Compare yourself to your parents - same age you are now (physically, weather)

[COcheesehead]

Age 61
At this point in comparison to my mothers age, she would have past 9 years earlier from pancreatic cancer.
My father was still working as a plumber.
The house was paid for. Recreation was centered around the church, the occasional MLB game and weekly cards with family or friends.
A simple life, but fulfilling to him.

Us?

We are very active with bicycling, running, hiking, travel.
I retired at 57, but I work a few days a month at a winery. My wife teaches photography at the local University in the school of Fine Arts.
Our house isn’t paid for, but we have the funds to pay it off 10 - 15 times over. Our mortgage is such a low rate, we plan to keep until we sell.
We have more money than we know what to do with. My dad’s budget was way tighter.
I think he enjoyed life. I know we do as well.
I sometimes think my dad would not understand our wealth. It would have been so far beyond what he experienced or likely imagined.
I have a lot of respect for my dad and how he lived. Unfortunately my mom died when I was 15 and I honestly can say I did not know her as well.

[rodentraiser]

My dad quit school in 10th grade, fought in Korea, and ended up becoming a professional pilot. He had to move constantly to keep a job, though, so my parents, even though they were able to buy a house in their 30s, never stayed in one long enough to pay it off.

But by my age (close to 70), they still lived in a house they bought, my mother had never worked a day since getting married, and even with my dad's job uncertainty, they managed to raise three kids, although they didn't care if we went to college so we were on our own for that. But they managed to get dental and eye care for themselves and us while we were growing up. I can't remember the last time I saw a dentist and getting new glasses is a major expense for me, so it doesn't happen often.

Me, I finally own my own land as of a couple years ago but I can't afford to put a house on it. I'm living in a trailer instead.

My parents both smoked and my dad died of emphysema in his 70s and my mom died of lung cancer when she was 92. Both of them were hale and hearty until just a month or so before they died. I'm in much worse health than they were at my age and probably won't make it to 80.

At my age, my parents had something like $40,000 in savings. My mom was able to get my dad's Social Security after he died and without ever working, she got more per month then than I do now. I have some savings but it's a spit in the ocean compared to theirs.

Both my brothers went into the Navy and got careers sort of based on what they learned there. One married and had kids and one is still single. Both of them have surpassed my parents in every way, from owning a home, having savings, and having a secure job. I've had jobs that could be considered secure, although low paying, but my living situation has always been precarious. I've achieved far less than my parents did at my age. Part of that is how I chose to live and part of it is because I never got married. My parents always told me my future husband would support me and never planned on me living on my own, so I never got any financial or career advice. It's why I advocate so strongly for women to take charge of their own lives, even if they're married.

[Serious Conversation]

I can't really make a meaningful comparison.

I turned 38 last week. Legally single - been with the same girlfriend for three years, another girlfriend (who would have been 30 this month, and died two years ago) off and on for about two years prior to that. Never married, no kids.

The biggest differences...

1) At 38, they were renting a new build SFH. We moved between numerous difference places between when they were 30-38. I bought my house at 33 and have been there since.

I moved back to my parents house for about a year and a half at 30. I paid a third of mortgage, utilities, bought my own groceries, everything. The health system I worked for was going through a merger - all jobs were up in the air. It's a small town, so if I lost my job, I'd have had to move again.

I had a large amount of debt in 2016. I lived low during that time and paid off the debt.

They never gave me any cash assistance - just allowed me to move back into my childhood bedroom, for a third of the mortgage and utilities, which was about $500/month.

2) Other than a small loan through the city for my heat pump ($6k-$7k remaining) via the power company, I have no debt other than my mortgage. A little over $100k in retirement accounts and about $80k-$90k in home equity. I have about $10k in savings for emergencies.

Mom has always been a shop-a-holic. My guess is they had tons of CC debt then. They had CC debt well into their late 50s and early 60s.

3) I've had a couple of DUIs. Over the last ten years, legal fees, probation fees, increased insurance rates, etc., have cost me around $10,000. The first one was basically thrown in the trash legally and expunged because of an expensive, well-connected attorney. He was worth every penny. The second was in an extremely aggressive county that will take people to jail for running a red-light or having a taillight out.

My dad had some possession charges in college but nothing after 25+. He still smokes weed often, but fairly discretely. Mom has been a teetotaler her whole life. We have a lot of alcoholics in every branch of the family.

I've spent way too much money on legal stuff. It's easy to say - "I can pay $4,000 every four years and get out of a DUI," and rationalize that as a "cost of doing business." It's another thing to spend a week in county jail for a simple DUI - no accident, no injury - supervised probation, loss of regular license for a year, interlock, higher insurance, etc.

Fortunately, I learned my lessoning on driving while drinking (but it didn't actually make me drink any less...), and things are now back to "normal."

4) I've been basically everywhere along the East Coast and Midwest. My parents have never been north of Roanoke, VA "on their own." They visited me a few times in Indy and Des Moines. That's been it. I don't think they've seen south of Tampa, or west of Nashville otherwise.

I've done tons of over the road travel. Been in tons of small towns throughout the Midwest and East Coast. Been all over the eastern shore of Lake Michigan, Lake Superior, been on boats from Eastport, ME to Biscayne Bay on the ocean. Parents haven't done anything like that.

My parents were good parents, but not really a good match for each other, or a good couple. There was never much affection between them. My mom was always unappreciative of him when she never contributed much of anything. He did a lot of the cooking. All of the yard work. Most of the income. He'd generally get a scowl, and she'd pout. They have supported each other, but it's never been on anything romantic - just more practical stuff.

