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Eventually we all get old and our bodies decline. But we can go our whole lives with other qualities intact.
As for women I think they can have a wide variety of tastes and you are more likely to find women who find odd looking men attractive than men who find odd looking women attractive.
Even when I've dated conventionally attractive men it never clouded my judgement about them as relationship material. Looks just aren't that important in the larger sense. When you are young you may go ga-ga over the cute boy but it's just that, it isn't a serious thing.
That's a bad picture just to make a joke meme. A simple google search comes up with better pictures: https://www.biography.com/actors/pete-davidson. Based on his career, he's at least fun and funny, which goes a long way.
There is also the idea of a 'target rich environment'.
I worked a careerfield that only allowed men, we had zero females. In our time off, there was a lot of competition to find women.
On the other hand, I have observed situations where a man can put himself and be surrounded by women.
Consider dancers. Look at any dance school, children, teens, and adult age groups. Most dance routines have a male role, but dance troops rarely have any men. So one female must dress like a man and do the man's dance routine.
We have friends who have four children, and they are pushing all four to attend dance lessons. We attend most of their recitals. I have observed that if one male goes through dance lessons, and continues up through college, they will soon be the only man working with 30 women.
Within the social peer pressure of those women they will compete for the attention of that one man.
That's a bad picture just to make a joke meme. A simple google search comes up with better pictures: https://www.biography.com/actors/pete-davidson. Based on his career, he's at least fun and funny, which goes a long way.
The best thing he has to offer is a good weed connection.
To ask “how” suggests there is a formula, if you do “this” then “that” will happen. People don’t work that way, and when you see physically attractive opposites there could be any number of reasons.
Most likely though, there are traits the unattractive person has which make them attractive to the pretty one. Being smart, or confident, having a sense of humor, being socially intelligent are all traits that can result in such a relationship. But in most cases water will meet its own level, and I think people tend to couple more equally (with a lady looking a little better than the guy but them still “matching”).
Last edited by SerlingHitchcockJPeele; Yesterday at 08:32 AM..
In general I think guys are more visual than women. I think women's bodies are a lot more interesting to men than men's bodies are to women. So I suspect the effect is smaller in men than women. But that doesn't mean that there is no effect.
With some women when I first meet them, they may not initially show up on my radar. Later I will find myself thinking she is cute why didn't I notice her earlier? Also there have been some women after I break up with them I find myself thinking that "she not that attractive", at first I dismissed that as sour grapes, but there were women that I obsessed about in high school who when I look back at our high school yearbook I find myself asking why was I so obsessed about her? There has been enough time where I really don't think it's still sour grapes. I think my perceived attraction probably does change based upon how I feel about a given woman.
It's a subtle effect so we may not always notice we are doing this.
I don't pin everything (not even everything related to dating and mating) on evo-psych stuff, but I do acknowledge that there is influence from "reproductive strategy" if we are talking overall very general things one can observe.
People have said that women are the gatekeepers of sex and men the gatekeepers of relationships. I don't like that as an absolute, but like many things there is something to it. Combine it with this, the question of who is more "visually" motivated. I think it's more a question of each gender making their judgments at a different TIME point in the process. Lots of men will see a hot woman and know right then that they'd like to have sex with her. But after the sex happens, if she's crazy or annoying or they find out she's got major life issues or whatever...well, they may even feel repelled by her. They may want nothing further to do with her. The compatibility stuff starts to really matter.
Or he's highly motivated to seek "The One" sometimes to a point where he blinds himself to all of her character issues and fixes his belief on the notion that she is perfect and he's in love. I've seen that, too. What he is in love with is the idea of having a partner, once he finds a woman who looks good enough and is willing to engage with him...it's game on.
The woman on the other hand is trying to make her determinations before sex happens, usually. Which would make sense from a "reproductive strategy" logic standpoint, right? Good looks won't help when you are pregnant and need a guy who can protect/provide. Well, nowadays our thinking brains know we may not need either of those things. I certainly did not when I was divorced, 36, dating...but I did want a happy life. So my strategy then was, if you are fun I might sleep with you, but it takes a MUCH higher bar for me to want a relationship of any seriousness at all. Sexual compatibility became more important to me as well, as by then I knew myself better and what I wanted if I was going to commit to one partner. My desires aren't everyone's cup of tea and what most guys get up to in the bedroom, won't necessarily be my preference either. But at that point I was not even able to have kids anymore.
But back to the vaguely general trends that one can observe outside of the many granular anecdotal exceptions... A human able to have kids should theoretically be looking at the bigger picture if she doesn't want to end up in an abusive marriage, or abandoned to be a single parent, or whatever. A man's biological drive could be more skewed towards simply trying to give pretty, fertile women babies...but a woman's would logically be towards whether he might be a good long term partner for raising them or not.
It is at least a hum in the background, even if many of our thinking considerations can supersede it, especially as we get older and wiser. Or, say, if we are following religious training, or adhering to some other program that overrides the lizard brain impulses.
Why did Arnold Schwartzenegger have an affair with the homely housekeeper. I never thought his wife was particularly attractive, but the housekeeper - yikes. Arnold isn't exactly the most handsome, but going by what many here say attracts women (@@) - he could have found a 10. No telling what goes on in people's brains.
I generally find it stranger when a really good-looking man is with a fat and/or ugly woman than vice versa. Like other people said, men tend to be more visual. If a very handsome man is with an unattractive woman, I may assume that he is either gay, started dating her when she was more attractive/thinner or has social issues.
Why did Arnold Schwartzenegger have an affair with the homely housekeeper.
Convenience.
The only celebrity couple I can think of where the man was significantly more attractive is Hugh Jackman and his ex-wife. She isn't unattractive but there's definitely a huge gap there in terms of looks. People often bring up Pierce Brosnan as an example but I believe his wife gained weight after they got married.
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