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A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-95, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a State Trooper, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this!" and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding--a reason I've never before heard-- I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused then said: "Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-95, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a State Trooper, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this!" and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding--a reason I've never before heard-- I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused then said: "Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
One day God was looking down at
earth and saw all of the rascally
retirees' behavior that was going on.
So He called His angels and
sent one to earth for a time.
When the angel returned, he told God,
"Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% of retirees
are misbehaving and only 5% are not."
God thought for a moment and said,
"Maybe I had better send down a second
angel to get another opinion."
So God called another angel
and sent her to earth for a time.
When the angel returned,
she went to God and said,
'Yes, it's true. The Earth is in decline;
95% of retirees are misbehaving,
but 5% are being good..."
God was not pleased!
So He decided to e-mail the 5% of retirees
who were good, because he wanted
to encourage them, and give them
a little something to help them keep going.
I remember being in elementary school and mom would send me to walk down to the corner grocery store with $1 and I'd come back with 5 potatoes, a loaf of bread, a gallon of milk, a hunk of cheese, and a dozen eggs.
A blind old man wandered into a bar and asked if anyone wanted to hear a blonde joke. The female bartender told him it was a lesbian bar and she was a blonde ex-roller derby star. She said the woman to his left was a MMA fighter who was blonde and the woman to his right was a self defense instructor and blonde. She then told the man that the two women at the table behind him were blonde and ex-cops.
Then she asked the old man, "Did you still want to tell your blonde joke?"
The old man said, "Well, not if I'm going to have to repeat it 5 times."
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