Thinking about moving to Maine (Portland, Bangor: rent, high crime, daycare)

[chris]

however, they will want to leave the state the day they graduate. There isn't a ton of job opportunity and Maine for young people is EXTREMELY BORING unless you live in the Portland area or within vicinity to a college.

If that doesn't bother you, it'll work (as long as you can make it financially).

Winters you get used to, but summers make up for it (after July 4th, when the black flies and mosquitos are gone).

[pixieshmoo]

I'm really getting discouraged by what I'm reading (no offense to anyone), but when I started this thread in here, I was very excited. A friend who moved there four years ago swears she'll never leave and getting out of Jersey and going to Maine was the best thing she ever did. However, she had no kids and I was looking for someone who either has a family or is a young person themself to give me opinions.

I have researched a lot and everything I've learned leads to one conclusion, Maine is awesome. It's one of the most healthy states, the education is phenominal, it's one of the safest places to raise your children, beautiful scenary/state parks/etc. (and as I always say, Stephen King ). But that's all from online, booklets, brochures, realtors and so on. In here, when speaking (or writing) to people who live and have lived there, I'm getting such mixed signals. High unemployment rate, not the greatest schools, crime--although it's not as bad as here, drugs, pregnancy, boredom, etc. I don't know what to think anymore. Unemployment concerns me, we have to make money to live. Safety and education concerns me, as I have children. I'm not worried about them leaving after graduation (yet) because they won't be in HS for a few years or so. Drugs, crime and pregnancy, yeah it's a concern but as long as you teach your children the right way and let them know they can come to you about anything, all you're really left to do is pray you did a good job and that they use their brains. But of course that doesn't mean I want to be in a drug-infested ghetto. I just know there's a risk of that in most places, some more than others. I want to know they'll be safe and grow up to have good jobs and family themselves.

My other "issue", and it's not a great big deal, but a personal wish, is embarassing to explain. Where I live, a lot of people grow up and either raise their own families in that same town or maybe a town or two over (no one leaves!!!!) Although it's overcrowded, it's a nice feeling to have family close by, even if you can't pick 'em yourself. My parents are both deceased as well as grandparents and although I have a huge family, it's just me, no siblings. I'm in my early 30's with young kids myself, so I figured this is my chance to bolt without being guilty about leaving anyone immediate behind. Get away to give my kids a great childhood like I had (although they can't do that here anymore). But I want to be somewhere where MY children are going to want to stay and start their own families and not necessarily bolt at THEIR first chance. Does that make sense? Selfish? It's just a little self-indulged desire....so is Maine the place for this or not?

Thanks for all the input!!

[bonnie]

Originally Posted by pixieshmoo

I'm really getting discouraged by what I'm reading (no offense to anyone), but when I started this thread in here, I was very excited. A friend who moved there four years ago swears she'll never leave and getting out of Jersey and going to Maine was the best thing she ever did. However, she had no kids and I was looking for someone who either has a family or is a young person themself to give me opinions.

I have researched a lot and everything I've learned leads to one conclusion, Maine is awesome. It's one of the most healthy states, the education is phenominal, it's one of the safest places to raise your children, beautiful scenary/state parks/etc. (and as I always say, Stephen King ). But that's all from online, booklets, brochures, realtors and so on. In here, when speaking (or writing) to people who live and have lived there, I'm getting such mixed signals. High unemployment rate, not the greatest schools, crime--although it's not as bad as here, drugs, pregnancy, boredom, etc. I don't know what to think anymore. Unemployment concerns me, we have to make money to live. Safety and education concerns me, as I have children. I'm not worried about them leaving after graduation (yet) because they won't be in HS for a few years or so. Drugs, crime and pregnancy, yeah it's a concern but as long as you teach your children the right way and let them know they can come to you about anything, all you're really left to do is pray you did a good job and that they use their brains. But of course that doesn't mean I want to be in a drug-infested ghetto. I just know there's a risk of that in most places, some more than others. I want to know they'll be safe and grow up to have good jobs and family themselves.

Thanks for all the input!!

