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Apparently, this is socially acceptable to ask "Can I ask you a question?"
Why not just ask the question outright?
By having to ask that, is someone hiding too much?
Apparently, this question shows humility, but for me it shows social anxiety. It's non-sensical to me and I just don't like it. I guess when I encounter it, for me, it's best to push social boundaries positively and if it doesn't work out, move on.
Asking a question out of the blue is fine for family and close friends. For strangers and aquaintances, asking a direct question straight off is blunt and some people feel it is rude to be asked a direct question without some introductory transition.
Saying "can I ask you a question" or "excuse me please", is a transitional introductory step that many people like before they are asked a question.
Not required in some places like Manhattan NYC, where the direct style is normal for most.
When friends and family say "can I ask you a question", it is usually because they are nervous about asking you the question or they are trying to pause and buy a little time. Maybe it is something they find difficult to discuss with you or maybe they suddenly are trying to gather their thoughts as to how to ask the question.
I am hard of hearing. If you asked me a question straight off, I am very unlikely to understand or respond, even with my hearing aids on.
Getting my attention first with an introduction like "can I ask you a question", helps me a lot. If the person asking you a question is hard of hearing, they may say "can I ask you a question", because they appreciate it for themselves and may forget that not everybody needs it the way we do.
Apparently, this is socially acceptable to ask "Can I ask you a question?"
Why not just ask the question outright?
By having to ask that, is someone hiding too much?
Apparently, this question shows humility, but for me it shows social anxiety. It's non-sensical to me and I just don't like it. I guess when I encounter it, for me, it's best to push social boundaries positively and if it doesn't work out, move on.
I don’t think it’s indicative of humility or social anxiety. They’re simply gauging if you’re open to (what is likely) a personal question; heh, in other words, they’re asking permission to get into your business so as to appear less intrusive or blunt.
I use this phrase when speaking formally to someone, or in business conversation. Just blurting out the question without any kind of leader might come across as mildly autistic/retarded, or make the other person uncomfortable.
Thinking about it, I do not say this when speaking to my friends, my brother, my sister, my doctor, a restaurant server or a WalMart clerk. I do tend to say this when speaking to my DH, probably because he is often zoned out in his own world and that way, I don't have to repeat the question three times before he hears me. So if people you know say this to you often, but people you don't know well do not, maybe they view you as not always attentive to what they are saying.
Asking can one ask a question can be awkward too, but it really depends heavily on the context. For instance, asking that in an online format versus in-person could make a difference. If someone asks that repeatedly in a short period of time, it can just get annoying too.
I see it as a request for someone's time and attention, rather than just assuming that I'm entitled to it and they won't have any problem giving it to me.
If they are an employee in a place of business, it's me acknowledging that they have other job duties besides standing around answering my inquiries and I know that I may be interrupting the flow of their work, and it feels polite to ask rather than just cruising up like "HEY where can I find the <product?>" I am also generally willing to wait a moment for an employee in a place of business to conclude what they are doing and give me their attention. I've worked those kinds of jobs before. It's important to me, to be the kind of customer who is polite and doesn't make their day feel more stressful. A well mannered interaction can make a difference, versus one that feels rude or demanding. It is fairly interchangeable with, "excuse me." I also thank them and sometimes wish them a nice day at the conclusion of the interaction.
This makes sense to do in most of the Midwest, Rocky Mountain and Western states. Possibly also the South. Not so much places like the Mid-Atlantic states or some of the Rust Belt cities, from my experience. The social vibe is a lot more "don't waste my time, get to the point then get out of my face, or better yet do not speak to me at all" there, in my experience. Some places are more casually friendly than others.
Other scenarios - asking a stranger in public a question. Doing it this way, like I said, requests a moment of their time in a polite way. They can feel free to say, "sorry I'm in a rush, can't stop" if they are trying to dash off somewhere and really can't spare a moment. Or if they just really do not want to interact with a stranger (me)...it's fine. If it's a known person, a friend or family member, it still works as a request for a little of their time and attention. They may have it to spare right that moment or they might instead be like, "hang on a sec" or "let me call you on my break" or for the gamers in the family, they may not be willing to give their full attention until they finish what they are doing in that moment.
So it conveys that I am fine with waiting until I have their attention. And I appreciate when my husband does this "when you have a minute" kind of approach with me rather than just asking me something, since I work from home.
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