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WHAT IF you just kept on working when he stops by? Say "hello" and be friendly without breaking your stride. If he doesn't get the hint, tell him you'd like to chat but really have to finish this project. If he offers to help, you're stuck. Lol.
I'm generally very friendly (and outgoing) but maybe being a city person I also have boundaries, one of which is I feel its rude to just come onto a neighbors property without notice. My wife and others are saying thats just how folks are in the country and I should accept it. I value my alone time so honestly if this person cant accept this I'm not sure if theyre really the type I need to be friendly with.
It does stink though because honestly hes the only neighbor in sight, but I dont think I should have to put up with what I feel is rudeness just because of this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by grampaTom
In other words just be rude.
(by the way you should proof read your post -- I don't think you finished your thought).
OP: If you want to have friends, be friendly. If you don't want to be friendly don't be surprised if you have no friends. Not a difficult concept
I've tried that and he just watches me lol. Did you move from the city ? I lived in Kew Gardens for a bit and many days I miss the old neighborhood
Quote:
Originally Posted by ExNooYawk2
WHAT IF you just kept on working when he stops by? Say "hello" and be friendly without breaking your stride. If he doesn't get the hint, tell him you'd like to chat but really have to finish this project. If he offers to help, you're stuck. Lol.
Put earbuds on. Have your back to him and when you feel he is there, don’t turn around. It’s not being rude because they think you won’t know they are there. Maybe buy a pit bull that hates people and keep him out with you.
I have no problem with people “stopping by”.
It’s actually kind of nice. When I did hard time in the burbs for like 15 years the neighbors were very cold, often rude and annoying, some prying into my business. There’s a difference between neighborly curiosity and and being nosy. I grew up in a small town. We all had each others backs. For better or worse everybody knew each other, and while sometimes a little annoying, when the chips were down, most everybody had your back. So now that I’m back in the sticks I don’t mind it all that much. It’s not like an every day thing either. Neighbors toot the horn when they drive by if they can see me outside doing yard work, and occasionally somebody will stop and shoot the sht for a few minutes and move on.
In the burbs my neighbors just flat out sucked. Had the typical “mayor of the block” butthead that just had to know what everyone was doing, and would interject his 2 cents about everything whether you wanted to hear it or not. He was one of those dickwads that would complain if people parked in the street in front of his house. Just a total dick. Don’t miss him or the majority of the other neighbors.
next time your neighbor wanders over, tell them if they're not going to HELP
then give him $20 and tell him to go to the store and get you a six-pack of beer. Or something else. That will discourage random visits.
That is pretty much what I was thinking, lol.
No climb goat fence and a locked gate across the driveway would go a long way in adding to your privacy.
I was raised on a farm. I still live very rural amongst farms and non-farmers like me with large acreage. We are not koffee klatchers. Nobody wanders onto someone else’s property unless they have a dog, a horse, or a cow on the run and they always ask if it’s ok to cross thru.
Our chats consist of five minutes in passing on the road because every has something to do.
Conversely if there is a dire emergency, people quietly show up to help, then quietly go back to their homes without saying a word, That’s how it was growing up on NE Ohio and that’s how it is in Middle Tennessee
Don’t confuse salt-of-the-earth farm folks with other sorts of folks who choose to live off grid to carry on whatever it is they should ‘t.
Our neighbors and us have a perfect relationship.
We text or call each other rather than just hiking over to talk.
If we are at the same area of the property line then we are fair game for a couple minutes of chat and that’s about it.
We live on a long dead end road in the unincorporated part of our country.
For the most part we all wave at each other as we pass.
Walking down my driveway through my dense tree line unannounced is not the best way to get my attention.
That kinda creeps me out and makes me feel rather unsafe.
I’ve only had 2 strangers come to my door in 4-1/2 years and I was curtly polite.
Stopping by for a friendly short chat while I’m working next to the road is always welcomed .
I have noticed this also. I didn’t think it would be as bad as suburbia, but it’s worse. They can’t see me unloading groceries and come over to chat, they just directly walk allll the way over or stop by on their way out of the neighborhood and knock on the door or come talk when I’m outside. I have limited time due to kids (we homeschool and have a large family) and half the time I’m not wearing a bra so it’s rather annoying to stand with my arms crossed the whole time esp if I’m working. I am introverted also.
But I have come to take it in stride since these people have also been willing to help us with developing our property…things like tractor work, helping us figure out how to do corner fence posts, taking down huge trees safely, etc. And we are only two years in here and don’t have a ton to give back. I give eggs to people who don’t have chickens, or share a jar of jam, that kind of thing, but I can never really repay how much they have helped us. Figure some chit chat when they want to stop over is fine. Our fence is not completed yet so when it’s finished and our gate is up, that will change things!
I'm generally very friendly (and outgoing) but maybe being a city person I also have boundaries, one of which is I feel its rude to just come onto a neighbors property without notice. My wife and others are saying thats just how folks are in the country and I should accept it. I value my alone time so honestly if this person cant accept this I'm not sure if theyre really the type I need to be friendly with.
It does stink though because honestly hes the only neighbor in sight, but I dont think I should have to put up with what I feel is rudeness just because of this.
My mother went so far as accusing my new neighbor (when we first moved) of being a weirdo bc he had quickly gotten used to just walking wherever when we arrived. This was before we even moved in and would go every week to clear some trees and burn or something. We are a corner lot so 600ft of frontage on that side property line so it’s not a huge stretch to just walk over and say hi. My mother being a suburbanite thought he was being creepy but this particular man helped us immensely when we first got our land. I think it just depends what you’re used to. I don’t particularly like it but I accept I am used to something different from what these folks are used to and I’m in their territory now.
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