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We've been looking at venues for almost a month now. I guess maybe I have sticker shock and didn't realize the cost per person for weddings for the venue.
Prices are over the map but venue rentals have been $0 - $30,000. Additionally, the cost per plate being quoted has been $140- $300 in addition the venue. That does not include, music, ceremony, flowers etc.
The standard wedding quote for under 100 people has been $30k, and $40k for a nicer venue and food. About 80% of our guests will be traveling out of state or from Europe to the wedding so we do feel the pressure to make it a nice event. All in we are probably going to spend $40-60k based on the quotes. We can do it cheaper, but I just dont know if I would be satisified doing an event at a mediocre location
First, I want to know is it just the state of NJ is so expensive? Also, what are your thoughts on spending a lot of the wedding? We can afford the wedding and won't be taking loans, but will be dipping into savings to do it. Have you felt that it is worth it?
The state of NJ is in the top 2 most expensive states for weddings. I believe the other one is Massachusetts. Your estimates seem pretty straight on. My friends just had two weddings a year apart for her kids. The first was in their home state and had close to 500 people. The second was a destination wedding at a very nice resort with approx 75 attending. She told me the destination wedding including airfare, resort accommodations the wedding itself and multiple meals for all guests like a brunch, a luncheon rehearsal dinner and wedding dinner was half of what the in state wedding cost.
We've been looking at venues for almost a month now. I guess maybe I have sticker shock and didn't realize the cost per person for weddings for the venue.
Prices are over the map but venue rentals have been $0 - $30,000. Additionally, the cost per plate being quoted has been $140- $300 in addition the venue. That does not include, music, ceremony, flowers etc.
The standard wedding quote for under 100 people has been $30k, and $40k for a nicer venue and food. About 80% of our guests will be traveling out of state or from Europe to the wedding so we do feel the pressure to make it a nice event. All in we are probably going to spend $40-60k based on the quotes. We can do it cheaper, but I just dont know if I would be satisified doing an event at a mediocre location
First, I want to know is it just the state of NJ is so expensive? Also, what are your thoughts on spending a lot of the wedding? We can afford the wedding and won't be taking loans, but will be dipping into savings to do it. Have you felt that it is worth it?
Mine was around $10K for 160 people in 1989, north Jersey, so that sounds about right. It was right around the time people were switching to DJs, but we had a live band. Everyone was dancing. People talked about how much fun our wedding was for a long time. Too bad the actual marriage sucked.
There are websites out there about how to do less expensive weddings. My daughter was looking at them (but broke off the engagement.)
Look at alternate venues that allow you to bring in a caterer, such as historical sites, or parks, or one of our state's 21 wineries. Alcohol adds a lot of $$$ to a wedding. My niece and her husband did a small wedding in western MA at a prior farm that rents out for events. They are not big drinkers, so they had alcohol only at the cocktail hour but not during dinner or after, although there was a brewery on the premises and people went there later.
My cousin had a cocktail hour and then only wine or beer during dinner.
Quick googling--not sure the first costs less but seems flexible
Mine was around $10K for 160 people in 1989, north Jersey, so that sounds about right. It was right around the time people were switching to DJs, but we had a live band. Everyone was dancing. People talked about how much fun our wedding was for a long time. Too bad the actual marriage sucked.
There are websites out there about how to do less expensive weddings. My daughter was looking at them (but broke off the engagement.)
Look at alternate venues that allow you to bring in a caterer, such as historical sites, or parks, or one of our state's 21 wineries. Alcohol adds a lot of $$$ to a wedding. My niece and her husband did a small wedding in western MA at a prior farm that rents out for events. They are not big drinkers, so they had alcohol only at the cocktail hour but not during dinner or after, although there was a brewery on the premises and people went there later.
My cousin had a cocktail hour and then only wine or beer during dinner.
Quick googling--not sure the first costs less but seems flexible
I’m not in Jersey, but we had our wedding and reception at a Bed and Breakfast. The property was absolutely stunning, inside and out, so there was no extra expense for decor. The use of the venue was only $400 for the day (10 years ago). The delicious meal served was $40 per person and we got to bring our own alcohol.
It’s outrageous what is charged for those hotel ballroom/reception halls and I couldn’t live with myself spending that kind of money on part of a day. I don’t feel it’s worth it.
We've been looking at venues for almost a month now. I guess maybe I have sticker shock and didn't realize the cost per person for weddings for the venue.
Prices are over the map but venue rentals have been $0 - $30,000. Additionally, the cost per plate being quoted has been $140- $300 in addition the venue. That does not include, music, ceremony, flowers etc.
