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That's a very funny story about the noses. I think that there are more important things to be honest about like if alcoholism runs in the family or other medical issues. My previous boyfriend seemed to have a very unhealthy family so had I married him, I would have told ahead of time that no way would we be having children.
Anyway, any time that I've been serious about my boyfriends, I would surreptitiously check out their family members to see what their genetic material was like. Didn't that friend's wife notice all the big noses in his side of the family at their wedding day gathering? Or has everyone in his family gotten them fixed? lol
Im not saying that. She still would have married him. But a person really should be honest about stuff like that. Im mean, he had close to a Jimmy Durante type nose. She is pretty shallow though - BMW, big Prada Glasses, two Bugaboo strollers, etc. that type. She should have at least known that the father of her kids had a "unique" physical trait that was covered up by surgery. She would have known that it was possible that her kids would have this nose as well.
Didn't she ever see any of his family are pictures of his childhood?
Well I like designer name brand stuff. I have plenty of Prada, Dior & any other top designer that is out there.I would have a bugaboo once I have a lil one & Im all about the Saab or BMW convertible but I live in the city & don't need a car. Once i get to the point of needing one thats exactly what i plan on getting. To me that doesnt make me shallow it just means that I like nice things. However there is a MAJOR difference in that & judging& choosing a lifemate based on looks. To me that seems unbelievably stupid.
I dont think a person needs to disclose whether or not they had a nose job & if you are dating someone that needs to know that before hand its most likely someone not worth dating. when I married my husband his looks where not the sole reason for us getting together & although I find him attractive he does have flaws as we all do. If I found out he had some sort of cosmetic procedure before we got married it wouldnt matter to me because beauty fades. As far as for when we have children the most important things to me are that my children are mentally & physically healthy & normal. Those are the only things i would want him to disclose about his medical history before we have children if he have any physical or mental defects that are hereditary in his background. Those are the only important details. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder & most physical flaws can be fixed nowadays. In my opinion you sound just as shallow as you say your freind is by suggesting people need to disclose cosmectic procedures to their partners before getting married. It sounds like you feel unattractive people should not reproduce without full disclosure. Thats pretty nervy & shallow if you ask me.
In their defense I can't imagine getting married without having had a good laugh at my old adolescent photos of my "old nose" with my beloved. I would want to share all the emotions that lead up to my decision to get a nose job. Like how I felt like a big doofus in school and how the kids use to tease me and I was afraid to talk to the opposite sex, etc.
Those are all important moments that went into the making of who I am now and I'd want my beloved to commiserate with me and kiss my nose and tell me they would have loved me no matter what. When you're in love that kind of sharing brings you closer and to NOT share it seems almost covert, a way of NOT being open and vulnerable and trusting to this person you've pledged your life to.
In their defense I can't imagine getting married without having had a good laugh at my old adolescent photos of my "old nose" with my beloved. I would want to share all the emotions that lead up to my decision to get a nose job. Like how I felt like a big doofus in school and how the kids use to tease me and I was afraid to talk to the opposite sex, etc.
Those are all important moments that went into the making of who I am now and I'd want my beloved to commiserate with me and kiss my nose and tell me they would have loved me no matter what. When you're in love that kind of sharing brings you closer and to NOT share it seems almost covert, a way of NOT being open and vulnerable and trusting to this person you've pledged your life to.
You make excellent points. I was just objecting to the fact that perhaps the wouldn't marry them or have kids if theres a chance that the kid could turn out ugly. For me the most important thing are whether a child is phsyically & mentally healthy. I mean I am not all about the big bulbus nose either but Id rathe my kid had that than schizophrinia, mental retardation or some sort of cancer or immune disease. I have seen two good looking people have ugly kids & two ugly folks have beautiful children. I had a friend growing up whos mom was beautiful & my friend looked just like her but she was a beast! My husband & I are considered good looking by many people but the fact is my aunt looks like an ape & when we have kid our kid could (God forbid) look like her. And speaking of that aunt my younger cousin looks like that aunt and shes gorgeous!My husband also has some people in his family who aren't winning any beauty contest anytime soon. My point in responding was to say on the list of things that can go wrong when you are having a child the looks of the child registers way on the bottom for me & I'm a person who happen to take great pride in the way she looks.
