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The OP title is are you content? Not do you have enough money?
My point is that money is a necessary (not the only) part of the equation in order to be content, if one is being realistic. Money brings personal freedom, comfort, and experiences - all of which may be part of one’s contentment. That said, as stated previously, (an excess of) money is meaningless sans our personal relationships and health.
My point is that money is a necessary (not the only) part of the equation in order to be content, if one is being realistic. Money brings personal freedom, comfort, and experiences - all of which may be part of one’s contentment. That said, as stated previously, (an excess of) money is meaningless sans our personal relationships and health.
Contentment is a mental state independent of possession. we disagree and it is ok.
Contentment is a mental state independent of possession. we disagree and it is ok.
Contentment is a state of happiness and satisfaction; if you’re suggesting folks who live in poverty can truly be content sans knowing where their next meal is coming from or whether they will have a roof over their heads next month, then yes, absolutely, we disagree. Money is a necessary part of life even when one wants to self-righteously deny it; it’s a matter of being realistic to acknowledge its value relative to freedom (i.e. retirement, comfort and experiences) while simultaneously understanding balance.
In other words, it is greed or comparison to others which causes discontent - not money in and of itself.
Contentment is a state of happiness and satisfaction; if you’re suggesting folks who live in poverty can truly be content sans knowing where their next meal is coming from or whether they will have a roof over their heads next month, then yes, absolutely, we disagree. Money is a necessary part of life even when one wants to self-righteously deny it; it’s a matter of being realistic to acknowledge its value relative to freedom (i.e. retirement, comfort and experiences) while simultaneously understanding balance.
In other words, it is greed or comparison to others which causes discontent - not money in and of itself.
Nobody is denying money is not necessary nor that it is evil. It is the state of want that leads to discontent. Both discontent and contentment are possible no matter how much or how little money one has. Yes, I do believe poor folks also have their moments of happiness. I am sure watching their children hungry does not bring them contentment.
I think you get the point, but you seem to just like to argue.
I remember when I was young. My number # 1 driving force for me was money. Money was the most important thing to me because what I wanted to do with it. Money was my God. In my 20s, I remember people asking me, what is the most important thing to me? I said Money. It wasn't family, God, or happiness. It was money.
Money was my driving force that I forgo much safer routes in my life. I took much riskier risks than necessary and, in the end, I did not achieve the kind of success that I had hope for. But luckily, I also did not financially ruin myself or my wife's...by the time my wife and I retire, we should be comfortable. Ironically, I felt that I would have achieved way more success had I taken less risks in my life, but I have no regrets...go big or go home, right?
So, I suffered a stroke 3 years ago at 46. Not too major. I still can walk and do normal things; except I now have bad short-term memory issues. It took me 46 years and a stroke to realize that money is just that money. Despite my stroke and diabetes, I am healthier than ever. I now walk 10,000 to 20,000 steps a day, along with biking. And I am content. Honestly, I feel lucky despite all my screw ups and risky decisions. I know many people who are my age or older and do not a have a cent to their name and wondering how they are going to make ends meet. Some of them are in extremely poor health, they are in and out of hospital every other month. Others have already passed away.
So, yeah, I guess it took a stroke for me to rethink my philosophy on life. Are you content with your life? If so...when? If not, why?
I think I can say that I am content with my life. It's taken me a lot of years and a lot of emotional soul searching, because I just thought I had to have a man and that's just all there was to it. So, I jumped around and around into one relationship after the other until I finally got tired of it, stopped dating, got off the dating sites and decided to be single for one year before dating again.
It's been a year and a half, I've been asked out many times but I don't think I want to date right now. I love my life the way it is. I live alone, I have my little cat Essie Marie and she and I do just fine by ourselves. I go dancing with my old dancing friends sometime. I go shopping and flea markets on the weekends and I grill out on my deck with some wine coolers and Joe Walsh. I work 4 days a week and have a very well rounded life with my kids and grandkids and my hobbies. I have never been able to say this before, but I am happy with myself and happy with my life so yes, I'm very content.
I am content with my life. My time is my own although I choose to do a small amount of consulting because I enjoy it. I have great kids that I either see or talk to weekly. I have a great group of friends that I see weekly and do fun things with. I have 2 sweet Maltese for constant companionship, enough money, a cute condo that I own and my health. I have been able to travel to the places I really wanted to see. Life is good!
