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My sister (26F) is seeing a boy (23M) for 3 months. He is a self-employed and hired her part-time as an assistant. But now it's turned into a friendship or an early stage of relationship. So far, they have unfollowed and refollowed each other on Instagram 3 times and this cycle is accelerating. I mean the periods of following and unfollowing are getting shorter. The total days of following or unfollowing modes are almost equal.
Can this be considered a sign of immaturity, lack of healthy communication or mental instability from either or both sides? Is it a concerning sign or a major red flag in their relationship?
Or they are just playing unserious games and these temporary makeup/breakups may eventually steer the relationship to a smooth (or at least less chaotic) path, once they set boundaries and know each other better?
Just another reason I don't like Social Media. Immaturity for sure. Like, not like, thumbs up, thumps down. Jealousy, general childish antics, Facebook jabs, all of it. Way too childish.
May I ask why you even care about this? Slightly out of your general business I would presume.
I agree. This behavior reflects nothing but immaturity and its repetition clarifies they are not serious about changing themselves. But they still reach out after a couple of days each time; so either the resentment is minimal or they've not faced a more serious issue yet.
What I'm asking is if this relationship can last.
I'm not Gen-X. But I totally agree with you.
But the boundary is pretty blurred already; which is even more concerning considering that just 3 months has passed since the met each other for the first time.
She's an apprentice tattoo artist and offered him tattooing his arm. The guy already has a couple of decent tattoos, but took the risk and accepted. The quality is not on par with the old ones, but he posted a story, tagged her and introduced her to his followers!
She's North American and he, a Latin immigrant. There's a bit of cultural difference as well; though he's living here for 7 years now. Also she's 26. 3 years older than him. And add on top of that the fact that generally, females mature mentally faster than males.
My sister had a very messy breakup from her ex 2 years ago. They were in a relationship for 3 years, but the final year was rocky. Lots of nasty disputes and on-offs. Mostly, it was she who reached out for reconciliation; though it only turned out worse each time. Finally, once it was over, she was badly depressed for almost a year. I don't think the wounds or completely healed yet.
Is switching from this follow/unfollow strategy to having healthy conversations such a tough task that makes you feel pessimist about the success of this relationship?
She's not financially established yet, and that part-time role might be the reason she's still in touch with him. But does it sound like there might be an emotional bond between the 2 that prevents them putting an end to this broken cycle?
I suppose there are some empty promises each time to compromise and reunite, rather than serious attempts to change. Otherwise this cycle wouldn't repeat almost once per month.
Short fuse indicates immaturity and quick refollowing may hint that the disagreements were about superficial issues. But doesn't it prevent the relationship to grow overtime? And isn't the relationship doomed to failure once a major issue arises? Something that they might not have the capacity to handle due to instability and intolerance?
Do you think this sort of interaction is a red flag huge enough to threaten the survival of the relationship?
I warned her about that as well. But it's already gone beyond that. And in a fast pace.
She's an apprentice tattoo artist and offered him to tattoo his arm. Maybe because she doesn't have any clients yet. Though he already had a couple of decent tattoos, he accepted the risk. The outcome isn't on par with the old professional ones; but he posted a story on the following day, tagged her and recommended her to his followers!
She's not financially stable yet and this might be a reason she's not left yet. But some members are expressing there might be an emotional involvement as well, otherwise they wouldn't reunite after a couple of days each time they unfollow each other.
It's obviously childish. And the repetition of this behavior indicates that either or both just make empty promises to reconcile and reunite, since they miss each other. Otherwise, if they were serious about changing and growing; it wouldn't resurface at the rate of once per month.
But can this be a deal breaker eventually? Is it that hard to switch into healthy conversation rather than unfollowing (even temporarily) each time there is a disagreement? How much is the chance to save this relationship?
He doesn't have a well-established business. She's his only hire (a part-time role for some online administrative nonsense). He's self-employed and has rented a room (maybe 2) in a 7 bedroom student residence building and uses it as a home-office.
So, I've no ideas what happens over there whenever she goes there.
She's not financially stable yet and this might be a reason she's still seeing him. But the boundaries are already blurred. She offered to tattoo his arm (she's a tattoo apprentice) and he accepted the risk, though he already had several decent ones. The outcome was not as good as the professional ones, but he made a story, tagged her and recommended her to his followers the following day!
Maybe she wanted to use that opportunity, since she doesn't have any clients yet; but his post suggests otherwise. Even if they're in a relationship, the "honeymoon phase" doesn't look promising.
The repetition of this on-off cycle shows that either or both are not serious or don't have the mental capacity to change. Maybe some quick empty promises to reunite; but the pattern resurfaces each time there is a disagreement.
Do you think this issue is huge enough to threaten the relationship? Do you think this relationship has a chance to last?
She needs to learn on her own how to navigate that area. You are not helpful and full of negativities.
I suspect that you are the reason of her previous breakups.
Stop analyzing and interfering.
Focus on your own relationships.
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