Wanted to say something on the crime...we are the 3rd safest state in the United States. Crime is not an issue until summer when the tourist come. Off season when dining out if you need to use the rest room you don't worry about your pocket-book - during tourist season that's another thing. Drugs, yes that's a problem - sadly a National problem that has found it's way up here as well. I wish I could find one state in the United States that isn't having a problem with drugs. People are getting rich selling drugs and they are preying on our children. As far as kids are concerned - there is a lot of boredom everywhere in the U.S. with our children. It depends on what they like to do and if what they like to do is available to them. If you decide to live in the country in Maine your children will not have children in a "neighborhood" to play with. If you decide to live in the country they will need to become out-doors people enjoying all aspects of nature or they will be bored out of their minds! I have three children who are for the most part grown. They love the peace. They love the beauty. They love the fact that they can go to the shore and sit and be left alone. We all love the fact that people do not have their noses in your buisness. On the other hand they do wish there was more of a cultured center. But that can be found in the Portland area. Maine has a low population compared to the size. People are spread out. My family is seventh generation Mainer's and most of the people I know are about the same. From all that you've written I really think the Portland area would be best for you. It would be difficult leaving the suburbs to move to a rural area anywhere! I believe that would be a tough transition for you as well. Portland offers a great little city, suburbs, malls, the ocean, the country, lots of parks, wonderful restaurants. It's a close drive to New Hampshire, the mountains, and to more scenic areas of Maine. I would love to live in Portland - but I have all my family here. The Gorham, Scarborough, Cape Elizabeth areas are wonderful. I especially love the beauty of Cape Elizabeth but as far as conveniences Scarborough has it beat. I think you would find the balance you are looking for in the Portland area. Also there is a lot of construction and some fantastic building companies there. The new homes being built are dream homes. I believe you mentioned your husband as being in construction. You should take a ride into the area and just ride around to see the new homes going up. Maybe your husband could make some contacts that way. Well good luck with your seach. I know it's so hard to make a move with children. As mothers we want to provide the perfect life style and it's scary to think we may move them into a bad situation. But I don't think you could go wrong in the areas I mentioned. A lot of young people I know have moved into Boston and hated it - they came back to Maine but settled into the Portland area and absolutely love it. Be well. Bonnie

[pixieshmoo]

Thank you, Bonnie, for all of your input, I appreciate it! Originally that's where I had been looking, the Greater Portland area (Gorham, Falmouth, Scarborough, etc.) but when I got discouraged it was based on everything I read, northern maine, southern maine, it made no difference. We do really need to go up there and check it out in person (we might have a totally different opinion once we're there). I've seen video and pictures (online and from friends) but everytime we plan to go, something comes up. Now gas is so expensive I doubt we'll get there soon. But either way, I'll continue my research until I can make a decision and of course, I am still open to opinions...thanks!

Bonnie, I'm assuming you're from further north in Maine?

[bonnie]

You're very welcome and I hope it did help a little. I agree with you - a visit is a good idea. And I think you'll be very impressed with the nice balance that area offer, without the terrible overcrowed conditions and the high crime rates that large cities offer.

I live in Sullivan, Maine. It is a small coastal town with a population of around 1000. It is north east of Ellsworth and about 30 minutes from Bar Harbor.

Happy trails to you, good luck to you and your family. Bonnie

[lynn781]

I can give you some information on maine based on the 2 cities ive lived in there.

Kittery
Pros:
-Right next to portsmouth nh, so theres a fair about of jobs in the area, plus portsmouth is an up and coming city

-Not in the "hick" part of maine, and all the major sports can be played there (except hockey to my knowledge)

Cons:
-Some of the people are jerks


Sanford
Pros:
-Plenty of good restaurants
-Fair amount of things to do
-Smittys Cinema, where you get food and sit in recliners to watch movies at.

Cons:
-half hour from portland if your looking to be close to there

-Also, anyone that thinks Bangor, Sanford, etc. has crime, please, get your head out of the gutter and realize that you live in maine, a virtually crime free state.

[granitegirl]

Please don't be discouraged! "30 something" opinion here...
Take a trip up to ME and stay at a B&B. Ask the owners tons of questions. They will know the area and be able to direct you to the best people.
I am a NH native living in Alaska and trying to move back to maine.
What I have read on here about the "cheap" cost of living in NH is too much to let slide. Yes there is no sales tax or income tax. But how is the state financed? Through the property taxes and autos. Registering a new car can set you back $600+ per year plus inspection. The property taxes vary from town to town, but you could easily pay $28/$1000 on your home. Check out the mil rates in Maine and NH and compare the real estate prices. Maine wins.