The standard wedding quote for under 100 people has been $30k, and $40k for a nicer venue and food. About 80% of our guests will be traveling out of state or from Europe to the wedding so we do feel the pressure to make it a nice event. All in we are probably going to spend $40-60k based on the quotes. We can do it cheaper, but I just dont know if I would be satisified doing an event at a mediocre location
First, I want to know is it just the state of NJ is so expensive? Also, what are your thoughts on spending a lot of the wedding? We can afford the wedding and won't be taking loans, but will be dipping into savings to do it. Have you felt that it is worth it?
North Jersey has always been expensive for weddings.
I personally would not spend that amount of money on a wedding.
My hub and I went to cypress gardens in Florida in 2001, between flights, hotels, my gown, his tux plus the venue cost about $5k. We didn't invite anyone for a formal wedding, it was just us and a few local friends. We had the best day because it was about us.
When I got married to my daughters father in 92, we used the Green Brook rescue squads break room, had it catered. Everyone had a blast. That didn't cost us much either.
My daughter just got engaged and we are shocked at the prices as well.
We are in NC and for the venues that she is interested in it was around $55k and up (with everything) for 100 guests or less. We are finding ridiculous service charges and minimums on things. Some of them are requiring full time wedding planners that are on their "preferred" list. These people charge a minimum of $7K.
We think we have finally found a venue that is very nice that doesn't charge the 22% service charge (or let's just say that it is already built into their standard price that is equal to the base venue price that others are charging). We also decided to have it on a non Saturday. And since the venue is really beautiful we won't need to spend as much on flowers and decor. We are also keeping the guest list to 80 or below and probably only going to do the "beer and wine" package (no mixed drinks). This venue also allows a "day/month of" planner which will help with reducing costs. There are some other things we might do as well but we are still working through the process and the itemized budget.
We are also keeping the guest list to 80 or below and probably only going to do the "beer and wine" package (no mixed drinks). !
If a sizeable chunk of your guests don’t drink, this is the way to go. When one of my step-daughters got married, we had to buy a full bar package at a ridiculous price. Problem was, almost no one on my husband’s side of the family drinks. Those were mighty expensive cokes.
My son and future daughter in law found that having their wedding on a Sunday saved them $6K right off the top. So think about an alternative to a Saturday and Friday wedding. I add Friday because it used to be that was less but now it's as popular as Saturday.
Another savings is because there is a wedding at their venue on Saturday the greenery used for that wedding stays up. So ask your venue if they pull down stuff like that after each wedding because greenery is an expensive portion of the flower budget.
Also if you are planning on having kids at the wedding, when interviewing caterers or venues that supply the food as well ask them what they charge for kids plates. Some charge less and provide a kids menu. Others do not provide a kids menu and you're paying the same price per head for food kids wont eat. Or they do provide a kids menu but the price is still ridiculous. A friend is paying $300 per head and for kids $150 per head. The kids are literally being served chicken nuggets and fries. They are not allowed to just bring in Chick Fila for them nor are they allowed to just let them have a portion off the adult plates. They have to be counted.
Alternative venues are also a great idea. Depending on how casual you want or the vibe you want we have been to weddings at Breweries, a Natural history museum and a boat house/dock.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DannyHobkins
We've been looking at venues for almost a month now.
Congratulations on your engagement.^^
Quote:
Originally Posted by DannyHobkins
First, I want to know is it just the state of NJ is so expensive? Also, what are your thoughts on spending a lot of the wedding? We can afford the wedding and won't be taking loans, but will be dipping into savings to do it. Have you felt that it is worth it?
Danny, are you the bride or groom? If you have to dip into savings to do it, it’s probably not worth it & you’re having doubts. Listen to your gut. Do you own a home or are you planning a honeymoon? IMO, that’s 1st if you’re on a budget. There are ways you can celebrate or get married that will cost you less OR just invite fewer ppl to a smaller buffet or open house.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DannyHobkins
About 80% of our guests will be traveling out of state or from Europe to the wedding so we do feel the pressure to make it a nice event.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DannyHobkins
I just dont know if I would be satisified doing an event at a mediocre location
That’s super easy. Invite fewer guests & take the ppl off your list that are pressuring you. It’s your day.
If you have to dip into savings to do it, it’s probably not worth it & you’re having doubts. Listen to your gut. Do you own a home or are you planning a honeymoon? IMO, that’s 1st if you’re on a budget. There are ways you can celebrate or get married that will cost you less.
Truly, you don't need or have to buy into what the wedding industry is selling. Spending a lot of money does not ensure a nicer or more worthy wedding, all it guarantees is that it costs more.
If fewer people bought into it, we would see a shift. Do something different, something more meaningful than following the standard formula.
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