the TV but 5 or more to watch a game on TV is a rowdy, noisy, messy party that will make too much work and inconveniences for me.
Even if I didn't already have social plans with other friends I know for sure that I would have said no when the friend asked if his son could come too.
I would never have asked "Did he shower?" as a first response. I think that's very disrespectful and rude to the friend as well as to his son.
I've never tried to become a friend to the children of my friends. I can be polite and friendly towards their kids when I see them briefly but I don't want their kids as my friends or for their kids to think that I am their friend. My "friends" relationships are with the parents, not with their children.
.
I've been around the son his entire life, I see nothing wrong with being friendly in that situation. It's not like I'm trying to hang out with him one-on-one.
As far as asking if he showered: It's no secret he has poor hygiene ... So WTH, my buddy wasn't offended. He talks about how the son has his car all funked up.
Talk about a reality check ... I haven't even started a thread yet about my forty year old brother who still lives at home.
Not every child who lives in their parents' home as an adult is a deadbeat lazy slob. Sometimes it is a conscious, mutually beneficial arrangement.
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How would you have handled this?
Not every child who lives in their parents' home as an adult is a deadbeat lazy slob. Sometimes it is a conscious, mutually beneficial arrangement.