I have family outside of Philly so I understand what you mean by "no one leaves". My dad left 35 years ago and it still perplexes them! The consequences are this: I do not know my cousins that well but, I am physically healthier because I did not grow up breathing city/suburban air. They ALL have asthma and allergies. We don't. I strongly believe it is where I grew up that helped me be healthy.

Things to do: Having something to do is entirely up to you and your family. You could have nothing to do in Manhatten or everything to do in small town Maine. At least in Maine you will know your neighbors and they will know everything about you!

Weather: It will be far less humid and cooler than Jersey. Long cold, dark winters? That is realative and I have no sympathy for those who complain! Try Interior Alaska for a bit and then decide!
The winter will effect your oil bill and that is why a back up wood or pellet stove is a welcome option to have. I personally won't be without a woodstove.

Whatever you decide, I wish you and your family the best!
PS Red Sox rule. "Yankees rule" are fighting words!!

[pixieshmoo]

Granitegirl - that's funny you should mention health, because I am asthmatic myself (go figure). Technically cold weather is worse on asthmatics than warm weather and therefore Maine would probably be not such a hot choice. However, I do beg to differ that. I have asthma that has developed from smoking. I've quit before and have felt wonderful, so I figure if I stick to quitting, the cold won't be so bad. In addition, I believe (maybe it's stupid, maybe I read it somewhere, who knows) that the cold weather kills many more germs. The warmth allows them to breed and grow. So I'm not afraid of the cold. Plus, my husband usually shovels, not me (he,he,he )

I have such a guilt complex about leaving people behind. Although I'm an only child, I have a huge family, I am close with my cousins and our children are close. I also have nieces/nephews through my in-laws. So that is what I've been afraid of...if we move, who will my children grow up close with? Will they be the "black sheep" when we do show up for events or holidays? Will they even know who the heck we're talking about when we talk about our family or look through photos? But keeping ourselves here because of family isn't going to make my children better off in the end (I don't think, maybe I'm wrong). I grew up in a tight family. No, we all didn't get along like the Brady Bunch, nowhere near that, but we were all pretty close, sundays always together, birthdays, vacationed together. We spent most of our time (besides work and school hours) together at one of our homes, and fought of course. So you see, I'm torn down the middle.

On the other hand, I want to know my neighbors and not shy away from "new people" like everyone around here does. When I was growing up, everyone knew each other (some so well that you could "beat" each other's kids...he,he,he). It's not like that here anymore As for finding things to do, we hate doing anything here because of crowds and traffic. You spend more time waiting in line than you do enjoying whatever it was you set out to do. I personally could see myself in Maine or NH. I grew up with a dad who fished, hunted, hiked, camped, was a boy scout leader, you name it, so basically I was a tomboy and knew the moutains, forests and lakes blindfolded. I loved every minute of it (and still do). I want to give that to my children. Where we used to go isn't like that anymore. But it's still beautiful up there (when it's empty). So again, I'm torn.

I'm sure I'll make up my mind sooner or later and a trip there is definitely going to help form a MAJOR opinion. But we're like chameleons, my husband and I can fit pretty much wherever you plop us. My main concerns are jobs, education, safety and my children finding jobs when they graduate college. I want them to be able to continue making a life wherever we move too.

AAAGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! the stress!

BTW, we're pretty tough here, so, uh, yeah, Yankees Rule (just joking...but they are the best, seriously.)
Congrats on the series though, but see, here's where the second "curse" comes in...we took Johnny Damon LOL

[Ammonite]

My family and I moved to ME from MD last fall after taking vacations in ME and falling in love with the place. As of right now, a little over six months later, we are in the middle of moving back to the mid-Atlantic area, and happy to be doing so. I could write pages about our experience but I’ll try to summarize as briefly as possible, pros and cons.