You make excellent points. I was just objecting to the fact that perhaps the wouldn't marry them or have kids if theres a chance that the kid could turn out ugly. For me the most important thing are whether a child is phsyically & mentally healthy. I mean I am not all about the big bulbus nose either but Id rathe my kid had that than schizophrinia, mental retardation or some sort of cancer or immune disease. I have seen two good looking people have ugly kids & two ugly folks have beautiful children. I had a friend growing up whos mom was beautiful & my friend looked just like her but she was a beast! My husband & I are considered good looking by many people but the fact is my aunt looks like an ape & when we have kid our kid could (God forbid) look like her. And speaking of that aunt my younger cousin looks like that aunt and shes gorgeous!My husband also has some people in his family who aren't winning any beauty contest anytime soon. My point in responding was to say on the list of things that can go wrong when you are having a child the looks of the child registers way on the bottom for me & I'm a person who happen to take great pride in the way she looks.
I agree with you. Besides, no one could ever make me think my kid wasn't beautiful just the way he was.
That story provided me with a much needed laugh.
If a person is so devoid of quality inside that they would not marry someone who they thought the world of because of his nose - well, I don't think any marriage they were in would have a chance of surviving unless the attitude changed.
I have noticed that some people marry too young, not in age, but experience. There are so many people, beautiful and not so, who are when you get to know them, really broken and twisted and malfunctioning, that when you find a real gem a few rough corners (like a nose) pale into insignificance.
Sometimes this same mindset develops a screwed up sense of self-worth in children because they get the message that if they are not perfect mom will not love them.
I have dated guys who had spent long expensive times with shrinks because of mothers like this.
If you think like this and are considering marriage, do the guy a favor and leave him now. It is way too soon. Live life. Observe. Learn lessons from your relationships on how to improve yourself.
Oh, and the people like Presley and Rivers - that was a young picture of Presley that they were using for comparison. If both of these women aged naturally and you compared that to the way they look now, you would most likely choose the 'now'. Rivers is 72, for goodness sake. Put her now (admittedly overdone) against an average 72 females pic and then make your choice.
How many 72 year old women do you see on QVC selling things?
The fact is, she has had a difficult life and probably would have an older than 72 yrs. face at this time.
Could both women have had better surgeons? Maybe. In spite of that, would they have looked better or worse if they had no work done at this time? This is a matter of opinion. I do not know Presley's age, but I think Joan is definately better off because of it.
I mean Christian Amonpore(sp), who I think of as a no-nonsense lady, has had work done.
The only woman I can think of who has not is Madeline Allbright, and I will admit she has character. I like her. If we were all more used to seeing aging women in the media as we do men (but Tucker Carlson and many others had work) maybe this would not be an issue.
Today, in the media, it is the exception not to have work done after a certain number of years have passed.
Last edited by goldengrain; 04-28-2008 at 12:02 PM..
I (a 41 yr. old man) had cosmetic surgery last year and I think I look fine. I know others who've had it and look great too, and you'd never know they did anything. I think it's bad when people do too much, or like the stars who get addicted to it. Being 55 and trying to look 21, you're going to get unnatural results.
I had a brow lift (my grandfather had to have one out of necessity in his 60s because the skin was hanging and blocking his vision, and I could see the very beginnings of this with me, so figured best to head it off at the pass), then lower eyelid brethroplasty (remove skin under your eye and pull it up tight) and then fat replacement along my cheek bones. The end effect was that my eyes are just open wider, and no bags under my eyes. Granted it wasn't that bad since I was only 40, but since then I've met people who hadn't seen me since before the surgery and no one said I looked different, other than a couple people said I looked "rested". Not even my own parents noticed anything, having seen me a year before surgery and then 9 mo. after. I wasn't trying to look like someone else, just like me a few years ago. I doubt I'll have anything else done, but wouldn't rule out something minor.
The below website is appropriately named. Click on the links at the right of the page (like Bad Face Lifts) to see proof that money cant buy common sense.
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My husband also has some people in his family who aren't winning any beauty contest anytime soon.
My point in responding was to say on the list of things that can go wrong when you are having a child the looks of the child registers way on the bottom for me & I'm a person who happen to take great pride in the way she looks.