I think I finally 'got it' that I've had a pretty decent life when I was diagnosed with cancer and thought I might die. I am content with much of my life....I've been lucky, but I've worked hard, too, and am finally retired.
I've grappled sometimes with comparing myself with others or feeling as if I could 'have' more - most material goods, a better house, etc - but always come back to how much I do have to be grateful for. I don't need or want for anything.
In yoga, Santosha, or contentment, is one of the personal ethics (niyama). Remembering that contentment really creates a sense of equilibrium has usually brought me back to my center when I have strayed Random article....
I recall reading some studies (which I'm way too lazy to go and look up right now) that set out to answer the question of whether money buys happiness, or not.
A couple of conclusions that they reached:
1. In a society like America, it does but only to a point. You need to have enough coming in to meet all of your needs and to feel secure. After that, into the territory of surplus and luxury, it begins to have diminishing returns and we even see cases where the very wealthy are not putting the right energy into their relationships (all relationships) and their mental and emotional health suffers. I am thinking of the show, "Succession." Money buys happiness but only to a point, and it's not the whole picture.
2. With a nod to the post describing African tribes where people lived in what most of us would consider to be extreme poverty, yet appear to be happy... It's not so much what you have, or what you don't, it's the spread that you see around you in society between the richest and the poorest. When they studied entire cultures, if a given individual who exists anywhere in the socioeconomic strata can look around and see a huge difference between the richest and the poorest, then the overall level of unhappiness and suffering in that society goes up. If you don't have much but you look around and everyone you know and know of, has about what you do, then you're more likely to be content with your lot. This is also evident in the writings of people before things like TV and internet started sharing the lifestyles of the rich & famous with all of us. Many are the fairly poor Americans of times gone by who were pretty content because their entire community lived pretty much the same way that they did. "We didn't have much, but we had as much as anybody else seemed to have."
So even poverty tends to mostly cause unhappiness insofar as one has a basis for comparison and the belief that it does not have to be that way, and that you are suffering relative to others. And even many people who have plenty will feel unhappy when they consider the suffering of others relative to them, particularly as it is a problem beyond their own ability to meaningfully change.
As for me personally, I have, no matter my circumstances (and I've been all over the spectrum by any measure) been able to find sources of happiness and contentment, and to view hardships as challenges to work through and overcome. I don't think that I have ever had a problem that I did not believe was in my power to solve, or my ability to accept. I am a very patient person. I've seen many difficult situations I've been in, as just a long game that I am playing, and which I will eventually win. And I don't tend to get very invested in specific outcomes.
For me, happiness and contentment come with balance, in some aspects. Money being a great example. I need balance between responsible planning for the future, and enjoyment of my present life. I don't want to live in extreme austerity just to be able to die with a big number representing my net worth, there are no prizes for winning that game. But I certainly do want to have enough to feel secure in my future needs up to and including elder care. I don't feel much desire for some of the flashy things that some people want and enjoy. I don't want expensive vehicles or boats or designer clothing or handbags or a closet full of shoes I never wear. I do want a nice home, where I can gather with friends and loved ones. I do want to travel now and then, but not in some of the most extravagant ways. And yeah, for me, most of my contentment and happiness is about my relationships with other people. Family, friends, loved ones, meeting new people and sharing stories back and forth, and even getting into the creative work of certain people no longer alive... That stuff brings me a lot of mental stimulation, contentment and joy.
When I think of happiness, I think of times spent around a fire listening to my musician friends. Or the memories of late nights, sleep deprived and punchy at some all night diner, when that strange magic occurs that renders every single thing hilarious. Everyone sober but feeling like we're all high as kites, laughing so hard at anything or nothing that tears flow and bellies hurt. Or hiking in a forest with the sound of leaves stirring and water flowing all around, sun and shadow and motion. An indulgent nap in an extremely comfortable spot. Delicious food and other sensory delights. Losing hours and days in a good book. Getting into the flow state of a successful creative project.
Happiness exists in those moments.
Contentment exists in gratitude that I have had them and likely will again, in the memories and looking forward to making more. Not a frantic pursuit of one moment after another, but welcoming, savoring and appreciating them when they arise...and spending more time fondly remembering them than I do thinking of slights and grievances and aggravations.
That post reminds me of something my Father said about growing up in the 30s and 40s, "We were all poor. We just didn't know it."
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