Pros: Maine is beautiful. You cannot take that away. There’s nowhere quite like it that I’ve come across. The coast in particular is spectacular, especially from Casco Bay north. In the summer vacation season, it feels vibrant and lively. During the long winter, everyone seems to hibernate and a lot of businesses are shut. It’s tough to keep kids occupied during a long season of short days and frigid temperatures. This is starting to sound like a Con, so:

Cons: The economy is awful, and the politics of the state (borderline socialist) are such that it is not likely to improve anytime soon. I am an engineer with marketable skills (or so I thought) but could not find work in Maine. Taxes are high, and they blow a lot of that money on excessively generous welfare programs and an almost obsessively local government system (more of which later). The state’s economic policy seems to be: encourage people to move in from out of state then squeeze them for tax revenue until their out-of-state money has dried up.

Maine has a horrible business climate that reminds me of Europe. No one in their right mind would start a business there when neighboring states are more welcoming; hence very few jobs are created. It doesn’t help that local government consists of endless rounds of petitioning by small bands of citizens in protest against any proposed development or other minor modification to the community. Projects therefore get stalled for years, if they get built at all, because a couple of dozen well-off residents don’t want any building within a hundred miles of a pond they like to watch herons wading in a couple of times a year (for instance). It sounds nice on paper to have this sort of citizen power, but the reality is a completely paralyzed system where nothing…gets…done unless it’s the passage of yet more restrictive (or taxalicious, or both) legislation sponsored, of course, by some fervent citizen action committee clutching the requisite hundred signatures.

Health insurance is staggeringly expensive. My wife had a part-time job with the state government, which you would expect to have collective-bargained for decent coverage and low premiums. Don’t believe it. For a family of three (healthy, parents under 40) we paid about a thousand dollars a month for insurance. There are very few insurance companies doing business in Maine, apparently because the state requirements for coverage are unreasonably steep (again, compared with other states). Look into this aspect closely before taking the plunge.

Continued next post...

[Ammonite]

Here's the rest. Sorry to be long-winded:

Re local government: every town, village, stretch of road, seems to have its own government including council, public works department, etc. The costs to run so many tiny governments with the redundancies of duplication of services are huge, and funded by the high property taxes (again, ‘high’ is relative to what you’re used to). The most egregious and expensive is my favorite example, the public school system: for a state whose population is not much more than a million people, Maine has (get this) 286 separate school districts. Yes, 286. And every one of them has to have a highly paid superintendent and all the other administrative staff and facilities and transportation costs, etc. that come with being a self-contained school district. The inefficiency is mind-boggling to me, and yet the attitude in Maine seems to be that only extremely local control is acceptable. Worse yet, the performance of Maine schools is near the bottom of the national tables in most subjects. Don’t believe the claims to the contrary. Teachers are horribly paid, by the way, as is everyone else in the state, but at least teaching is a growth industry in Maine when not a lot else is. Speaking of growth industries, you could add (i) healthcare: 12 grand a year per family has to be spent somewhere, after all. Occupational therapists and social workers abound in the state; you’d think everybody had their very own case-worker; and (ii) government, which seems to be the only other employer with expansionist tendencies (and for all the wrong reasons, of course).

Next we come to the people of Maine (‘Mainers,’ for heaven’s sake), who without a doubt (and with only a few stark exceptions) are among the most miserable, snobbish, smug, unfriendly, rude, and unhelpful people I have ever come across. And I know what I’m talking about because I am from England, which invented snobbery and miserableness. At least English people have a sense of humor (and for an example of Maine ‘humor,’ check out a comedian named Bob Marley who is from Maine and is about as funny as stepping barefoot on a rusty nail, then falling backwards into a plate-glass window).

If I sound embittered by my experience then perhaps that’s because I was so completely infatuated with the place before I moved there. Maine had much farther to fall in my estimation than might have, say, southern New Jersey (which, incidentally, retains its charms despite national derision; but that’s what I mean: your expectations are lower and you’re therefore pleasantly surprised). Maine is in the business of raising everyone’s expectations so that you rush in with your hard-earned-out-of-state cash, then set fire to it on the altar of an unchecked liberal spending policy. (Excuse my clunky metaphors, by the way.)

Having said all of the above, I don’t regret having made the move there. I had been convinced that Maine truly was “the way life should be.” It’s actually a relief to have found out it’s no better there than anywhere else because, really, the sacrifices to live there are just too costly, in every sense of the word.

As I said, I could go on and on. But I won’t. Good luck to you.