I'd rather stay single than be in an unhappy marriage. Both of them rant to me from time to time about the other. I do think they love each other, but at this point, they're too poor to break apart. Dad wouldn't leave her out to dry. Mom probably couldn't, much less has any idea, of how to live truly on her own. They're stuck.

I've enjoyed my life. I've made plenty of mistakes, but I've done a lot of cool stuff my parents were never able to do. My girlfriend and I aren't perfect, but we do love each other, probably more than my parents love each other. We aren't on the same page about what I'd think of as critical things, but somehow compromise and make things work.

[galaxyhi]

As mysticaltiger and Serious conversation said, I can't really compare, and see no need to.

Two different worlds, two different results.

I turn 61 this year. At 61 dad had been retired for 6 years.
He was an engineer for a major fortune top ten company (at least then, still in the top 100(?).
He took an early retirement window at age 55. He had enough paid personal, vacation, holiday pay accrued to actual stop working a half year before his actual effective retirement date, which went past January 1, so he received another 30 days of paid vacation (NOT just "4 weeks" 20 work days), another 15 days of personal time and another 11 paid holidays.

He retired with a pension, calculated this and so, and credited with a full year for a summer college temp job where he worked for the company.

He also received full employee healthcare coverage until he was eligible for Medicare at 65, at which time it picked up his 20% responsibility. He paid nothing for this coverage, and still hasn't and is 90.

No job I ever worked ever had a pension, only successively worse matches.
I always had to pay for my "employer sponsored" healthcare.

I also was put on SSDI at age 40..in 2002...and have paid dearly with my health for (28 surgeries, heart failure that has advanced to where I'm lucky to get to the bathroom (one level condo, at most 15' from about anywhere) with just one stop to catch my breath. I've used a cane to walk since 2006. And am resistant to using a walker as long as I can, and I'd rather die than use a wheelchair.
(I have just this month decided it's time to use the motorized carts at the store.)
I just spent nearly a week in the hospital with pneumonia and 4 other unilateral infections that definitely took a toll on my advancing heart failure.

Except macular degeneration, dad is still healthy as a horse, and still has all but 2 of his own teeth at age 89.

I doubt I'll live to 65 or 70, let alone get to my 80s.

My mother passed away from complications of MS a week after she turned 60.

So, you see, there's NO comparison.

Best

[Hemlock140]

I'm 71 and planning to finally retire in the next few months, and will celebrate 50 years of marriage in the fall. We will sell and downsize from our 3,000 sf 5 bedroom house and I can devote more time to my many hobbies.

At my age my father was divorced, living by himself in a brand new house he had bought in a low-income area. He retired at age 55, tried a new job but failed, and never really did anything after that, no hobbies.

At my age my parents had a total of 9 children, and 6 grandchildren. We have 3 kids and 3 grandchildren.

At my age my Mom was happily remarried, living in 3 acres in the country with a pond, woods and large vegetable garden.

Our income today is about 4 times what my father had at my age. I really don't know what my mom and stepdad made but it wasn't much. They had a reverse mortgage to live on.

[City Guy997S]

I've (so far) outlived my dad by 10 years. I attained the same education as he did (business degree) and financially surpassed him significantly by the time I was 29. Granted he had 4 kids by age 32 (kids cost money, lower your risk tolerance too).

The kids/grandkids multiple isn't really a measurement since the US population has faded away from large families for decades.

[EllieKay56]

We are much more active than my parents. I always tell my hubby-mom never to rode a bike. My dad did but not later in life. We also hike and take walks for fun. My mom never drove but she did walk to the store etc. We snow shoe, cross country ski etc.

My mom never worked once she got married at 32. Dad retired at 62. We are 69 and 68 still working. They paid their house off in 10 years. We paid cash for our 2nd house but after that have always had a mortgage. Will be paid off when we sell next year.

We became grandparents at 48. My parents were 55.

My dad died at 73 and my mom at 81. We will see at that end. Lol.

Hubby- his mom died 6 months after she retired at 62. His dad lived to be 86. But he was pretty content to go to church, out to eat, play dart ball. By his early 70s he needed more care and we moved him into assisted living.

[Johnhw222]

I’m 2 years older than my dad when he died. Too much smoking and stress as a small business owner shortened his life. Mom is 100 now and going strong. She is more social and higher energy when she was my age.

Lost my wife to Covid a year ago. Compromised immune system kept us from having kids. I’m content now aand some what a loner. I’m worn down from 4 yrs caregiver for bed bound wife and miss her but enjoy the less clock driven lifestyle I have now

[elchevere]

I am about to turn 65 later this month; my dad lived to 72, my mom to 89.

I am in much better physical shape than my dad--he had a number of illnesses by my age (heart attack, asthma, diabetes, thyroid, shingles, leukemia ended up getting him...he also had to contend with the loss of a daughter at age 19 which took a mental toll on him)...I have none of those physical conditions (exception: Raynaud Syndrome), eat less red meat than he did, and exercise much more than he did (walk 5 miles/day, workout at gym at least 5x/week). My mom was relatively healthy.

My secret: I give heart attacks, I do not get them.

I am in much better financial shape than my parents--unless I live to 97 or 98, I will outlive my money. I am single with no spouse, kids, or dependents. Even if I do run out of money, I will still have a pension plus--hopefully--Social Security will still be around.

[ChessieMom]

I have two siblings. We are all three very different from our parents at this age. Just no comparison.