Friendliness of Minnesotans

[JONOV]

Originally Posted by SciFiNerd1

My wife and I do not have children; however, we do go to church (Catholic). Maybe finding a new church home will be a great place to start out socially. I see that inviting others to our church would not be appropriate in MN, according to one post. That is new to me but I'm from the South, which is entirely in the Bible Belt.


I also noticed that Minnesota is perhaps the most liberal state in the Midwest after Illinois. It definitely will be a big change from the conservative South. It doesn't really matter to us because we are moderates.

While Minnesota has far more social welfare type programs than I've seen elsewhere in the Midwest and has been rather progressive in other social ventures, you won't find it drastically different. People tend to not talk about it. It goes back to that non-confrontational thing.

Originally Posted by SciFiNerd1

Based on my research, St. Paul is more blue collar with Catholic roots. Can anyone suggest affordable safe areas in St. Paul/surrounding suburbs?

I didn't find St. Paul to be "more" Catholic...That would be really splitting hairs. What's your budget for housing and where are you looking to work?

[Good Red Road]

Originally Posted by jennifat

You'll find that Minnesotans are exceptionally polite, but also very non-confrontational people. A lot of us will go out of our way to avoid saying inflammatory things that could start an argument.

This is so true.
I used to argue with my late father because I've always enjoyed the company of New Yorkers. After growing up in MSP, I found the direct candor of New Yorkers refreshing because you always knew where you stood with them.
Conversely, my father found their honesty to be quite rude.

[BPtransplant]

Originally Posted by Good Red Road

This is so true.
I used to argue with my late father because I've always enjoyed the company of New Yorkers. After growing up in MSP, I found the direct candor of New Yorkers refreshing because you always knew where you stood with them.
Conversely, my father found their honesty to be quite rude.

Agreed. I'll take a New Yorker/East coaster any day. When I lived out there, I found them to be genuinely friendly and direct, which fits my personality. It's mind boggling though to hear Minnesotans talk about how rude people from both coasts are when 1) most Minnesotans (75% was the last estimate I heard) have never lived outside of Minnesota and 2) they tout the "Minnesota nice" line yet a lot of transplants find that to not be true.
I guess it's all up to personality and preference but I much prefer someone who is direct over having to read between the lines of what somebody is trying to tell me. To each their own.

[LS35a]

I lived in Minnesota for eight years. If you didn't grow up there it's tough to meet people.

People there are nice but will NEVER invite you over or want to do things with you. Unless your parents went to school with their parents.

Of course most places are like that. But I found it worse in Minnesota than other places I've lived.

[doggielover65]

I'll be relocating to Minneapolis St. Paul from Texas in February for my job. I have to admit, I'm concerned about the "Minnesota Nice" because I've heard terrible things about the people there and I'm hoping it's not true. I've heard about the passive aggressiveness, that people are friendly but they don't want to be friends and the standoffishness. My former boss and his family lived in MSP for 10 years and they eventually found good friends but it took years to develop genuine friendships there. I'm single and will be working from home so I won't know a soul. So, SciFiNerd, I understand your thoughts because I'm in the same boat. I'm hoping to meet transplants, find a great church and join a running group and learn to cross country ski. Befriend me and let's get together for coffee or tea!

Originally Posted by SciFiNerd1

My wife and I do not have children; however, we do go to church (Catholic). Maybe finding a new church home will be a great place to start out socially. I see that inviting others to our church would not be appropriate in MN, according to one post. That is new to me but I'm from the South, which is entirely in the Bible Belt.


I also noticed that Minnesota is perhaps the most liberal state in the Midwest after Illinois. It definitely will be a big change from the conservative South. It doesn't really matter to us because we are moderates.

Talking about weather would help too.

Of course, we do not expect Minnesotans to accept newcomers with open arms quickly. It always take time to develop friendship after getting to know each other better. That is normal for everywhere.

My wife and I would like to join a club where we could learn how to do snowmobiling and other winter activities.

Based on my research, St. Paul is more blue collar with Catholic roots. Can anyone suggest affordable safe areas in St. Paul/surrounding suburbs?

[Mason3000]

Originally Posted by SciFiNerd1

My wife and I are looking at Minnesota as one of our choices for relocation. We happen to be southerners so the friendliness of residents are important to us.

How friendly are Minnesotans in the Twin Cities in general? We dislike it when people are very kept to themselves without saying hello or having small conversations.

Minnesotans are extremely polite, but very reserved. Sort of like Asian people.

[Mason3000]

I live in St Paul and our social circle revolves around our kids. Their families tend to be our friends. The majority, not the minority, are transplants. Ohio, Texas, NY, NY, South Carolina, they all love it here. Especially if you have a family/kids. My friends from NY are blown away. Their money goes so much further here, they can let their kids wander around the neighborhood unattended, kids can attend public school without worry, low crime, very clean, very healthy, very literate, very active. I've lived many different places both in and out of the US and have never found this Utopian place where the locals accept me immediately, invite me to their homes & include me in outings with friends they've had since High School. Figure out what your hobbies are. Working out? Running? Cards? Cooking? Craft beers? Hockey? Find a group or club and you'll make friends with shared interests. Church is another easy place to make friends for newbies.

That said, Minnesotans really are a funny bunch. I HIGHLY recommend you read the book "How to talk Minnesotan". Here's a video clip of it.

Video: How To Talk Minnesotan | Watch TPT Documentaries Online | Twin Cities PBS Video

[Glenfield]

The term "Minnesota Nice" simply means a general willingness to be helpful and friendly to strangers. It has nothing to do with long term relationships. It's about someone helping to push your car out of the snow. It's not about then inviting you over to their house for dinner. Think of it this way: if you know the name of the person you're interacting with, then the term Minnesota Nice is not applicable.

As to the ability to cultivate long term friendships, like anything worth having, they require some work and need to be based on some shared values or interests. My own experience is that many people now try to cultivate their personal relationships in the workplace, but work is a very poor place to try to find deep and lasting friendships. So people should not be surprised when their coworkers turn out to be nothing more than coworkers.

[Campeador]

Originally Posted by doggielover65

I'll be relocating to Minneapolis St. Paul from Texas in February for my job. I have to admit, I'm concerned about the "Minnesota Nice" because I've heard terrible things about the people there and I'm hoping it's not true. I've heard about the passive aggressiveness, that people are friendly but they don't want to be friends and the standoffishness. My former boss and his family lived in MSP for 10 years and they eventually found good friends but it took years to develop genuine friendships there. I'm single and will be working from home so I won't know a soul. So, SciFiNerd, I understand your thoughts because I'm in the same boat. I'm hoping to meet transplants, find a great church and join a running group and learn to cross country ski. Befriend me and let's get together for coffee or tea!

I grew up in MN and return most summers. I have lived in TX for the past 13 years. People are generally nice in both places but in different ways. Minnesotans are typically very considerate and respectful of others. In my experience, they are also noticeably more willing to help strangers than most other Americans. In Texas, it's a bit more hit or miss, perhaps reflecting the heterogeneity of the people in urban TX. Some folks are very nice, but it is noticeable to me how inconsiderate some people can be. It is probably easier to meet people in TX, but there is a huge number of transplants from all over the world, which is definitely part of the reason. I believe in the urban core of the Twin Cities it is very similar, but as you move further out folks can be noticeably less interested in starting new friendships. Last, but not least, I think the solid public education system makes Minnesotans across the board pretty well-informed and competent. I notice it every time I go back.