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I was going to say that Jamesville-DeWitt is a slam dunk in this regard. Like proulxfamily said, the Orvilton area off of East Genesee street would be perfect. There are shops in that area and it is more walkable now than it had been in the past. Fayetteville-Manlius area would work too.
In terms of other areas in Upstate NY, New Hartford in the Utica area might be a good fit as much of the Jewish community is in South Utica and new Hartford, which is adjacent to South Utica.
In the Rochester area, Brighton and parts of Henrietta would be a slam dunk. In the Buffalo area, Williamsville or Amherst would fit. In the Albany-Schenectady -Troy area, I believe that Bethlehem, Guilderland and Niskayuna would be a good fit. In the Binghamton area, Vestal would work.
There are synagogues in the smaller cities and towns in Upstate NY too. Here's information that might help you out: USCJ Empire Region - Synagogues
Oswego may be another city/school district to check out. It has a history going back to when it was a Jewish refugee center during World War 2. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=I1eptVZhoCk
Rochester has quite a bit, especially in Brighton, the SE Quadrant of the city and Pittsford. In the Syracuse area, most are concentrated in DeWitt(J-D school district), the Fayetteville-Manlius area and the East Side of the city. Vestal/Binghamton's West Side, New Hartford/South Utica and Ithaca are other areas that come to mind.
SUNY-Oswego, Binghamton University, UAlbany, UB(University of Buffalo), Cornell, Syracuse, University of Rochester, Ithaca College and Skidmore are Upstate NY colleges and universities with high Jewish student populations: 2015 Top 60 Schools by Jewish Student Population
If you and your cousin's family are planning on being in the same area, the best option is definitely Rochester. Southeast Rochester and Brighton have everything that your cousin's family would need (4 active Orthodox shuls; education K-12; mikvahs, eruv, classes, 2 kosher restaurants). It has been the "go-to community" in Upstate NY since I was a kid (45+ years ago). The public schools in Brighton are superb - and there is even a competitive Sabbath-observant Little League. I would definitely start there before investigating other communities.
Oswego may be another city/school district to check out. It has a history going back to when it was a Jewish refugee center during World War 2. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=I1eptVZhoCk
What is interesting about Oswego is that it was also an Underground Railroad town as well. So, it has a history of taking people escaping a rough situation.
Dewitt, NY or that far east side of Syracuse, right on the border of the city limits. Orvilton neighborhood, along East Genesee Street. Jamesville-Dewitt school district. If you do a search of real estate in zip code 13214 on www.prudentialproperties.com, it will not only provide you with total taxes (broken down into who gets what) but also the school district, to make sure that you find a house in "JD."
There's an enormous Judaic presence, here in CNY (Onondaga County), and you'll find no problems with fitting in, so to speak. I'd suggest my own Manlius area to you but it isn't within walking distance of a temple. Just as an example of the welcoming feel though, there are stars of David hung intermittently with snowflakes around Christmas/Hannukah time, in our village. A menorah lighting ceremony that follows Jewish custom... HUGE menorah, in the center of the village, around 10 feet tall. Our schools also all close on Jewish holidays. I had no idea, growing up, that the rest of the country didn't do the same. lol - "it's Yom Kippur- yay, we have the day off!"
On the other side of East Genesee Street from the Orvilton area is the DeWittshire neighborhood, which could also work. https://m.facebook.com/DeWittshireNY/
Also, on East Genesee Street, there is a Tops Market and a couple of plazas that people can/could walk to. In recent years, the plaza on the same side that the synogogue is on has seen a few Indian owned shops move in. Across the street, the other plaza has some restaurants, a clothing store, a bar/restaurant and a Carvel Ice Cream shop that serves Kosher Ice Cream, which it advertises in the shop.
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