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My wife also used the term "weird" also for the behavior but also doesnt want us to burn bridges as that we have no other real neighbors. I do think I will have to say something and hope for the best, we have been building as well and every time I use a power tool it brings a visit and it sets back my progress. Its great that he (they) have helped but if I dont say something now this will become worse as years go on.
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Originally Posted by andrea3821
My mother went so far as accusing my new neighbor (when we first moved) of being a weirdo bc he had quickly gotten used to just walking wherever when we arrived. This was before we even moved in and would go every week to clear some trees and burn or something. We are a corner lot so 600ft of frontage on that side property line so it’s not a huge stretch to just walk over and say hi. My mother being a suburbanite thought he was being creepy but this particular man helped us immensely when we first got our land. I think it just depends what you’re used to. I don’t particularly like it but I accept I am used to something different from what these folks are used to and I’m in their territory now.
I'm generally very friendly (and outgoing) but maybe being a city person I also have boundaries, one of which is I feel its rude to just come onto a neighbors property without notice. My wife and others are saying thats just how folks are in the country and I should accept it. I value my alone time so honestly if this person cant accept this I'm not sure if theyre really the type I need to be friendly with.
It does stink though because honestly hes the only neighbor in sight, but I dont think I should have to put up with what I feel is rudeness just because of this.
I repeat: "if you want to have friends, be friendly". I don't think you value your neighbor as a friend.
Our neighbors and us have a perfect relationship.
We text or call each other rather than just hiking over to talk.
If we are at the same area of the property line then we are fair game for a couple minutes of chat and that’s about it.
We live on a long dead end road in the unincorporated part of our country.
For the most part we all wave at each other as we pass.
Walking down my driveway through my dense tree line unannounced is not the best way to get my attention.
That kinda creeps me out and makes me feel rather unsafe.
I’ve only had 2 strangers come to my door in 4-1/2 years and I was curtly polite.
Stopping by for a friendly short chat while I’m working next to the road is always welcomed .
One was a public utility guy mapping some underground stuff that the prior owners of these lands had run.
The other wanted me to pray his way.
The thing is we (even our neighbors) value our privacy.
Very few of the houses here can be seen from the main road and most have rather long driveways.
There really isn’t very many legitimate reasons to be walking down peoples drive ways unannounced.
I think most of our neighbors have been here less than 10-15 years and are from big cities or at least big city ‘burbs.
I have one neighbor that grew up in my ‘burb CA town and another from the next town over.
Having neighbors that have the same privacy values is nice.
It’s not mean.
It’s not rude.
It’s just polite.
Heck my mother doesn’t even just stop by nor do I just stop by to my kids houses.
Were pretty new to living in a rural area (we're on a long skinny 3 acres). Our neighbors wander over unannounced when I'm out in the yard doing things (I also had a friend doing the same for a bit) I'm told by workmates that thats how people are in the country. Coming from the city I find it kinda rude to come over with no call-text etc- but dont want to be mean to my neighbor by saying something (I've tried to get my point across by joke but not working).
I moved to a rural area three years ago after living in suburbs for the first 66 years of my life, and that is just how it is -- at least here -- and I love it.
I can't help but think that maybe you are just not cut out for rural life. Nothing wrong with that -- live and let live -- but I truly do think there is a basic difference in outlook between city people and country people.
But, yeah -- it does take some getting used to. My husband is a healthy 66, and in the winter, the only exercise he gets besides an occasional walk (weather permitting) is shoveling the snow, which he actually enjoys. Our younger neighbor (who we are friendly with) saw him doing that and came over with his snowblower, and without asking, started doing the bottom part of our driveway. My husband thanked him, but very nicely said that he liked shoveling, that that was how he got his exercise. Maybe he said it too nicely because it happened again. So now when it snows, my husband gets out early to shovel the driveway, lol.
(We are still just as friendly as before, though, so I don't think any offense was taken.)
There's plenty of people in rural areas that other people will leave alone. Just get yourself some junk cars, garbage, and a few big dogs that bark, and no one will stop by or interrupt your peace.
All joking aside… We can all understand being frustrated by delays when we’re trying to get a task done. But “my neighbor is too friendly and chatty” is just a pretty good problem to have in the grand scheme of things. .
Last edited by Diana Holbrook; 04-01-2023 at 12:03 PM..
debating on how to be polite?
this is just the way it is, get over it. my neighbor made me put in a gate, and its nice
but if you ever have a down fall, storm hurricane fire etc
they going be there in troves. just live with it, it not bad, its like having a babysitter you dont have to pay
its really nice
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