I'm the president of a HOA in Vermont, but on a much smaller scale. The HOA fees I've seen at most of the communities are very reasonable for what they include. We pay $500 a year each for 9 homes on a 1/2 mile private road. Very little common areas, but we have a fire pond and the road to maintain. Snow plowing, sanding, mowing, insurance, road grading all add up. Plus we're still paying all our own utilities and mowing and maintaining our own yards. And even with only 9 families, it's hard to keep everyone happy.
So when I see the HOA fees on those communities, I see a bargain for what you get. I'm sure you have some HOA boards that go overboard. We have one family that wants to spend money on everything and not everyone agrees with everything. Try being on an HOA board and you'll see what I mean. The good ones work for the majority regardless of their personal feelings, but you'll always get people who are only self-serving. That's why it's important to make sure the right people are in charge and go over the rules with a fine tooth comb before you buy.
That said, I'm looking forward to retiring my snow shovel, rakes, shovels, snow plow, lawnmower, dump pass, and spend time having fun. The hours the HOA fees save me is worth every penny. Your mileage may vary.