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I don't think there's anything wrong with the question "Can we help you with anything?" It may've been or come off as overly practical to you, but that is something I might ask myself to someone I was just starting to know and didn't know very well, neighbors or not.
Next time, just answer I'd like to socialize more. Sometimes, the direct approach, at least a little bit, is best. It's hard to balance. (Boy do I know that all too well, lol.)
Maybe, to help with feeling more welcoming, offer a small gift such as a cake you made if you're going to try to be more neighborly without an appointment.
But also, sometimes when people say "stop by any time!" they don't really mean it. It's just a thing to say to sound friendly, like, "let's have lunch sometime!"
^^This! People say stuff all the time, just friendly but not totally meaning it. Happens to me all the time.
Hello everyone, I am here to ask a question because I don't know if I am being too sensitive or if there is something off about a conversation I had with neighbors yesterday. I do not know them well but have interacted with them before while walking or attending a get together at another neighbor's house. These neighbors I am talking about have said, "If you see us outside, come over anytime and visit." Well yesterday, I went by to say hello and asked the female how they had been doing. I was there to say hello. She was pleasant and cordial, and we had a nice conversation. The husband then came outside and said hello but then asked, "What can we do for you?" Was this weird or is this normal? I am asking because it seems a little off putting, and this man has always been very nice in the past. He was still cordial but just asking me what they could do for me was odd. I don't want to have issues with my neighbors but I almost feel like I said or did something wrong at some point.
I think you’re over-analyzing his question (and twisting it into a potential issue); from my perspective, it’s similar to ‘what’s up’. However, if you aren’t comfortable stopping by to visit them again because of his greeting (and you’re asking about it in CD), that’s odd too - no? Either way, you’re not obligated to visit them again if you felt slighted or unwelcome.
That said, what was your response?
Quote:
Originally Posted by lynneb_63
Does anyone have any ideas about why he could have said this? Thank you to anyone who can offer some insight.
Really? He’s not even likely to know why (or even remember) he said it. I’m sure he gave a lot less thought to it than you.
^^This! People say stuff all the time, just friendly but not totally meaning it. Happens to me all the time.
I think so too. Never really understood it, but that's the way people are.
I have a neighbor I have a cordial relationship with, they live behind me and our properties are bordering. We first met face to face when I bought my house, and I introduced myself when I saw her out in her garden. She then brought me a wreath after I moved in. I didn't let her into the house, just stood on the back porch talking to her.
Since then I've complained about the dog barking a few times, and when I do we end up spending a few minutes talking and getting better acquainted in a superficial way.
She often makes a comment about me not having seen the inside of her house and that I should "stop by and come in any time" to see it. I am mystified by this invitation. I have no interest in seeing the inside of her house! I don't say that though, I just ignore the invitation. If she ever presses I will just tell her the truth, that I am not that sociable and don't really want to go in her house.
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