"Minnesota Goodbyes" (homes, transfer, live)

[Citykid3785]

The other day as my wife and I were leaving a dinner party, it must have taken her 30 minutes to say goodbye. She would hug someone, say bye, then bring up a new topic, and the process would repeat. All the while, we're standing in the doorway. Come to think of it, I see this happen a lot. It's as if people are somewhat sad to leave, so they intentionally prolong the goodbye by bringing up new topics while leaving. This happens at my church all the time. I brought this up to my friend, who termed these prolonged goodbyes "Minnesota Goodbyes". In other words he thinks it's a local thing. He and I were both born in other parts of the country, and when it's time to go, we hug and hit the door.....gone in 15 seconds. Is this a Minnesota thing? Do you see locals prolonging parting ways......perhaps even taking a half hour to do so?

[uptown_urbanist]

I haven't noticed it, but one thing in the winter: people around here are far more likely to take off their boots/shoes in homes, so there's that time period when you're getting on your coat and hat and boots, and usually there is some small talk during that period. I don't go to church so can't comment on that. Maybe it is a regional thing. Minnesotans do tend to go on and on longer than necessary. (I know my posts here ramble at times!)

The hugging goodbye doesn't seem all that Minnesotan, though. Minnesotans aren't generally big on hugging, although it obviously depends on the Minnesotan in question! (even less so into kissing; I don't think I've EVER been kissed, even of the cheek air kiss variety, by a non-relative Minnesotan.)

[susieJD]

It's always been that way with us. Mainly because we see our friends so few times because of miles we live apart. So much to talk about, so many things to remember what to tell them. It usually takes me an hour or more once we get out coats on. Also, we never know when we'll see them again, if at all.

We in Minnesota are warm hearted and loving of our friends and family. At least way up here in the northern parts.

Susie

[fromupthere]

I have spent my entire life here in Minnesota, and it's perfectly normal to prolong the good-byes. Perhaps it is regional.

There is also the traditional refusal of dessert here in Minnesota. You have to refuse like three times before you finally accept it.

[light_shimmer]

Originally Posted by susieJD

It's always been that way with us. Mainly because we see our friends so few times because of miles we live apart. So much to talk about, so many things to remember what to tell them. It usually takes me an hour or more once we get out coats on. Also, we never know when we'll see them again, if at all.

We in Minnesota are warm hearted and loving of our friends and family. At least way up here in the northern parts.

Susie

Yup, totally agreed here We're always joking about how long it takes ANYONE to get out the door. The part of the family that's in California gets a kick out of it.

Originally Posted by fromupthere

There is also the traditional refusal of dessert here in Minnesota. You have to refuse like three times before you finally accept it.

It's not just offers of dessert either...at least around my area. The "3 refusal" rule applies to any type of meal or help. EX:

"Need help with that?"
"nah, I got it."
"You sure? "
"yea, I think so"
-person sits and watches-
"you're sure? Cuz I can help if you need it."
"Nah. I'm good."
-Person sits and watches some more until either they can no longer stand it, or the other is on the verge of hurting themselves-
"Oh fer pete's sake, gimme that, I'l help you."
" Well, sure, grab that end."

[uptown_urbanist]

I definitely hate asking for help. Maybe that's a Minnesotan thing. On the other hand, I get impatient with people who turn offers down; it's a waste of time, so I tend to take them at their word.

[1stpontiac]

I can verify all the stereotypes in this thread. Definitely recognize them from my childhood and to this day.

Probably is a MN/upper-midwest thing, although I haven't lived far enough away to say for sure.

[Glenfield]

Howard Mohr did a whole chapter on this in his book "How to Talk Like a Minnesotan." The book is still in print and makes a lovely gift for the person transferred in from the LA office.

[Citykid3785]

Originally Posted by light_shimmer

Yup, totally agreed here We're always joking about how long it takes ANYONE to get out the door. The part of the family that's in California gets a kick out of it.



It's not just offers of dessert either...at least around my area. The "3 refusal" rule applies to any type of meal or help. EX:

"Need help with that?"
"nah, I got it."
"You sure? "
"yea, I think so"
-person sits and watches-
"you're sure? Cuz I can help if you need it."
"Nah. I'm good."
-Person sits and watches some more until either they can no longer stand it, or the other is on the verge of hurting themselves-
"Oh fer pete's sake, gimme that, I'l help you."
" Well, sure, grab that end."

The Minnesotan rule of three refusals is hilarious!!!! So true. If you want help/a bite, just say so already!!!! lol

[knke0204]

Minnesotans:

Passive-aggressive-stubborn-polite-sensitive-neurotic.