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I've wondered about this about people that are sarcastic/joke about everything. I mean, look at Robin Williams, one of the funniest men around but very sad on the inside.
Nothing wrong with being funny & using sarcasm. I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who couldn't take anything seriously.
I wonder about the ones who take it to the extreme are "hiding behind a mask" of pain & sadness
It all depends if one is using sarcasm as a weapon toward a person or using it as a way of making a situational observation (say, like Jerry Seinfeld does, as one example, or Jim Gaffigan as another example). I love sarcasm! Not the cruel kind, but the kind that involves wit and a relating of situations. I see it as one type of humor, not always meant to be hurtful or to protect oneself.
It all depends if one is using sarcasm as a weapon toward a person or using it as a way of making a situational observation (say, like Jerry Seinfeld does, as one example, or Jim Gaffigan as another example). I love sarcasm! Not the cruel kind, but the kind that involves wit and a relating of situations. I see it as one type of humor, not always meant to be hurtful or to protect oneself.
It all depends if one is using sarcasm as a weapon toward a person or using it as a way of making a situational observation (say, like Jerry Seinfeld does, as one example, or Jim Gaffigan as another example). I love sarcasm! Not the cruel kind, but the kind that involves wit and a relating of situations. I see it as one type of humor, not always meant to be hurtful or to protect oneself.
Thank you! Too many people automatically equate sarcasm with being cruel to someone. I had a whole other thread on this. I use sarcastic humor every day, but about situations, not individuals.
You know those people who are ALWAYS joking and being sarcastic? You can never have a real, authentic, straight forward conversation with them, because they're always "on" and you can never get to the real person underneath the show. People like this drive me nuts.
I've been trying to figure out why it bothers me so much. I know that many people use humor as a giant defense mechanism. Like other defense mechanisms, it keeps people from getting close to the "real" self which is damaged or fearful in some way. But for me, in my life, I really value honesty and truth in all relationships. If you always have a mask on, how are you supposed to get to know and connect with other people? How will you ever actually work out your demons if you won't even let yourself be vulnerable enough to try? How can anything really grow between two people if one of them isn't even actually present?
I don't understand why people would want to stunt the growth of their relationships, and their own personal growth, by refusing to be who they really are. It doesn't make sense to me, and I come away from interactions with this kind of person feeling exhausted.
I can relate. I have no idea what to do about them. In my experiences in the past I always tried changing them try to mold them to be what I like, but as of a couple few months ago I realized I can't control people. Let them be them. It's their life. You can choose to have them in your life or not.
I prefer the quiet spirited type of guys. Though girls like guys who make them "laugh" so the sarcastic joking class clown spirited type is what we're drawn to.
I really wonder about them the sarcastic type. Why the heck do they do what they do. it's a puzzle none of us will figure out unless we were them.
I love people with a good sense of humor. I also love wit, sarcasm, irony. But, everything in moderation.
I know someone who is always on like this. She should have been a stand up comic.
A short time with her is entertaining, but after a while it becomes really tiresome. Even if you go out with her for something like drinks her constant comedic monologue just becomes irritating because she literally has nothing else to offer.
I don't like mean and most people use sarcasm for mean purposes.
I like sarcasm when using it for non-humans, lol.. Like things generally, weather etc.. It brings the light in certain situations. Like when on very unpleasant moments and then starts to find excellent sides of it. Finally it makes glad genuinely...
Otherwise sarcasm is bullying and insulting and that is not good.
I use humour as a defence mechanism all the time. I wish I didn't but it comes out of insecurities that build up and then, in my case, you try to talk about them and just get shot down and laughed at for trying by someone you feel is really close to you and thought would understand. After that I didn't want to share with anyone and whenever someone tried to ask me what eas wrong I make a sarcastic joke to stop them getting inside me. I know it can be annoying but it's the only way to prevent people like me from completely falling flat on our faces.
You know those people who are ALWAYS joking and being sarcastic? You can never have a real, authentic, straight forward conversation with them, because they're always "on" and you can never get to the real person underneath the show. People like this drive me nuts.
I've been trying to figure out why it bothers me so much. I know that many people use humor as a giant defense mechanism. Like other defense mechanisms, it keeps people from getting close to the "real" self which is damaged or fearful in some way. But for me, in my life, I really value honesty and truth in all relationships. If you always have a mask on, how are you supposed to get to know and connect with other people? How will you ever actually work out your demons if you won't even let yourself be vulnerable enough to try? How can anything really grow between two people if one of them isn't even actually present?
I don't understand why people would want to stunt the growth of their relationships, and their own personal growth, by refusing to be who they really are. It doesn't make sense to me, and I come away from interactions with this kind of person feeling exhausted.
Lol. Reminds me of an ex who said to me, (because I was joking too much ) "like.. If you wanted to stop, could you do it?" And implied that I was trying to be weird. I was like uh, this is just me, hon.. I'm not trying. So, take it or leave it (He left it) but then came back to say hello, like a year or so later and asked to meet up? Lol. People are Odd.
You know those people who are ALWAYS joking and being sarcastic? You can never have a real, authentic, straight forward conversation with them, because they're always "on" and you can never get to the real person underneath the show. People like this drive me nuts.
I've been trying to figure out why it bothers me so much. I know that many people use humor as a giant defense mechanism. Like other defense mechanisms, it keeps people from getting close to the "real" self which is damaged or fearful in some way. But for me, in my life, I really value honesty and truth in all relationships. If you always have a mask on, how are you supposed to get to know and connect with other people? How will you ever actually work out your demons if you won't even let yourself be vulnerable enough to try? How can anything really grow between two people if one of them isn't even actually present?
I don't understand why people would want to stunt the growth of their relationships, and their own personal growth, by refusing to be who they really are. It doesn't make sense to me, and I come away from interactions with this kind of person feeling exhausted.
Re: defense mechanism--this is pretty much how I coped with circumstances in both grade school and high school, by being the sort of person of which you speak. Took me a long time to adjust to life without that persona. Sometimes I kind of want to bring it back (or create a new version).
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